My Blue Heaven Page #5

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but I can't work this zipper.

I can't work them myself.

- But Jack's a wizard.

- I should be. I've had practice.

- I don't want to bother him.

- No bother. It's a hobby of his.

Go and zip her. I'll change.

This may be the beginning

of a beautiful friendship.

- If I'm not home for a few nights...

- I'll understand, dear.

Turn around, darling. I think we better

approach this thing scientifically.

Would you hold my coat?

Oh, Mr. Moran, I feel so silly

making you do this.

Not at all, Miss Adams.

This won't hurt a bit. Just...

...hold your breath, grin.

There you are.

Can I have my coat?

Thank you.

GLORIA:
Thank you, Mr. Moran.

JACK:
Nothing at all.

Mrs. Moran, there are a couple

of dames... Ladies...

...who wanna come and see you.

- No, I'm worn out. Who are they?

- One of them is a Miss Gilbert.

- Didn't get the other name.

- Ask them to excuse me.

- Say I broke a leg.

- I'll take care of them.

- But be nice to them.

- Sure. Leave it to me.

Tommy! Tommy,

did you say Miss Gilbert?

- That's the name she gave me.

- Show her in.

And be particularly nice to her.

This may be very important.

Yes. Right away.

[KNOCKING]

Come in.

Why, Miss Gilbert.

- Hello, Mrs. Moran.

- Hello.

I hope you don't mind us

barging in.

Oh, no, I'm delighted to see you.

- My friend, Miss Evers.

- Hello, Miss Evers.

- Hello.

- Won't you come in?

- Thank you.

- Please sit down.

Oh, he won't bite you.

Get off the couch, Mr. Milton.

Get down.

Oh, well, stay where you are.

Please excuse my costume.

- I didn't have a chance to change.

- It's all right.

Kitty, I was...

Oh, excuse me.

You remember Miss Gilbert

from the foundation.

- Foundation?

- The Sarah Wilson Foundation.

Oh, yes, Miss Gilbert.

The squeaking door.

- How are you?

- That's right.

I was afraid you'd forgotten,

and I didn't wanna come...

...until I had some good news for you

and could kill two birds with one stone.

Good news? What news?

Well, I think we may have

a baby for you.

A baby?

GILBERT:
A fine boy.

JACK:
No kidding?

- Do you hear my knees knocking?

- When can we get it?

Almost any time now. That is,

as soon as Mrs. Johnston meets you.

The lady

who had that objection to...

- Jack.

- Well, what I meant to say...

...was Mrs. Johnston is a lovely...

- You're not Mrs. Johnston?

- I'm Amelia Evers.

Oh, I'm glad to know that.

I don't know how to thank you.

I just don't know what to say.

Oh, that's all right, Mrs. Moran.

I think I understand. I'm so glad

for you both. Goodbye, Mr. Moran.

Goodbye, Miss Gilbert, and if there's

anything I can do, just let me know.

- Do you really mean that?

- Sure. Just name it.

- Well, there is one thing you could do.

- Oh, Irma, please. It doesn't matter.

- What is it?

- It's an autograph.

Would you like a picture of us

together or separate?

I told you not to ask that.

Mr. Moran won't mind. It's just that my

friend here is a great television fan.

She even looks at the wrestling and

she's simply crazy about Milton Berle.

- She is?

- Please, if it's the slightest bother...

No bother at all.

I'll tell Milton next time I see him.

Thank you so much, Mr. Moran. If you

can't get his, yours would be just fine.

- It will be. Yeah.

- Well, goodbye again.

- Yes.

- Goodbye, Miss Gilbert.

Be sure and call us

as soon as you know.

Of course we will. Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

- Bye, Miss Gilbert.

Jack, we've got a baby.

JACK:
Congratulations, Mrs. Moran.

KITTY:
Thank you, Mr. Moran.

[BABY CRYING]

Here we are,

here's the young man now.

Wouldn't you like to hold your baby,

Mrs. Moran?

- Oh, yes, go on, hold him.

- Oh, I'd love to.

- Hi there.

- I'll get my coat.

Isn't he beautiful?

JACK:

Too bad our name isn't Kablinski.

He'd make good

backfield material for Notre Dame.

- What's the matter?

- Are these the prospective parents?

Oh, yes, Mrs. Johnston.

This is Mr. and Mrs. Moran.

JACK:
How do you do, Mrs. Johnston?

- How do you do?

Are you aware of the responsibility

you're assuming?

KITTY:
Oh, yes, Mrs. Johnston, I think so.

- Miss Gilbert tells me you're on a stage.

We were on the stage, Mrs. Johnston,

but we're in television now.

She told you I don't approve of actors.

Well, we had heard

some sort of rumor to that effect.

Oh, it's no rumor.

Actors are too undependable for me.

Every time you pick up a paper...

...you read about one of them

getting divorced.

Have you two ever been divorced?

KITTY:
No, not yet.

- How long have you been married?

- Eight... Nine.

- Nine years. Nine.

JOHNSTON:
To each other?

BOTH:
Yes.

I thought you already

had us investigated.

I like to make my own investigations.

I'm sure you'll find

that Mr. and Mrs. Moran...

...have more than met our requirements,

Mrs. Johnston.

I hope so.

You understand, of course, you're

getting this baby only on probation?

Probation?

You mean that this still isn't our baby?

A child can't be legally adopted

in this state...

...unless it's lived in the same home

for a year.

We have the right to take it away

any time we feel...

...that it's not to the child's best

advantage to stay where it is.

- Now, where do you live?

- Central Park West.

JOHNSTON:

Do you have your own automobile?

- Yes, and it's closed.

- Leave it here. I have my own chauffeur.

I don't trust myself or one of my babies

to a strange driver.

Now, then, let's go. I want to see

what kind of a home you have.

Take the baby, nurse.

- Oh, couldn't I keep him?

- I'll carry him for you.

It's all right.

I think she really likes you.

- Well, I think...

- Jack. Shh.

I was only going to say she'd make

good Notre Dame material too.

What a stiff-arm.

- Congratulations, Mrs. Moran.

- Thanks, Joe.

Fine-looking whatever it is

you got there, Mr. M.

A boy, you dummkopf.

Here you are.

[MUSIC PLAYING

AND PEOPLE CHATTERING]

Oh, it's this way, Mrs. Johnston.

Well, where's all that noise

coming from?

It sounds like

it's coming from the end of the hall.

I hope this doesn't go on

all the time.

It's usually quiet

as a church around here.

- Tell the management about it.

- Yes, excuse me.

People like this have no business

in a house where there's a baby.

Who are they?

- It's our apartment, Mrs. Johnston.

- Your apartment?

Selma must've left the radio on.

- Yes.

- That's our maid.

Well, open the door, Jack.

See what it is.

Won't you come in?

WALTER:

Here's somebody's... Come on.

GLORIA:

No, I don't want any. No, Walter.

WALTER:

Just one more. One drink.

Please, Walter!

I don't want any. No, no, no.

WALTER:

She's drinking the whole thing.

Look, there's the baby.

Oh, how about that?

How do you do, ma'am?

Bring it in. Bring the baby in.

WOMAN:
The baby. The baby.

- How about it?

Quiet, everybody.

Please, quiet.

This is Mrs. Johnston from

the foundation and Miss Gilbert.

How do you do? You remember me,

don't you? Won't you come in.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Johnston. We didn't

know anybody was going to be here.

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