My Blue Heaven Page #6

---

You didn't think we'd let you bring the

baby home to an empty house, did you?

Get Mrs. Johnston and Miss Gilbert

some champagne.

Oh, Walter. Please. Mrs. Johnston,

these are some friends of ours.

- They're on our show. They just...

- Take the baby, nurse.

- Oh, no.

- I'm afraid you'll think I'm very mean.

But I have grave responsibilities

in these matters.

I can't leave the baby with you

in these circumstances.

Oh, no. Please. This won't happen again.

I promise you.

I'm sorry. It's unfortunate,

but I have my standards.

We may be old-fashioned, but we've

clung to them for a good many years.

- Janet.

- Take the baby.

Walter. Tell her how this happened.

Oh, Mrs. Johnston, I assure you that

Mrs. Moran had no idea that...

We wanted to show

how tickled we were about the baby.

I understand, but I hardly think it was

necessary to have a drunken party.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Moran.

[BABY CRYING]

I'll talk to her, Mrs. Moran.

Maybe later.

Kitty, I feel like a dog.

I could cut my throat.

It's all right, Walter.

It's nobody's fault.

It just wasn't in the cards for us

to have a baby, that's all.

We'll see that you get another baby,

even if I have to steal one.

I think the kindest thing we can

all do now is just to go home.

Goodbye, dear.

- I'll call you in the morning.

- I'm terribly sorry, Kitty.

Good night, Kitty.

WOMAN 1:
Good night, Jack.

WOMAN 2:
Terribly sorry, Kitty.

I'll see you tomorrow, Jack.

MAN 1:
Sorry, Kitty.

MAN 2:
Bye, Jack.

See you, Kitty.

Want a cigarette?

I hurried as fast as I could, Miss Kitty.

I told them store folks...

...I had to get home before that baby.

But you know how it is,

everybody taking their time.

But I got what you said:

bottles, diapers, four dozen of them...

...talcum powder, Vaseline

and bellyband.

Take that stuff out of here, Selma.

Get rid of it.

But, Mr. Jack,

the baby's gonna need it.

- There isn't going to be any baby.

- Ain't going to be no baby?

No. Go on.

Get it out of here.

Burn it. Give it away, anything.

Just get it out of here.

And take the rest of this junk

with you.

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING ON TV]

[PIANO PLAYING]

Wait a minute. Aren't you kids

gonna finish on center stage?

- How can we if we slide to the left?

- Wait, watch this. Gloria.

Take the last four bars of it.

Oh, I know that.

We did it once.

Come on, Gloria, I'll do it.

Johnny, hit it.

Oh, excuse me, darling.

Oh! I called him darling.

- It's all right. Call him anything.

GLORIA:
May I really?

Sure. You ought to hear

what I call him.

- Try it again.

- Ready, darling?

Yeah. Johnny, go ahead.

Hit it one.

Hey, Jack, Kitty. Listen.

- Break it up, bub.

- Oh, Walter, we're busy.

WALTER:

Quiet, or I'll write you right out.

- I wanna tell you something.

- What?

Listen, I've got some

great news for you.

- Hope this isn't another sure thing...

- Hey, wait a minute.

It's okay.

I've got a baby for you.

- What baby?

- There's a girl who worked for us.

- She the mama? Where's the father?

- Sure.

- Vamoosed.

- Where is she now?

With some relatives

down near Trenton, New Jersey.

I've talked to them.

You can have it. For a consideration.

- Why get rid of her?

- Can't afford it.

- I told you I'd make it up to you.

- But is that legal?

Legal, illegal, who cares?

You want a baby, don't you?

- No.

- What? After all the talk about the...

I appreciate what you're trying to do for

us, but I'm not going through it again.

I feel the same way about it.

Come on, let's rehearse.

- This number's a little ragged.

- I'll be along in a minute.

I'm sorry, Walter.

Well, that's okay. I was just wondering

what's gonna happen to the poor kid.

[PIANO PLAYING NEARBY]

What is it, a boy or a girl?

- Well, that's just the trouble. It's a girl.

- What's wrong with girls?

Well, you know how people feel

about girls.

Probably the best thing

to go on out and drown it.

- Drown it?

- Well, they drown kittens all the time.

I don't think that's very funny,

Walter.

Neither do I.

Well, I guess I'd better call Janet.

Maybe I can talk her

into taking the baby ourselves.

- How old is it, Walter?

- What, the baby?

Oh, about 7 months.

- Cute?

- If you don't mind blonds.

Hello, Janet?

When can we see her?

Tonight?

Is it raining there?

No, it's not raining here either.

Okay, I just wanted to know.

Bye.

Oh, Walter.

[JACK CLEARS THROAT]

- Do the Morans live around here?

- Hey. Come on in.

- I was eloping with your wife.

- That's a right novel approach.

First he offers a baby,

then to marry her.

Jack, we've decided to take her.

I never doubted it for a moment.

Wait here.

I'll see what the situation is.

- All right.

- Be back in an hour or two.

In a what?

[MUSIC PLAYING ON JUKEBOX]

- Good evening.

PROPRIETOR:
Good evening.

- Table?

- No, thanks.

I wanted to ask if there was

a filling station around here.

- Right down the road about a half a mile.

- Oh, thank you.

They're outside.

- How many?

- Just the two of them.

Bring them around the back way.

Okay.

- Susan?

- Yes, sir?

- Table three wants the check.

- Yes, sir.

I'll be back in a few minutes.

SUSAN:

Right.

WALTER:
Down somewhere

here at the end. There it is.

I feel like a kidnapper,

sneaking in the back way like this.

It's okay. They just don't want

to cause a lot of talk.

Oh, these are the people

I told you about, Mr. and Mrs. Moran.

- Hello.

- Come in. Just in here.

- This is Mr. Tuttle. He's our lawyer.

- How do you do.

- And this is my wife.

- Pleased to meet you.

I have the papers all made out.

All you have to do is to sign them.

- Could we see the baby first?

- Sure. I'll get her.

- Is the mother here?

- She works nights.

It's better for everybody

not to see the mother.

JACK:
Does she know

who's taking the child?

She knows it will be taken care of.

That's all she's worrying about.

- Do they understand my fee?

- I have the money right here.

We're not going to

get into trouble, are we?

I've already explained to you, there's

absolutely nothing to worry about.

This lady and gentleman

are going to give the baby a fine home.

Which is more than you

or the mother can do.

- And if you want to avoid any talk...

- No. No, I don't want any talk.

TUTTLE:

Well, then, don't upset yourself.

Is this the full amount?

Wait. I don't like it.

I don't like it at all.

I feel guilty, as if we were committing

some sort of crime.

- Come on, Walter, Jack, let's go, huh?

- Come on.

Here she is.

We've decided not to take her.

PROPRIETOR:

Not take her?

What's been going on in here?

JACK:
Nothing.

We just changed our minds, that's all.

- Listen, if you said anything...

- I haven't said anything.

Take it easy. If they don't want

the baby, they don't want it.

- It's all right, Kitty. Let's go.

- Wait a minute.

- May I hold her a minute?

- Sure.

Kitty, come here.

Take at look at her.

Kind of cute.

Look at those little hands.

Look like she just got a manicure.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes