My Cousin Vinny Page #3

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DRIVER:

our jail has been ~_ondemned that's

why we're bringin 1 you all out

to the state correct_ional

facilities

OMITTED:

*

17B

J(is

Draft

EXT, PRISON - DAY

A few dozen, one story, bleak-looking bungalows, a couple

administration buildings surrounded by barbed-wired fence. Just

outside the fence, a dozen ACLU members demonstrate against the

death penalty. Placards mention a guy named NORTON - ("Only God

can condemn NORTON." "If NORTON dies, so does humanity" etc.)

Norton's going to be executed in a few days

STAN AND BILL - DAY

DRIVER:

r jail has been condemned

why we're bringin' you

out to t .. -.....,_t.ate correctional

facilities

EXT, PRISON - DAY

all

The van stops in front of the administration building

INT. MAIN CELL BLOCK OF PRISON - LATE AFTERNOON

As Stan and Bill are led to a cell. The other inmates - big,

vicious-looking men - spark up when they see the slightly-built,

clean-cut-looking young men. They hoot, cheer, and

wolf-whistle

19 STAN AND BILL'S CELL

A tiny room with a toilet, a chair, a sink and a DOUBLE bunk

bed. Bill and Stan enter - the door is shut behind them. Bill

sits. Stan paces - terrified. He sees a folded cot against

the wall

STAN:

You know what happens in these

places?

BILL:

Yeah ••

STAN:

And sometimes there's a big guy

no one wants to tangle with who'll

'protect you' - but you have to

become his sex slave and do

anything he wants

(CONTINUED)

Draft

BILL:

There's only the two of us here

STAN:

(indicating cot)

But what if they put someone else

in here?

Bill looks at Stan

BILL:

Stan - Shut up!

..... ~j .. l

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM AT PRISON - DAY

Bill's on the phone - he looks elated. He hangs up and grins

at a GUARD

21 INT. CELL

' __.,.,._,. ··· -·---

Stan is nearly catatonic with fear. Bill is led to the cell

and is strikingly optimistic by contrast

BILL:

All right, Vinny's leaving within

the hour - he's driving all night,

he should be here tomorrow. He

says 'Don't worry, your problems

are overStan pumps Bill for positive-sounding information

STAN:

Great. so, what's the story?

He's some kind of a hot shot

attorney?

BILL:

Wait till you meet him!

EXT. WAHZOO CITY SQUARE

It's a typical, small town Alabama courtyard - a colonial-style

courthouse in the middle, surrounded by grass

(CONTINUED)

A cannon, or a statue of Rober:: E. Lee

The streets around the courthouse have all the little stores

that service the small community of 2000; Western Auto, EZ

Finance company, a single floor, 3000 square foot department

store, a "package" store (liquor store). Many of the signs are

done in hand lettering

Some of the stores are so run down it's hard to tell if they've

been abandoned or not. There are a few people walking past

The setting is quiet, benign, serene. We HEAR BIRDS CHIRPING

It is small town in every way

THEN, WE HEAR.IN THE DISTANCET HE BASS FROMA HIGH-POWEREDC AR

STEREO (THUMPAT HUMPAT HUMPA). An obese woman in a floral-print

dress stops and turns toward the sound. It is unusual indeed

She watches unapprovingly as she sees ••

••• a perfectly-restored, but muddied-around-the-wheels

Cadillac coupe de Ville convertible. As the car approaches,

we can identify the music - hip-hop - it's Tone Loc's Funky cold

Medina. The car parks in front of the courthouse and stops

Silence. The driver's door opens and out steps VINCENT L

GUARDIAG AMBONEa, tough New York Italian-American. He's been

up driving for twenty hours straight and he looks it - unshaven,

wrinkled clothes and bloodshot eyes. He looks unquestionably

tough - you'd want him on your side in a gang fight. He's

wearing Ray-Bans, and a weathered black leather blazer. He

carries a deck of cards in his shirt pocket

Getting down on his knees, he checks out the front end of the

car for something is wrong

The passenger door opens and LISA, Vinny's girlfriend, gets' out

and stretches. Lisa's pretty, with perfectly-coiffed, jet-black

hair. She's more appropriately dressed for a New York club than

the deep south, which in these parts, looks downright trampy

She's got a small, instant-everything camera - and she takes

pictures of anything that looks interesting

VINNY:

(thick Brooklyn accent)

Boy, do you stick out

LIS:

(same accent)

Me? What about you?

VINNY:

I fit in more than you ••

She walks 'round the car into view - wearing~ short black

skirt, black tights and shoes, she's got long legs

2 2 CONTINUED:
( 2)

VINNY:

.•. I'm wearing cowboy boots

LIS:

(dryly)

Oh yeah, you 'blend',

As Vinny looks around the car, Lisa glances around at the

neighborhood, taking pictures

LIS:

I bet the Chinese food here is

terrible

VINNY:

(sarcastic to death)

Oh yeah, you're gonna 'blend

perfectly

Getting up, indicating car's front suspension

VINNY:

Nothing out of whack as far I see

LIS:

It feels like the wheels went out

of balance right after we hit that

mud

A black man with a gold STAR imbedded into his tooth is walking

past. He stops and watches as Vinny looks over the wheels

VINNY:

Nah, I don't think that's it

LIS:

I think you should put it on

rack and take a look

STAR:

What's wrong?

VINNY:

Car shudders on the highway

Didn't hit any bumps, but ••

STAR:

(points to wheel)

You got mud in your tires

(CONTINUED)

2 2 CONTINUED:
( 3)

VINNY:

I got mud in my tires? How could

I get mud into the tires?

STAR:

Well ••• it's a figure of speech

It gets in around the inside of

the wheel and throws the balance

off

VINNY:

(to Lisa)

You ever heard of that? Mud in

the tires?

No

;I

LIS:

VINNY:

(to Star)

And she knows everything about

cars

star laughs at the joke. Vinny's amused at Star's amusement

Lisa says nothing

STAR:

Down here, everybody gets stuck

in the mud now and then. We're

famous for our mud

LIS:

Famous for your mud?

(beat)

How's your Chinese food?

INT. CELL - STAN AND BILL - DAY

Bill'• asleep, Stan is pacing. WE HEAR A BRUTAL FIGHT BEING

BROKENU P SOMEPLACE- and it's really brutal - we hear the sound

of flesh smacking against cement, clothes ripping. Stan freezes

in horror

(CONTINUED)

I:

' "

I:

VICIOUS VOICE:

(o.s.)

YOUM UTHA-FUCKAI,' M GONNAS PLIT

YOU IN TWO! STOP YOUR F***IN

CRYING' OR I'LL TEAR YOUR F***IN

HEAD OFF YOUR F***IN' SHOULDERS.!

OTHER VOICE:

(o.s., desperate)

NO! OH GOD, NO! STOP! HELP!

HELP! SOMEBODYH ELP!

Then we hear silence as his voice is mysteriously muffled

Stan turns away in horror, his face against the back wall of

the c~ll. WE HEAR FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING. The guard opens the

cell, lets Vinny in. Vinny slips the guard a tip. The Guard

closes the cell door. Stan doesn't know that Vinny is Vinny

He suspects the worst

GUARD:

Here, I've got somebody for you,

VINNY:

You must be Stan

{Extends his hand)

How ya doin'?

STAN:

(shrugs, cautiously

shakes hand)

Why'd they bring you in here?

VINNY:

I just got in. I asked where the

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