My Cousin Vinny Page #4
- R
- Year:
- 1992
- 120 min
- 16,122 Views
new guys were so they brought me
here
{looks at Bill, fondly)
Hey, he's sleepin', cute little
guy
Despite his raunchy appearance, Vinny's friendly - which Stan
misconstrues to be a cat playing with a mouse. He avoids
meeting Vinny's eyes
STAN:
I ••• don't want to ••• do this
He sits. Vinny steps behind him and starts massaging his
shoulders( CONTINUED) -~----~-.-~------------............... ·----·----------
VINNY:
I don't blame you, if I was in
your situation, I'd want to get
through this whole thing over as
quickly and with as little pain
as possible. So lets try our best
to make this thing a simple in
and out procedure
(CONTINUED)
---·---·---~--------- ..-.- -..-..r.-., .... ·•-"'"-- .... _.,._. _ ~----, - ...... --,.,.,,_ _, . -----
CONTINUED:
(2)Stan says nothing
shoulder, massaging
are confirmed
Vinny comes over and puts his hand on Stan's
it, being comforting. Stan's worst fears
VINNY:
minutes to - get acquainted before
we, you know, get to it
Stan squirms away from Vinny, keeping his back to the wall
VINNY:
Whatsa matter?
STAN:
I don't want to do this
VINNY:
I understand, but what're your
alternatives?
STAN:
My alternatives? To what? To
you? I don't know - Suicide -
Death
VINNY:
No. It's either me ••
(joking, points to
prison block)
••• or them! You're gettin' f***ed
one way or the other!
(Stan doesn't laugh,
he's almost in tears)
Hey, hey, hey, lighten up, don't
worry, I'm going to help you
STAN:
Gee whiz, thanks
VINNY:
(beat, losing patience)
Excuse me, I think a modicum of
gratitude is not out line
STAN:
(outraged)
You think I should be grateful?
(CONTINUED)
I:
)
CONTINUED:
( 4)VINNY:
(mildly miffed)
Sure, I mean, it's your ass, not
grateful - I think you should be
on your f***in' knees
STAN:
(disgusted, then ••• )
I didn't know what an honor it
was to get a visit from you
l
VINNY:
(pissed-off)
You're·getting' me for free pall
I'm doin' you a favor, you little
sh*t!
STAN:
Boy, that's one helluva ego you've
got
VINNY:
(almost losing it)
What the f***'s your problem?
I didn't coma down hara just to
get jerked off .•
STAN:
(interrupting)
I'm~ jerking you off. I'm not
doing anything!
VINNY:
You're on your own, pal ••
(points to Bill)
I'm just takin' care of this guy
(to Bill)
Hey, Slaepin' Beauty, wake up!
Vinny sits on the bad next to Bill. Stan grabs Vinny and balls
a fist. Bill stirs, wakes, sees Vinny, smiles warmly
BILL:
(warmly putting on
strong Italian-Brooklyn
accent)
Hey ••• 'Vinny-bag-a-donuts'!
Vinny and Bill embrace warmly
STAN:
(stunned, realizes)
Oh! Vinny? This is Vinny?
INT, CONFERENCER OOM- VINNY, STAN AND BILL
Bill's waxing enthusiastic. Stan is hoping against hope
BILL:
I've told Stan so much about you
He couldn't wait to meet you
VINNY:
(skeptically)
Oh yeah?
BILL:
He has lots of questions to ask
you. Go on, Stan
STAN:
Well, I don't know where to
start •••• have you had any murder
cases before?
VINNY:
No •• this would be my first
STAN:
Your first? What have your other
cases been? Assault and battery?
Armed robbery?
VINNY:
No, none of those
BILL:
I expect he's done burglary, grand
theft auto, drugs ••• ?
VINNY:
Nope. Nothing like that
BILL:
(confused)
Vinny, you are a criminal
attorney, aren't you?
VINNY:
Actually, this will be my first
foray into the criminal arenSTAN
(crushed)
First time?
(he looks at Bill, then
at Vinny)
What kind of law do you practice?
(CONTINUED)
' l
24 CONTINUED:
:VINNY:
Up 'till now, personal injury
(laughs)
It just keeps gettin' worse here
doesn't it? Got any more
questions?
STAN:
But you are a trial attorney?
Personal injury trials?
VINNY:
Actually, this will be my first
foray into the trial process -I
haven't had to go to court yet
- knock on wood
STAN:
It does get worse
(beat)
You haven't been to court yet,
uh, how •.. long have you been
practicing?
VINNY:
Six ... weeks
(corrects himself)
••• almost six weeks
STAN looks at Bill, with a hopeless 'what is this?' expression
,.-
BILL:
But ••• you graduated from law
school six years ago, what've you
been doing since?
VINNY:
Studying for the bar
,,- STAN
Six years? That's a lott
studying
VINNY:
!lo kidding
(slightly embarrassed)
'To be honest with you, I didn't
;,ass the first time out
STAN:
!Did you pass the second time?
(CONTINUED)
,.. VINNY
No, I'm afraid not
STAN:
(hopefully)
Three time's a charm?
VINNY:
Not tor me it isn't. No, tor me,
illtle dyslexic,
STAN:
(aghast)
Six times ••• it just gets worse
and worse
VINNY:
No, that's it, that's as bad as
it gets, it don't get no worse
than this
,.-
I I:
INT. COURTROOM- DAY
Vinny walks through the empty courtroom
INT. JUDGE'S CHAMBERS- JUDGE AND VINNY - LATE AFTERNOON
The most noticeable thing about the
expanse of books lining the walls
JUDGE CHAMBERLAIHNA LLER. Vinny is
no jacket or tie
JUDGE:
judge's
Vinny's
wearing
A little informal aren't we? Not
wearing a coat or tie
VINNY:
Oh. Sorry
JUDGE:
Well, approving an attorney from
out of state is a pretty informal
matter. I just have a few
questions
VINNY:
Fire away, Judge
JUDGE:
Where did you go to law school?
VINNY:
Brooklyn Academy of Law
chambers is the vast
seated in front of
a shirt and pants,
Vinny looks up and sees the judge's law diploma - from Yale
-sununa cum laude
JUDGE:
The Brooklyn Academy of Law? Is
that an accredited law school?
The judge's sul:
)tly elitist response makes Vinny instantly feelhe has somehow flunked the first question
VINNY:
(lies)
Oh ••• yes
JUDGE:
How long have you been practicing?
VINNY:
(succumbs to lying big)
I'd say about ••• oh ••• six ••• almost
six •.. sixteen years
(CONTINUED)
JUDGE:
Any murder cases?
VINNY:
Oh, quite a few, yes
JUDGE:
And what was the outcome?
VINNY:
Well, you know:
win some, losesome
JUDGE:
This is not the forum to be
cavalier
VINNY:
Of course not, lemme see, most
recently I had an ax murder -which
I won on grounds of temporary
insanity - would you like to hear
the facts of the case?
JUDGE:
No .• What else?
VINNY:
I had a cop killer ••
(shakes head)
.•. lost that one
JUDGE:
Good
VINNY:
You've heard of Son of Sam?
JUDGE:
The fellah who received orders
to kill from a dawg?
VINNY:
Yes, that's right
JUDGE:
You defended him?
VINNY:
arrested - who was found innocent
Then they caught the real guy
(CONTINUED)
i -~- . -~·
2 5 CONTINUED:
( 2)Vinny's trying to impress the judge has a deleterious effect
-the judge has a fear of appearing backwards
JUDGE:
Well ..• we don't have any 'serial
killers' in BeechUJD County, but
what we do have is every bit as
sophisticated a system of justice
as they do in the rest of the
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