My Fair Lady Page #3

And to pay for 'em, too, make no mistake.

Well!

And what do you expect me to say?

Well, if you was a gentleman,

you might ask me to sit down, I think.

Don't I tell you I'm bringin' you business?

Should we ask this baggage to sit down...

...or shall we just throw her

out of the window?

I won't be called a baggage.

Not when I've offered to pay like any lady.

PICKERING:
What do you want, my girl?

I want to be a lady in a flow'r shop...

...'stead of sellin' at the corner

of Tottenham Court Road.

But they won't take me

unless I can talk more genteel.

He said 'e could teach me.

Well, 'ere I am ready to pay 'im.

Not asking any favor

and he treats me as if I was dirt.

I know what lessons cost as well as you do

and I'm ready to pay.

How much?

Now you're talkin'.

I thought you'd come off it

for a chance to get back...

...a bit of what you chucked

at me last night.

You'd had a drop in, 'adn't you?

Sit down.

- If you're goin't' make a compliment of it-

- Sit down!

Sit down, girl. Do as you're told.

What's your name?

Eliza Doolittle.

Won't you sit down, Miss Doolittle?

I don't mind if I do.

How much do you propose

to pay me for these lessons?

Oh, I know what's right.

My lady friend gets French lessons

for 18 pence an hour...

...from a real French gentleman.

You wouldn't have the face

to ask me the same...

...for teachin' me my own language

as you would for French.

I won't give more than a shillin'.

Take it or leave it.

Do you know, Pickering,

if you think of a shilling...

...not as a simple shilling,

but as a percentage of this girl's income...

...it works out as fully equivalent of...

...60 or 70 pounds from a millionaire.

By George, it's enormous.

It's the biggest offer I ever had.

Sixty pounds? What are you talkin'

about? Where would I get 60 pounds?

- I never offered you 60 pounds!

- Hold your tongue!

But I ain't got 60 pounds!

Don't cry, silly girl. Sit down.

Nobody's going to touch your money.

Somebody'll touch you with a broomstick

if you don't stop sniveling.

Sit down!

Anybody'd think you was my father!

If I decide to teach you,

I'll be worse than two fathers to you.

Here.

What's this for?

To wipe your eyes. To wipe any part

of your face that feels moist.

Remember, that's your handkerchief

and that's your sleeve.

Don't confuse one with the other,

if you want to become a lady in a shop.

It's no use to talk to her like that.

She doesn't understand you.

Give the 'andkerchief to me.

He give it to me, not to you!

Higgins, I'm interested.

What about your boast...

...you could pass her off as a duchess

at the Embassy Ball?

I'll say you're the greatest teacher alive

if you do that.

I'll bet you all the expenses

of the experiment that you can't do it.

I'll even pay for the lessons.

You're real good. Thank ye, Capt'n.

It's almost irresistible.

She's so deliciously low.

So horribly dirty.

I ain't dirty! I washed my face an' hands

before I come, I did.

I'll take it. I'll make a duchess

of this draggle-tailed guttersnipe.

We'll start today. This moment.

Take her away and clean her.

Sandpaper, if it won't come off.

Is there a fire in the kitchen?

Take her clothes off and burn them

and order some new ones.

Just wrap her in brown paper

till they come.

You're no gentleman, you're not,

to talk o' such things.

I'm a good girl, I am.

And I know what the likes of you are, I do.

We want none of your slum prudery here,

young woman.

You've got to learn to behave

like a duchess.

Take her away, Mrs. Pearce.

If she gives you any trouble, wallop her.

I'll call the police, I will.

I've got no place to put her.

Well, put her in the dustbin.

Come, Higgins, be reasonable.

You must be reasonable,

Mr. Higgins, you must.

You can't walk over everybody like this.

I?

Walk over everybody?

My dear Mrs. Pearce, my dear Pickering,

I had no intention of walking over anybody.

I merely suggested we should be kind

to this poor girl.

I didn't express myself clearly

because I didn't wish to hurt her delicacy...

...or yours.

But, sir, you can't take a girl up like that...

...as if you were picking up

a pebble on the beach.

Why not?

Why not? But you don't know

anything about her.

What about her parents?

She may be married.

Garn!

There. As the girl

very properly says, "garn! "

Who'd marry me?

By George, Eliza...

...the streets will be strewn

with the bodies of men...

...shooting themselves for your sake

before I'm done with you.

I'm goin'.

He's off his chump, he is.

I don't want no balmies teachin' me.

Mad? All right, Mrs. Pearce,

don't order those new clothes.

- Throw her out.

- Stop! I won't allow it.

Go home to your parents, girl.

I ain't got no parents.

She ain't got no parents. What's the fuss?

Nobody wants her. She's no use

to anyone but me. Take her upstairs!

What's to become of her?

Is she to be paid anything?

Do be sensible, sir.

What'd she do with money?

She'll have food and clothes.

She'll drink if you give her money.

You are a brute! It's a lie!

Nobody ever saw the sign o' liquor on me.

Sir, you're a gentleman.

Don't let 'im speak to me like that!

Does it occur to you, Higgins,

the girl has some feelings?

No, I don't think so.

No feelings we need worry about.

Well, have you, Eliza?

I got me feelings same as anyone else.

Mr. Higgins, I must know on what terms

the girl is to be here.

What'll become of her

when you've finished teaching?

You must look ahead a little, sir.

What'll become of her if we leave her

in the gutter, Mrs. Pearce?

That's her own business,

not yours, Mr. Higgins.

When I'm done, we'll throw her back.

Then it'll be her own business again.

That'll be all right, won't it?

You've no feelin' 'eart in ya!

You don't care for nothin' but yourself.

I've 'ad enough of this. I'm goin'!

You ought to be ashamed of yourself!

Have some chocolates, Eliza.

'Ow do I know what might be in 'em?

I've 'eard of girls bein' drugged

by the likes o' you.

Pledge of good faith.

I'll take one half.

And you take the other.

You'll have boxes of them,

barrels of them every day.

You'll live on them, eh?

I wouldn't've ate it, only I'm too ladylike

to take it out o' me mouth.

Think of it, Eliza.

Think of chocolates, and taxis...

...and gold and diamonds.

I don't want no gold and no diamonds.

I'm a good girl, I am.

Higgins, I really must interfere.

Mrs. Pearce is quite right.

If this girl will put herself

in your hands for six months...

...for an experiment in teaching, she must

understand thoroughly what she's doing.

Eliza...

You are to stay here

for the next six months...

...learning how to speak beautifully

like a lady in a florist shop.

If you're good and do what you're told,

you'll sleep in a proper bedroom...

...have lots to eat, money

to buy chocolates and take rides in taxis.

But if you are naughty and idle...

...you'll sleep in the kitchen

amongst the black beetles...

...and be walloped by Mrs. Pearce

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