My Favorite Wife Page #6

- Back so soon?

- Forget something, old man?

How would you like to come along with me?

Just for the ride, huh?

What are you laughing at?

Just thinking, after seven years,

what's another half-hour?

- Go on, Stephen.

- All right.

Have you your own car, or shall I call a cab?

Do you ride in cabs,

or do you just trot alongside?

Goodbye, Eve.

I'll see you later.

What do you think it could be?

It is not at all unusual.

- Really?

- There are hundreds of such cases.

Why, only last week,

I heard of a case of a man...

Where have you been?

I have to get some clothes for a friend.

He's downstairs in the car.

This is Dr. Kohlmar. He's going to help us.

- It's all right, he knows.

- He knows what?

It's not at all unusual.

There are hundreds of such cases.

It's been a pleasure, but if you'll excuse me,

I'll go on with my packing.

You see, doctor?

He just doesn't make sense.

Sometimes I think I'm going mad,

stark staring mad.

Now, now, now. Not at all unusual.

The mood and pose is characteristic

of the frustrated individual.

If I may make a suggestion.

- Yes, doctor?

- You just rest.

I'll wander in on your husband casually

and talk things over.

Please, doctor, I don't care what you do,

but please do something.

There, there.

- You think it matches?

- Oh, yes.

- Blue ought to go with blue?

- Very becoming.

It's for a friend.

He's waiting downstairs.

Oh, I see.

What's the matter with you?

Nick! Nick!

- Gotta go.

- Where?

Supreme Court, part three.

Most important case of my career.

Sorry, but I must ask you to stay.

- Can't let the client down. Grave charge.

- I insist. I have to talk to you.

Look here, I don't really need you.

I'll defend myself.

- You want to ruin my career?

- No, Nick, I don't, but...

- Give me the law books.

- Talk to Dr. Kohlmar for a few minutes!

- Wait a minute!

- Goodbye, old man!

Now, what do you want?

What do you both want?

Can't a man come home

without being spied on?

We're trying to help.

You want to lie down?

I don't want to lie down.

I don't need a doctor. Go away.

- I've been trying to tell you.

- Trying to tell me what?

I'm married!

Of course you are, dear.

My wife's not dead! She didn't drown!

She fell in the pool! I was getting clothes.

That's when he thought that...

That fellow that was just here,

you remember?

He was on the island with her.

- They're at the club, and I have to go.

- I understand, dear.

No, you don't understand!

Now, listen carefully.

She came to the hotel.

You remember the honeymoon?

Well, that's why...

My goodness, isn't it clear to you?

Do I have to draw a diagram?

You need a long rest, Nick.

Doesn't he, doctor?

- Mr. Arden?

- Not now.

My wife, the mother of my children,

Ellen Wagstaff...

- Mr. Arden?

- What is it?

I've got a warrant for your arrest.

Arrest? You can't arrest me.

What's the charge?

- Bigamy.

- Bigamy?

Do you mind coming with us, Mr. Arden?

Now do you believe me?

- If Your Honor please, I was...

- Quiet!

I don't know what you're doing here.

- Bigamy is a criminal offense.

- I know, but I'm out on bail...

I don't care anything about the bail.

This is a civil court.

What kind of a lawyer are you?

- Where did you go to school?

- Harvard.

I'm a Yale man, myself.

Are you the bride?

Yes, Your Honor.

- Kissless?

- Yes, Your Honor.

Harvard man.

I see nothing wrong with my decision.

You presented your brief.

The evidence is all here.

Yeah, it's all here.

Teething and so forth.

You want me to reverse myself?

Now, you go to the Court of Appeals.

They're always reversing me anyway.

Your Honor,

I have a precedent for this case.

I cite the case of Mulligan v.

Mulligan-Benson in the city of Fresno, 1 879.

How long do I have to stay

and listen to this worm?

- Just a moment.

- Go on.

Tell us what happened in

Mulligan v. Mulligan-Benson.

Mrs. Mulligan returned after

an absence of considerable length...

...to find that Mr. Mulligan had remarried.

Now, Mrs. Benson-Mulligan,

the second wife...

It was a sort of a mulligan stew.

Quiet. I'll have no laughter

in the courtroom.

When the first wife returned, the second

wife immediately sued for annulment.

That left Mr. Mulligan, the husband, free

to remarry the first wife, Mrs. Mulligan...

...or the second wife, Mrs. Benson-Mulligan,

or rather Mulligan-Benson.

Don't stand there gawking.

What did he do?

He died suddenly of cirrhosis of the liver.

They never did find whether he slept

with his beard under or over the covers.

That'll cost you $25.

Just for a nice old joke?

You heard me, $25.

You can't do that, Your Honor.

I'm legally dead.

- It's not nice to take money from a corpse.

- That'll cost you $25 more.

That's 50 you owe me.

- You keeping track of this?

- Yes.

See that you do.

But she is legally dead.

You declared her legally dead yourself.

Your decision is on file.

- Did I do that?

- Yes, Your Honor.

I did? Well, I'm going

to declare her legally alive.

Then she can pay me that $50.

Will someone swear she's a live woman?

- I'll say she is, Your Honor.

- But you can't do that.

If she's alive, I'm guilty of bigamy.

- Can you make anything out of this case?

- Your Honor, it's all here.

I know it's there. I know the...

I know the brief.

"Mulligan stew."

Boy, that was a good one.

Who are you?

He was on the island.

He's not important to this case.

I'll decide what's important to the case.

What island?

The island where my wife stayed

for seven years, Your Honor.

- They were on an island for seven years?

- Yes, Your Honor.

- Not alone?

- Yes.

- Same island?

- Yes.

- Is that in the brief?

- No.

That should be in the brief.

That's the most interesting part of the case.

Yeah, not in the brief.

If Your Honor please...

I would like to leave before I explode.

I want to go home myself.

I'd like to tell my wife about this case.

She thinks all my cases are dull.

Well, it seems to me the only thing

I can do is annul the second marriage...

...so you can marry this woman.

I don't know what you're

going to do about him.

I haven't had time to think that out.

I wanna tell you what this man's done

from the moment he first married me.

- If he'd only come to me and told me...

- Bianca, I did come to you...

Where are you two going?

- If you please, Your Honor...

- Quiet! Let her tell this.

We started driving back,

and we drove all night! All night!

So he hasn't had time to think it over.

- Poor Nick.

- Sit down, Ellen.

Ellen, I'm the kind of a man

who finishes what he starts.

I'm going back to the island,

and I want you to come with me.

What do you say?

Thanks, Steve...

...but I haven't waited seven years

just to give up in three days.

I think you're just being loyal,

but I respect you for it.

- Steve, would you do something for me?

- Anything.

- I know I shouldn't ask you...

- What?

I've got to get him back.

Will you help me?

How?

Just repeat that invitation in front of Nick.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes