My Favorite Wife Page #5

- Good morning.

No, not Durkett, Burkett!

B, like...

All right, I'll hold on.

Oh, he's not there? Thanks.

- Good morning, Miss Rosenthal.

- Morning, sir.

Look, I want you to find a Stephen Burkett.

Drop everything else. It's very important.

I've called all the hotels.

Call the country clubs, the men's clubs,

the athletic clubs.

- The YMCA?

- No!

- I tried that. They've never heard of him.

- Yes, sir.

Mr. Burkett's room, please.

Oh, he's not?

Well, will you try paging him, please?

Paging Mr. Burkett!

Paging Mr. Burkett!

Paging Mr. Burkett!

Paging Mr. Burkett!

Paging Mr. Burkett!

- Mr. Burkett!

- Right here, son!

- Mr. Burkett. Call for you, sir.

- All right.

Hello?

Hello?

- Nobody on this line, son.

- I'm sorry, sir.

Thanks, but they'll probably call again.

Well, I feel it's about time for a dip.

- Yes, it is.

- No, it isn't.

- Ask that young man.

- All right.

Ask him.

- Young man, is that Johnny Weissmuller?

- No, I wish it were.

Are you sure that isn't the left shoe?

Well, if you...

- Are you sure you wear fours?

- Well, maybe I don't anymore.

I've been running around with my shoes off

for quite some time.

Sort of running wild.

There you are. How's that?

- What do you do at lunchtime?

- Have lunch.

Well, do you think you could skip it today

if I made it worth your while?

Yes.

Well, meet me out in front in 15 minutes.

Oh, no, no.

No, you don't understand.

It's...

Well, I'll explain the whole thing later.

Yes, Joe? What were you saying?

Yes, I know. I covered every...

Yeah. I'm sorry, Joe.

Yes, that's...

Well, no, no.

Here's how I interpret the clause...

Joe, I'll have to call you back.

A Miss Wagstaff to see you, sir.

- Oh, send her in.

- Yes, sir.

Hello!

I hope I'm not interrupting

anything important.

No, no, no.

Oh, Nick, I'm sorry about last night.

Really, I am.

You had a right to be suspicious.

- Do you have a little time to spare now?

- Why?

Well, I thought if you had a little time,

I'd like you to meet Mr. Burkett.

He's right outside.

Well, have him come in.

I thought we'd better get this thing settled

once and for all.

Stephen!

Stephen, this is Nick.

So this is Mr. Burkett?

This is a pleasure, Mr. Arden.

I've heard so much about you.

That's good. Now, sit down, Adam.

Thank you.

I haven't very much time.

- You were about to say something?

- Oh, yes.

Yes. I'm on my way to the Geographic

Society for a very important meeting.

I'm making a report of the flora and fauna

we found on the island.

I was greatly fascinated

by the vegetation on the island.

I'm afraid I spent so much time

on research that...

...well, I wasn't very good company

for your wife.

Eve said that you had some questions

you wanted to ask me, Mr. Arden.

Yes, he has.

Ask him. Ask him anything.

Well...

Now, while you were on the island...

- I'm awfully bad at names, Mr...?

- Burkett. Stephen J. Burkett.

Oh, yes, thank you.

Incidentally, I was awfully sorry

to hear about your accident.

- I beg your pardon?

- I was simply asking him about his accident.

Oh, my leg is fine now.

- Well, I'd better run along, Eve. Shall I?

- Must you?

The Geographic Society

insists on punctuality.

- Goodbye, Mr. Arden.

- Bye. I'm glad you came up.

- It was very enlightening.

- Thank you.

- Goodbye, Eve.

- Goodbye, Adam.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Satisfied?

- Yes.

Don't. I told you there was nothing to it.

Oh, well, you know.

Feel better now?

- How about some lunch?

- Love it.

Would you?

- Pacific Club?

- Good!

- Sherry?

- Yeah, please.

- Martini?

- Yes. Thank you.

I tell you, let's drink to...

...no more suspicions.

No more suspicions.

If married people can't be honest

with each other, who can?

- After all...

- Exactly.

What are you staring at, darling?

- What's the matter?

- I dropped my gloves.

- No, you didn't. They're on the table.

- No, I don't think so. I...

Hello, Eve. I thought I saw you down here.

- Page, bring my robe, will you, please?

- Yes, sir.

- I'm delighted to see you, Eve.

- Won't you present me?

Well...

My name's Arden. I didn't catch yours.

Burkett's the name.

Hasn't Eve told you...?

Burkett? Did you say Burkett?

- I said Burkett.

- Here you are.

- How odd.

- Thank you.

Well, Mr. Burkett, why don't

you have lunch with us?

- Delighted.

- Good.

- Waiter.

- The inner man is crying for nourishment.

We'll order now, waiter.

I recommend turkey la king.

It's very delicious.

Ellen?

Something funny?

I was just thinking of the little man

I dragged up to your office.

Turkey?

Turkey.

Does turkey appeal to you,

or do you confine yourself to raw meat?

Never touch it. I'm strictly a vegetarian.

Bring me a glass of carrot juice,

a milk shake and some carrots.

Yes, sir.

- Steak sandwich. We'll order dessert later.

- Yes, sir.

My husband hasn't slept since he heard

you were on the island with me.

He's arranged this meeting

to trap us into a confession.

- Just a moment!

- He's a very clever lawyer, so beware.

I'm gonna be very foxy myself.

I've got nothing to hide.

I know, but he has.

You see, Nick's married again.

- No!

- Yes!

That's wonderful! Congratulations,

that's the best news I ever had.

Why? What is it to you?

Can't you see? lt simplifies everything.

Now I can come right out and tell you.

Tell me what?

Well, I... I'd like to marry Eve.

Oh, you would, would you?

I've known your wife seven years, and

no man could ask for a better companion...

...a truer friend

or a more charming playmate.

Thank you. Isn't he impulsive?

Impulsive? He's full of carrots.

If it's of any importance to you,

I must, in all fairness, add...

...we've nothing to reproach ourselves for

during those seven years.

No regrets?

So just make up your mind, old man.

- I'll make up my mind...

- You're not allowed to have two wives.

I know, I know. Don't rush me.

What's your hurry?

Your carrots aren't here yet.

Let me ask you, how long were

you married before the island?

Four years. Why?

I was with her for seven.

So I claim her on the basis of seniority.

Got you there.

- You've got nothing but a lot of...

- If you gentlemen will excuse me...

...I think maybe you could thrash

this out better without me.

Don't get up.

It might surprise you to know that

I can get along without either one of you.

I'm perfectly able to take care of myself.

Hold your breath, Ellen!

Are you all right?

- Can I help you?

- No!

How long will it take to get those

dried and pressed?

Three or four hours at least, ma'am.

All right.

Three or four hours.

Wish there was some way

I could get some things from home.

Well, I'm hungry.

Think I'll order something.

What do you need? A hat and dress?

Room service, please.

Some shoes and stockings and...

Bring a couple of things.

I'll pick one out.

Room service, this is Mr. Burkett.

I'd like to order lunch for two

to be served in my room.

All right, I'll be right back.

And a plate of raw carrots. That's all.

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