My First Wedding Page #4

Honey, can you eat a bit slower?

Every-one's looking.

This is not your parents' house.

I'm almost finished.

I have to go, just for a bit.

I'll be back.

Where are you going?

-I'm going to tip the waiters.

-But they are already serving.

That's why I'll do it now.

I need to keep this up.

I'll be back.

Fede is coming with me.

Honey, can you tell me something

about what's going on?

My son wouldn't tell me anything.

We've made a little change

to keep things flowing.

-Every-thing's perfect.

-This is not a little change.

You can tell that to your

mother-in-law, but not to me.

Do you think I'm stupid?

-Are you sure it came this way?

-I don't know.

-It came down somewhere.

-But where were you?

I was up there.

So we need to throw down

the other ring to see where it falls.

-Are you kidding me?

-No. I'm not.

'

Fede, have you lost your mind?

When I lose a coin,

I throw down another...

and then I find both of them.

In that case, we should find

a similar object...

and analyze the path.

That's right, like the other ring.

No f***ing way.

No way.

Come on.

So?

Congratulations. Madam.

What happened to the groom?

Has he gone away?

Have you read

'Family Romances'?

I gave it to you. It's Freud's.

What happened at your table?

Nothing. There was

a conversation going on...

about Botox

and the 2012 Mayans Predictions.

I couldn't find anyone to talk to.

Since when do you want

someone to talk to?

I always thought you wanted

an audience for your monologues.

It's a professional distortion.

-What?

-You look beautiful.

Men are simple. They only want

to mark their territory.

It's probably animal instinct.

It's on their species.

Miguel ngel and I had

a short romance a long time ago.

We kept it secret, of course.

We met on a Philosophy class,

at University of Buenos Aires.

He was the teacher,

and I was the student.

Yes. that's so clich.

He taught me to listen

to jazz music...

to read Marcel Proust,

to hate Garca Marquez...

He was always a role model.

But in all those years... he never

told me I looked beautiful.

And he's telling me that today.

On my wedding day.

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

You don't look so bad yourself.

You only liked me because

I'm too handsome, right?

Will you introduce me

to your girlfriend?

Yes, I'm very interested

in your opinion about her.

I'm thinking about

dropping polygamy.

Does she know you speak

Latin even in your dreams?

That's why you dumped me.

I didn't dump you.

You have a terrible memory.

So, how did it fall?

I know where it fell down,

on the well.

-Really?

-Yes.

Give me my ring.

It fell down the well.

I mean my ring,

the one I just threw down.

It's...

Fede, I'm not in the mood

for bad jokes.

I'm sorry. The idea was not

to interfere with the path.

-Are you kidding me?

-No.

Fede, you couldn't be more idiot.

It's impossible.

What were you thinking?

I don't know.

I practice as much as I want...

but I rehearse two or three

times a week.

-Did you know that one, Leo?

-Yes.

But there's always

a new audience.

I'm sorry... what's your

girlfriend's name?

She's Lala, but she's not

precisely my girlfriend.

Leonora... do you think this is

a good time to take the pictures?

Yes, that's fine. But first,

I'll have to find my groom.

-Do you want me to go get him?

-No.

Just stay here saying

good things about me.

We'll do.

Do you know the joke

about the ambassador?

Remind me to kill you

as soon as this is over.

I'm sorry... Adri.

Keep an eye out.

Long live the bride and groom!

The hen is coming

to the hen-house.

Hello, Leo. How are you?

-Where is he?

-Who?

Oh! I haven't seen him.

What's that?

I think it's a rope.

It was there.

Take it out.

Someone might get killed.

I didn't put it there.

Have I told you that?

No, I didn't...

I only asked you to take it out.

Alright. Let me see

what can I do about it.

Now that I remember. Adri told

me he was going to his room.

To do what?

-What are you doing here?

-I don't really know.

If you want to be on the pictures,

get in.

OK.

Why did you say to her

that I was in my room?

I don't know.

This is way too stressful.

Come on... darling,

give me a smile! That's it.

-Have you found him?

-No.

I'm going to kill him.

He's in his room. I don't know why.

I'm talking to Miguel ngel

to get some info on Lala.

-Is that OK with you?

-Of course.

I think he believes you are

interested in him.

-That's so funny.

-Really? I don't think so.

Hello.

This is just a western habit,

a ritual.

Is the meat alright?

Yes.

Do you think I might have

a chance with her?

Ins, I'm currently thinking

about other things.

Let me think about it

and I'll let you know.

Please... can I go get my boyfriend?

-Yes, honey. I love you.

-Me too.

-Hello. Eleonora.

-Leonora.

I'm Jonathan, the DJ's brother.

He couldn't come.

Why?

"Happy marriage", he said.

Can you listen to a wedding march

that I've found?

Careful.

-You do have another one, right?

-Yes.

Don't you have

the classic version?

I thought you wanted to innovate.

You both look modern.

You haven't got married yet.

-I'm actually conservative.

-That's fine.

If you change your mind,

please let me know.

Leonora, I was looking for you.

The stand-up guy called me.

He wanted to know if he can

make Jewish jokes.

That depends on the joke.

He said something

about Schindler's List.

-No.

-Alright, I'll tell him.

Haven't we called that off?

Adrin said that if it was included.

we should put it on.

Then. he can make

all the jokes he wants.

In about 20 minutes, we should

begin the dance section.

I can't believe you are

doing this to me.

I'm sorry... baby,

but I had to take a sh*t.

I can't do it when

every-one's looking.

It probably was something I ate.

It could have been the salad.

You ate too fast.

It could be that,

and the anxiety and stuff.

What if we go to Las Vegas..

hire the Elvis Rabbi...

and throw this sh*t away?

Have you been smoking marijuana

with your grandpa?

No.

Isn't that romantic?

-What happened to your hair?

-I got it wet.

-Can I ask you something?

-Sure.

-Please be normal.

-I could do that.

-Please.

-Yes, baby.

And if we begin with

the honeymoon right now?

Have you called the

chauffeur-service?

-Yes, they are on their way.

-Let's go.

So, you people, the Jewish

or the Hebrew...

I never really knew how

you prefer to be called.

-Maybe Israelites.

-"Izrahelites."

They are all the same.

You can call us "Chosen People."

We can talk about

that some other time.

So you're on the year 5770?

Our calendar begins on Genesis..

with the creation of the world.

I'm sorry to disagree.

But nowadays everyone knows

that the Homo sapiens...

is at least 40,000 years.

Don't be stupid, Father.

Do you also believe

in Darwin's theories?

-In the Evolution of Species?

-Of course I do.

It's not that I agree with that..

but the Darwinians...

Can you please help me out?

The Darwinians say

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