My Year Without Sex Page #6

I believe in miracles.

Where you from, you sexy thing?

Oh!

Mr Burton, you can come through now.

I'm scared I've used up all my luck

winning that stupid money.

It can't change anything.

uIt is $25,000./u

It'd barely dint the mortgage.

We've got 38 nit combs.

What's Margaret doing with her share?

She gave hers to missionaries

in South America.

Well, maybe we should give ours away.

You know, to the poor kids in Africa.

I don't want to give it to Africa...

when there are people far richer having...

facials and we've got a big fat mortgage.

And I'd still go to hell.

Because I don't believe in God.

Have no faith.

No belief.

Nothing.

- Neither do I.

- Well, maybe you don't need anything.

No, it's not that.

It's just that...

It's just that God

isn't my explanation for stuff.

Nerve-wracking, isn't it?

I just hope I fit in the machine.

Well, that's all you can do, isn't it?

Yep.

Hope.

Guess what?

I was just upstairs.

Guess who they've made redundant?

Me?

Howard!

And guess who they asked to take over

his job as supervisor?

Me.

Dad!

Hey, how are you?

Have you had a good day?

Yep.

How are you, Chloe?

Good.

Bloody traffic. Can I use your phone?

Oh, mate. Are you okay?

We did it.

We're in the Finals.

I wasn't even wearing my lucky beanie.

Or my socks.

Hello?

I'm sorry, I lost my phone.

I'm just picking up the kids now.

Are you still at the doctor's?

Do you want to hear

the good news or the good news?

He said that apart from my

emotional retardation, everything is fine.

I wouldn't call it emotional retardation.

No. What would you call it?

Gifted?

You are.

Emotionally gifted.

Shall I pick you up?

Um... No, no, no. I'm on the bus.

I'll see you when I get home. Okay?

- Bye.

- Bye. Love you.

I love you...

For an event champagne

you can pay thousands.

The best one we have here

is this Jacquesson, which is $330.

Wooo!

Is it three times better than that one?

No. They go up

by smaller and smaller degrees.

And sometimes not at all.

But um...

it's the emotion you're buying.

The declaration.

Um...

I... take that one.

$30. Right.

Oh...

Bugger, there goes my surprise.

Sorry.

Happy early birthday.

And,

I got you a cow in Sri Lanka,

so you'd have two.

Where are the kids?

They're at Greg's.

He's bought them some new game.

I'm happy.

I know, it's good, isn't it?

I mean I've still got my yellow card,

but I'm still in the game.

For my next wife,

I'd choose you again.

Do you know,

more copies of the Ikea catalogue

are distributed each year than the bible?

That makes it

the world's number one book.

First control Ikea,

the universe will follow.

Go, Doggies.

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