Mystery Team Page #2

The original and best.

I'm Brianna. I have a mystery

for you to solve.

Here's a dime.

What can we do for you, ma'am?

Just fill out this form

real quick.

Mark the box by

the appropriate mystery.

There's lost kitten,

hopscotch dispute,

sack lunch fraud.

Kids your age

are our best customers

and also guilty

of nearly 100%

of the cases we solve.

Whatever it is,

we can handle it.

Can you find out

who killed my parents?

They got killed last night.

They took Mommy's ring.

It was really old and special

because it was Grandma's.

I'm going to go

have a word

with my two partners.

Is that okay?

[laughing]

Okay.

Oh, my geez.

I know.

Who's going to tell her

we can't help her?

What? What are you

talking about?

This is exactly what we

wanted-- a real case.

This isn't a real case,

okay?

This is just

some sad little kid.

And besides, the Mystery doesn't solve murders.

Are you kidding?

What does it say

on our sign?

We'll also work

for fruit roll-ups.

The other sign.

No case too hard,

no case too tough.

But that's not--

What's harder and tougher

than a murder?

Then people will know

we're legitimate.

What are we going

to do, huh?

Just walk into

the police station

and tell them

we're taking the case?

They'll just laugh at us.

That's why we won't

tell the police.

Oh, no. Now you're starting

to sound like Dad.

You guys are worse

than the principal.

Everyone's saying

that we can't do this.

Well, I say we can.

Let's show them

that we're detectives--

grown-up detectives

solving grown-up mysteries.

Mystery Team?

Mystery Team.

Mystery Team.

[Young woman]

Brianna!

Jesus, Brianna.

I told you not to wander

away from me like that.

I've been looking for you

for, like, 20 minutes.

I'm sorry. Can we help you?

I'm sorry

if she bothered you.

You cannot go off the street

like that, okay?

This is my sister

Kelly.

That's enough.

I'm sorry about what happened.

If you need a place to stay,

we keep an extra sleeping bad

under the stand

in case of emergencies.

We're staying with a work

friend of my dad's

until Child Services

figures out

what to do with us.

Yeah, it's, uh,

probably better.

It's a big house

on the hill.

Come on.

Actually, um,

we'd like to take

a statement.

What?

Oh, uh, I'm sorry.

We're the Mystery Team.

We solve mysteries,

and your sister,

um, hired us

to find out who...

killed.

Listen,

she's 8 years old.

She thinks Mommy and Daddy

are on a long vacation

in heaven, okay?

So just let it go.

But we can help.

We're real detectives.

No, thanks.

We can get your ring back.

Yay!

Baby, you have to forget

about the ring, okay?

It's special.

It's not special.

The only thing I'm worried

about right now is you.

We can get your ring back.

I promise.

Big house up on a hill.

Maybe they're staying

at that place

up on Cedar Street?

Yeah, it's great.

I mean, it's not great

that her parents died.

It's great for the case

that she lives so close

and that she sleeps...

right there.

Okay. Let's show them what

the old Mystery Team can do.

The old Mystery never solved a murder.

What about the time

that frog got run over?

That's not the same thing.

Yes, it is.

A crime is a crime,

from the tiniest marble

that rolls down a storm drain

to an autographed baseball

that rolls down a storm drain.

Now who's doing this?

Because I'm in.

I'm in.

To the storm drain.

No, Charlie.

No.

Okay.

Now remember,

this is murder,

so we're looking

at older suspects--

grades 4 through 6--

kids who have been

lost in the system.

Maybe it's Jimmy Miller.

He's been hot ever since

the "two milks at lunch"

incident.

My money's

on Joey Cartwright.

He's got nothing

to lose.

Wrote "penis"

on his arm

in permanent ink.

Fellas, I think

we found our guy.

He's a little

out of our age range,

but in all of Oakdale,

there's only one fiend

dastardly enough for murder.

[all]

Old Man McGinty.

He still live in that

spooky old house

on Sycamore Street?

Ha ha ha!

Does water boil

to 100 degrees Celsius?

It does.

Good.

Then he lives there,

then.

[shouting]

Why'd you do it,

McGint--

Well, it looks like crankiness

runs in the McGinty family.

Yeah. We can definitely

rule out Old Man McGinty

as a suspect.

Yeah. He couldn't

murder anyone.

He's practically

a corpse himself.

a corpse himself.

Practically

I think we're going

to have to rule out

all the usual suspects.

Even Billy Meyers.

What?

I know.

he punched a dog

in the face.

But murder is an entirely

different game.

Yeah. Besides,

he couldn't murder anyone.

He's practically

a corpse himself.

Yeah, we got it, Charlie.

Okay, okay.

Tomorrow

we hit the ground running,

take this on

like real detectives.

Oh, are we going to visit

the scene of the crime?

Better.

Ha ha ha!

Clues.

Thank you for your

cooperation.

"The double homicide

of Karen and Barton Peters

"has left the Oakdale Police

baffled.

"At approximately 5:45 a.m.,

"the couple was shot

fatally in their home

"at 42 Maple Hill Road.

"A vehicle

was heard speeding off.

"The Chief of Police

said in a statement

"all preliminary signs

indicate

"that this was

a robbery attempt.

"Peters moved to Oakdale

with his family one week ago

"to represent the Holden

& Charles Corporation

in negotiations regarding

the ongoing lumber strike."

This doesn't give us

any names.

How are we supposed

to find suspects?

Want me to go down

to the playground?

Bust a few heads?

No, no, no, no, no.

We got to do this by the book.

Let's get a statement

from Brianna.

She might know something.

[Brianna]

I'll get it, Mrs. Finney.

The Mystery Team.

Can we come in, Brianna?

We have a few questions

we'd like to ask.

Okay, Brianna, we're

going to do something

called good cop-bad cop.

It's like a game.

I'm going to pretend

to be mean,

but it's just part

of the game, okay?

Wipe that smile off your face.

You think this is a game?

I-- Oh. No, no, no, no, no.

I'm just pretending, remember?

Okay, now Duncan's

going to come in,

and he's going to be

the good cop.

That'll be fun, right? Okay.

My partner.

The guy's an animal,

right?

You doing okay?

Can I get you anything?

Apple juice?

You know, I can

make this real easy.

All right, the gloves

are coming off.

[giggling]

Brianna?

What the hell

are you guys doing?

Are these friends

of yours, Kelly?

No. Better.

We're the Mystery Team.

My name's Jason,

the master of disguise.

I'm Duncan, the boy genius.

And I'm Charlie,

the strongest kid in town.

Ow!

Ohh!

What is wrong with you?

Sorry. Sorry.

They're my friends.

Oh, boy.

Let's clean you up.

Honey, get

some paper towels.

Why are you here?

Now just relax, okay?

We were just shaking

your sister down--

Out. Now.

Hey.

Is that your book?

Yeah. Great

detective work.

Now can you leave?

21st Century Detectives?

This is a book

about being a detective.

[burp]

[coughing]

Someone

stole that guy's face.

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