Nanny McPhee Returns Page #2
ln fact, it's the
British Museum of Poo.
Have you gone
completely insane,
Blenkinsop?
to a place like this.
Take me home.
(WlNDOW SQUEAKlNG)
(SCREAMlNG)
You see? There are savages.
Oh, put a sock in it, Ceels.
We've got no choice.
Take me home,
right now!
And you know why
we've got no choice, too,
so let's just stop pretending
we're here because of bombs.
CELlA:
They're probablycannibals.
(EXCLAlMS lN DlSGUST)
Did you see that
thing at the window?
Greetings,
O covered-in-poo people.
Do you speak English?
You're early.
Yes, poo-man,
we have come from far away.
Far, from the land of
soap and indoor toilets.
ls that a Fry's chocolate bar
with cinder-crunch topping?
Yes, it is.
Would you like some?
Pity,
there's none left.
BLENKlNSOP:
Come on,Miss Celia.
CELlA:
Please, Blenkinsop!That's rotten.
CYRlL:
That's life.CELlA:
l'll tell Mummy!Now, don't be like that,
Miss Celia.
Let go!
Let go of the drinks
cabinet, Miss Celia!
No!
Look here, mister.
l think you'd better
take these two great
perfumed townies
back where they belong.
l just want to go home!
(EXCLAlMlNG)
CELlA:
This place is awful.lt's an awful place.
(GlGGLlNG)
(EXCLAlMlNG lN HORROR)
My shoes!
l refuse to stay
in this cesspit.
l'd rather be bombed.
Promise me you'll tell Mummy
how awful it is here.
Please, Blenkinsop,
she's got to come
get me tomorrow.
Promise me!
You've only been
here for five minutes,
and look at you.
And you're just
a chauffeur.
Master Cyril,
if you'd be so kind,
just hold your arms out
for Miss Celia's new clothes.
Promise me!
l'll talk to your mother,
Miss Celia, l promise.
But for now,
you'll have to stay here.
They can't stay here.
They're rude.
CYRlL:
That's rich,coming from someone who
clearly doesn't even know
how to wipe his own bottom.
NORMAN:
Come here, you.What?
CELlA:
Stop! My clothes.My beautiful new clothes.
(GASPlNG)
They're all in the mud.
How dare you!
You're trampling them.
l should have enlisted.
CELlA:
You wait untill tell my mother.
(GASPS)
My beautiful clothes.
They're ruined.
(SCREAMlNG)
You monsters,
l'll kill you for this!
Well, that's me off,
Mrs. Docherty.
l've just enough time
to get home and
finish tidying
before the cousins
arrive tomorrow.
Oh, that's nice, dear.
All my cousins are dead.
Good night.
Good night.
Give my love
to Mr. Docherty.
l will.
There's that finished, then.
What?
l've just put away
the syrup.
What? Where?
lt's all done and dusted.
There's absolutely
nothing to worry about.
Oh, have a little faith,
why don't you?
(HUMMlNG)
(DRAWER RUMBLlNG)
(SYRUP BUBBLlNG)
Oh.
''Have a little faith,''
she says.
''Nothing to worry about,''
she says. Oh, no, no,
nothing at all.
Children at each
other's throats,
tractor about to
be repossessed,
Phil trying to
sell the farm out
from under us,
guests coming in 24 hours,
my only good coat, ruined,
and 1 7 drawers
full of syrup!
WOMAN 1 :
The person you needis Nanny McPhee.
(CAWlNG)
Oh.
MAN 1 :
The person you needis Nanny McPhee.
Nanny McWho?
MAN 2:
(SlNGlNG)Nanny McPhee
MAN 3:
Nanny McPheeMAN 4:
Nanny McPhee(GASPS)
CHlLD:
The person you needis Nanny McPhee.
MAN 1 :
The person you need...WOMAN 2:
ls Nanny McPhee.WOMAN 3:
The person you need...
MAN 2:
ls Nanny McPhee.ALL:
(CHANTlNG)The person you need
is Nanny McPhee.
The person you need
is Nanny McPhee.
The person you need
is Nanny McPhee.
The person you need
is Nanny McPhee.
The person you need
is Nanny McPhee.
The person you need
is Nanny McPhee.
The person you need
is Nanny McPhee.
The person you need
is Nanny McPhee.
The person you need,
the person you need...
(ECHOlNG) The person you need,
the person you need,
the person you need...
CHlLD:
ls Nanny McPhee.Ugh. What a surprise.
Not only do they
behave like animals,
they live like animals.
l'm covered in poo.
CYRlL:
Good news.You'll fit right in.
There's bugger-all
to eat in here,
except this.
NORMAN:
No!Dad's jam!
Put the jam down.
(SCOFFS)
lt's only jam.
ln case you hadn't noticed,
there's a war on.
We saved our sugar
coupons for months
to make that jam.
You touch it,
and l'll mash you.
Whoops.
Touched it.
l'm going to wake up
and this will all
be a nasty dream.
l'm going to wake up,
and l'll be in
Harrods with Mummy.
The shoe department.
My maid tells me
they have arrived,
so Mummy and l have
come to collect them.
Would you go and
fetch them for me?
l'm going to wake up,
and there'll be
some pink patent pumps.
Ceels, catch.
CELlA:
Mummy'salready ordered
a beautiful pair in mauve
with a matching cloak,
and l gather they
will be here today.
That's it.
They die.
(EXCLAlMlNG)
NORMAN:
Catch them!(SCREAMlNG)
Come back!
WOMAN:
(WHlSPERlNG)The person you need
is Nanny McPhee.
MAN:
(WHlSPERlNG)The person you need
is Nanny McPhee.
WOMAN:
(WHlSPERlNG)The person you need
is Nanny McPhee.
Nanny McPhee.
Nanny McPhee.
(CREAKlNG)
(CAWlNG)
(CREAKlNG)
(SCREAMlNG) No!
Come here, you coward.
What? What? Norman. Cyril.
(CHOKlNG) Hello,
Aunt lsabel.
Hello, dear.
NORMAN:
Come back here,you big.. .
lSABEL:
How's your mother?Death, death and hurting!
You lace-covered.. .
CYRlL:
Don't you callme names, you peasant.
Celia, is that you?
You've ruined my clothes,
so l'm going to
ruin your hair!
What a lovely frock.
(BANGlNG ON DOOR)
Oh! What now?
l'm coming. l'm coming.
(THUNDER CLAPPlNG)
lsabel.
Not now, Phil.
l was wondering,
when you say, ''No,''
do you really mean no?
Now is not a good time.
l could come
back in 10 minutes.
Five, three, two?
l think l should
boil you all an egg.
(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)
For goodness' sake,
Phil, go away!
l.. . Go.. .
(THUNDER CLAPPlNG)
Good evening,
Mrs. Green.
l am Nanny McPhee.
Oh, you're it?
l mean, her? l mean.. .
Who are you?
l am Nanny McPhee.
Small ''C,'' big ''P.' '
Right, right.
Thing is, l haven't
hired a nanny.
l don't need a nanny.
l have never had a nanny
because l don't want a nanny.
l am an Army nanny,
Mrs. Green.
l have been deployed.
No, no, no, no.
There must be
some mistake.
Everything's under
control here.
Get away from me,
you oik from hell.
That's Cyril.
He's not one of mine.
He's their cousin.
Come back here,
you parasitic poshie!
And that's Norman.
Get your filthy
hands off me.
He is mine.
They've just met.
Horrible, horrible.
They're getting
to know each other
through play.
VlNCENT:
Kill the towniesand eat their heads!
Oh, it's the war.
lt's not a very
good influence.
lndeed.
May l come in?
Must you? l mean, yes.
Yes, of course, you must.
Tea?
Perhaps later.
Let me introduce myself
to the children.
No, wait.
Why don't you
put the kettle on?
l shan't be a moment.
(CHlLDREN SHOUTlNG)
MEGSlE:
You can't stop me.CELlA:
Let go! (SHOUTS)
0 fans
Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"Nanny McPhee Returns" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/nanny_mcphee_returns_14477>.
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