Nasty Baby Page #5

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There's nothing to enjoy.

Come on, don't lie.

You like this idea.

This is gonna be

crazy. Is he putting it inside?

One, two...

Oh, my God.

What the f***!

Hell, no!

Oh, my gosh. That's a kid.

There's a kid inside.

Oh, my God.

Freddy...

All of you, shut up!

There's a f***ing kid.

That is not cool.

What the hell did you do?

Oh, my God!

This is f***ed up.

Yeah, it's kind

of not that funny.

No, it's not funny.

I'm leaving.

I don't like this.

Wait. Are you

really leaving?

I don't wanna hear.

I don't like this.

Good night.

Guys come on,

let's get out of here.

- Hey, guys. What's up?

- - Hey.

- Hey, man.

- How was it?

Not so good.

Why were you throwing

that stink bomb that...

Hey, guys. You can stay.

Like, for real, stay.

We're gonna go to bed,

but just stay. Hang out.

- No, no, no.

- No, for real.

- I mean it. I mean it.

- - Okay.

- Can you sing something...

- Uh, sure.

Here now, like this.

- F***ed it up.

- I f***ed it up.

Well, you start it.

Do you know how to start it?

No, I haven't

done it in years...

Oh, yes. Yeah. I can

do that. I can get that.

Babe, what are you doing?

Hey, come back!

- What the f*** is your problem!

- Hey! Back off!

Go away!

- Uh-huh.

- Hey!

What the f*** is your problem?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What's going on?

He stopped me from

cleaning the streets.

No, he harassed my friend

sexually last night.

- Argh!

- Wait, wait, wait.

What're you talking about, sexually harassed?

I just saw him with the leaf blower.

What is he sexually harassing?

He harassed my friend

last night.

- I didn't harass nobody!

- - Yes, you did.

Bishop, take a minute.

Take a minute. You know me.

Take a minute, take a minute.

Chill out, chill out.

What's going on?

This man sexually harassed

our friend last night.

She was walking to our

apartment, and he grabbed her.

- Negro!

- Okay, Bishop. Bishop.

Okay, now take a minute, all right?

Hold on. Hold on for a sec.

What else is going on?

Why did you take the leaf blower from him?

The leaf blowing is,

like, every morning.

I call 3-1-1. It's not

legal before 8:
00 a.m.

Nobody cares about that. It's noise.

He's assaulting people on the street.

- Okay...

- Those f***ing b*tches

threw a f***ing bomb

in my apartment!

- Oh, yes, you f***ing did!

- - Terrorists!

- Did you hear me?

- Osama bin Laden!

Yes, I did hear you

ma'am. Calm down.

It's not a bomb. It was a stink bomb.

It's a joke thing.

Okay, first of all,

I don't wanna hear anymore about bombs.

I don't want you to be blowing their sleep,

Lord Bishop.

Now, take a walk. Go now.

Go down the street. Go on.

Take your girlfriend with you.

- There's a f***ing kid in there.

- I know that. Go on with him.

- That's okay for him to get in your face like that?

- No, it's not.

- You watch him.

- You all know he's not dealing

- with the whole deck, right?

- You ought to arrest him.

- He just threatened you with...

- Listen, he's... he's crazy.

Everybody knows

he's crazy, right?

So even if you try to press

charges, all they're gonna do

is put him in some crazy house, and they're

gonna let him out in a couple of days.

But listen to me. That house

where he's staying at

is gonna be sold

in a few days, all right?

And he's gonna be out of here.

And there's nothing you can do about it,

'cause his mom is a judge.

- What's this...

- Oh, Judge Judy.

- We don't need any sarcasm.

- Yeah, right.

So your mommy's a judge,

and then you can be a criminal?

Okay, sir. I'm just

bringing up a point.

He's up on De Kalb

all the time attacking people.

- This happens every week.

- It's all the time.

Something needs to be done. One thing is

that he's crazy. He's crazy, put him in a...

He's gonna be okay.

I'm gonna talk to him.

- Yeah, thank you.

- - Thank you, officer.

I'd say every five hours.

- Five hours?

- Yeah, pour a little bit.

The cactus as well? Like,

every plant is the same one?

No, the cactus, you don't need

to do anything to the cactus.

Chino, the second one

is "C," right? "C"?

Ah, the second one, yeah.

- And then you go to E minor.

- Okay.

Come on!

So what is this again?

You don't have

to worry about that.

Do me a favor.

When you get about 50 miles out,

give me a call to tell me

everything's all right.

- You're not having any problems.

- I will. Okay.

- All right.

- See you.

- Safe journey to all of you.

- Bye.

- Have a good time.

- - Thanks for the ride, Richard.

My ex-boyfriend,

like he wanted to go to my country house

and they wouldn't allow me because

the neighbors were not cool with it.

- Are you serious?

- Yeah.

And then I got into a huge

fight and then I'm like,

"Listen, when you think of me and my

boyfriend, you just go like this."

Cock, ass hole.

Cock, ass hole.

And my Mom said,

"Oh, my God. He knows."

- You said that to your Mom?

- Yeah.

I went like this

in front to of her.

Your Mom did not say he knows.

No, she did not say he knows,

but... They were amused.

He knows.

Okay, I don't want you guys

to think this is weird.

But I brought my kit with me.

Because I'm ovulating today.

- You're ovulating again?

- Yes.

Not again. You always say again

like I'm ovulating everyday.

You're like

a chicken or something.

Can I listen to some music?

- Yeah, play that song.

- This is the song that I'm learning.

Hi, mommy.

How are you?

I'm fine.

Hey, everybody!

They're here.

Oh, my gosh.

They're here.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Jeremiah.

- Hi, hi. Polly. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Hello!

Good to see you.

Oh, Jeremiah. How are you?

Good to see you, man.

- Good to see you again.

- Good to see you.

Oh, my God. Look at you.

- Baby, you're good?

- Yeah.

This is Freddy.

It's a pleasure. Freddy.

Nice to meet you, finally.

Oh, this looks great.

- Oops! Sorry. I'm sorry.

- That's good.

There. Just put the potatoes

right here, sweetie.

Aw.

Then we all ran because we

didn't want to be beaten.

And then we hid in the woods and then

we actually got lost in the woods.

Yeah and I went crazy.

Are you still close with your cousins?

You still talk to them?

Yeah, I talked to Howard.

My cousin's like

one of my best friends ever.

And if the timing of this works out,

it would be so nice to have...

Because you're due

very soon, you know.

They could grow up together. They'll

be the same age. It would be so nice.

- Yeah.

- I like that idea.

- You know.

- Well, I mean you guys are in New York,

so it's gonna be a little bit hard to,

like get 'em together.

- Yeah, but...

- It wouldn't be that hard.

We could come. I have cousins that

don't live right there. We make time.

Yeah, we can come here.

How often do you come, Mo?

Come on.

I'm here now.

I come often here.

If I had a kid and you had a kid,

we would come.

We would make the trip.

If I had a kid? I'm having this kid.

Mine is not a mystery.

Okay, if I had a kid.

- Mine is coming.

- Our children will be playing. It sounds so nice.

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