Nasty Baby Page #4

---

Come on, come forward.

Hello, mama.

How'd it go?

I dumped it.

You guys can have

the rest for dessert.

You dumped it out? What do

you mean? You didn't do it?

No, I didn't.

What's the point?

It's not gonna work.

We've used yours,

like, five times.

I don't think you guys

understand, like...

It's not the putting it in,

it's the disappointment every month.

Like, getting the rejection,

saying that it's negative

every f***ing month.

It's, like, I just...

I don't know.

I came here tonight,

and I thought

this was gonna work.

And your sperm tested so well,

and I was so excited.

And I was like, "Okay, finally,

we're f***ing doing it."

It's not a decision

to be made lightly.

- I know. Well, then...

- You know, it's my life too.

It affects my life too.

Yours isn't working.

I'm sorry, it's just not.

No, that I know.

And it's not just like, "Oh,

let's keep trying. Oh, let's keep trying."

This is... I don't have,

like, a lot of time.

- I understand, Polly...

- No, you don't understand.

- No, I do. I'm sorry.

- No, you don't, Freddy.

- Actually, you don't.

- Hey.

All right, I'm sorry.

I'm just gonna go.

Good night.

Polly, Polly.

Polly.

You like that lamp, right?

Um, yeah. Excuse me.

No. You threw

it out, Polly.

Oh, no, I didn't...

I didn't throw it out.

I just couldn't carry it...

I picked it up off the street.

Don't lie.

No need to lie.

Sorry.

- Why you gonna lie, Polly?

- Calm down, please. I'm just...

- You're making me feel uncomfortable.

- You're a pretty girl, Polly.

Why you be hanging out

with them faggots?

- Master Bishop.

- Oh, here comes one now.

Why do you keep invading

this young lady's space?

- Shut up, you old f*ggot.

- - Stop it.

You're always

crossing boundaries.

- The old-school f*ggot.

- People have boundaries.

Run along. Bye-bye.

Good night, Polly.

- Bye.

- Good night.

I'm sorry about that.

He's harmless,

but he's a pain in the ass.

Are you okay?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

How... how's the baby

thing coming along?

- Huh?

- Good. Yeah, it's good.

It's wonderful, wonderful

that they're gonna have a baby,

- Thank you.

- and you'll make it happen.

In my day, we were,

like, fairies or pansies.

We couldn't even...

Nobody would like a pansy

- to have a baby...

- I have to go. I'm sorry.

- I have to go. Thank you, though.

- I understand.

Scoot safely.

What the f***.

Babe.

What are you doing?

Don't watch that.

I'm sorry.

This is disgusting.

This is not good for you.

It's not good for me at all.

- It's not healthy, not healthy.

- I know, I know.

Dude, I promise,

like, I'm over it.

I'd much rather a little Mo,

than a little Freddy.

Dude, look at that.

Come on.

F*** that.

Whatever it is,

it won't be that.

Dude, this motherf***er.

I'm gonna call 3-1-1.

Like, it's enough. Honestly.

- You can try.

- Okay.

Hello, and thank you for

calling 3-1-1 in New York City.

We're here to help.

If this is an emergency,

please hang up,

and dial 9-1-1.

Today...

- Hey, just come to bed.

- Yeah.

...and parking meter rule

are in effect.

Tomorrow. Tuesday.

Alternate side parking and

parking meter rule are in effect.

It's Sula.

I can't.

- No, I'm just not in the mood.

- You had it there for a second.

- You just, like...

- The setup is f***ing weird.

And Sula, like, look.

- Just, Sula...

- Oh.

- Let's call it a day.

- Okay.

Find out those prices in Bushwick.

I don't want anything too expensive.

Uh-huh. I'll call the guy.

These are so cute. It doesn't look

at all like you anymore though.

Thank you. What is that

supposed to mean?

Oh, I didn't mean it like that.

I mean, you're cute in a different way now.

Hey.

- Hello!

- Hello, guys.

- Hey!

- - Hey.

Happy birthday!

- Oh, yeah.

- Whose birthday party?

It's my birthday

party. Mwah!

- Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

- Hey, hey, hey.

- Did you see that?

- Sweetest thing.

- You see that?

I did see that.

Read the inscription.

"Do you feel

the cake coming at you?"

Dude, come. Please come.

Feel it coming at you.

It's so weird. It was an accident.

It's not that I planned it.

- You see it?

- Oh, yeah, yeah

Polly.

Hey, Polly.

Polly, Polly.

Hey, let me help you.

- No, I don't need any help.

- I can give you some help.

- I don't need any help.

- You know, we friends, Polly.

- I can help you. Let me get it.

- No, we're not friends.

- I got it, I got it.

- I don't... What're you doing?

- Get the f*** off me!

- Oh, come on, Polly.

- I'm trying to help.

- What are you doing!

- I'm trying to help you.

- Get the f*** away from me!

- What is wrong with you!

- I was helping.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah.

- Do you need anything?

- No, I'm okay. Thanks.

F***.

- Let it go.

- Chino, come with me.

- We're gonna go find him.

- No, what? Why?

He's probably

somewhere, two blocks away,

parking cars, harassing

other women. Like, f*** that.

- Can I stay?

- No, Chino, come on.

F***ing get up.

Come with me.

- I think that's not smart...

- Yeah.

It's not... I'm not gonna

get into a fistfight.

- All right. Okay.

- I'm just gonna go see...

Yeah, I'm gonna come too.

We'll go... We'll go get him.

There's more people there.

What the f***?

- They probably live there.

- He's always by himself.

Hey. Hello?

- Hi. Good night.

- What you want?

- Is The Bishop here?

- What!

Is The Bishop here?

- The Bishop?

- No! Who are you?

Oh, I'm a neighbor.

I've never seen you around here.

- Get the f*** out of here.

- Whoa. Lady, calm down.

Do you live here?

Is he here?

- I'm here. Yeah. No.

- He did something really wrong.

I could call the police,

but instead if I could talk to him...

- No police!

- - No police. Yes.

- So, can you please call him?

- Yeah.

- Is he here?

- Yeah, yeah.

I'll call him.

Get the f*** out of here.

- Is he here or not?

- No, he's not here! Go!

- Freddy, let's go.

- Oh, my God.

There are more people.

They're staring at us.

Whoo!

- Oh, good job.

- What is that?

- What the hell?

- Oh!

No, this is a f***ing festival.

It's the best... Ugh!

Stink bombs.

Yeah!

Where the f***

did you get this from?

He's like,

"I have 25 cents."

- I'll get a stink bomb.

- What do I get?

Guys, make sure

you use the napkins.

Make sure you use the napkins.

No, because

it'll get everywhere.

On the hand.

Yeah, coming out of his belly.

- It's like a horse...

- You don't want...

No, no, no. Don't light that.

Don't light that.

Don't smoke.

It's bad for your sperm.

- Polly, give him a break.

- It's my birthday.

- Is it bad for your sperm?

- Yeah, it is, but maybe tomorrow.

It's my sperm's birthday too.

A knight.

Okay...

Oh, dude!

Why don't we go throw the stink

bombs to the Bishop's eden.

Stop that.

Why don't we go throw the stink

bombs to The Bishop's place?

Come on.

Mo, you into it?

I'll totally go.

This is revenge.

We're doing this for you.

- For real.

- Shh. Shut up.

F***.

- Shh!

- Come on.

Let's enjoy the revenge.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes