National Lampoon Presents Dorm Daze Page #8

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- That's Dominique the prostitute!

- Me student! They crazy attacking me!

- It seems she's on drugs.

- Cuff her!

- What's going on?

- They're arresting Styles's prostitute.

- Did Dominique ever arrive?

- That's her.

Wait, let me get this straight.

There are two Dominiques?

But one's the whore,

and one's just a foreigner.

We should get going, or we'll miss

our flight to North Dakota.

Well, it was really nice meeting you.

Dominique, was it?

Have a nice time

in North Dakota.

I just have a few more things to pack.

I think you'll like North Dakota.

I smell smoke.

- Foosball was smoking.

- He bought the tree.

- You b*tches!

- This is a no-smoking building.

Marla and Lynne have

an eight-ball of coke in their room.

- It's hers!

- Whore!

- Stop it!

- What?

They're going back in the dorm.

Obviously, the money's still there.

- Oh, yeah.

- So we should go!

I am Dominique from France,

foreign exchange student!

It looks good to me.

But if you're the student--

Then who are you?!

There she is!

Where do you think

you're going, babycakes?

Finally we meet.

I'm Wang.

Who actually called us?

Where's this hostage situation?

The cops!

- Lorenzo Rosatti!

- Let go of the girl!

Take that!

Booker, I think I smell smoke!

Seriously! Do you smell that?

- Finally we have the Black Hand!

- You! Down here!

Cuff all three of them right here.

- Who are you?

- Gerri Farber.

No, that's just a cover.

She's Britney the Snake.

I am not going down alone!

- Does anybody know this girl?

- Yes. Gerri.

- Give me the gun.

- It's really her!

I've seen her before, Rosatti.

That ain't Britney.

- She's lying!

- Shut up, Rosatti.

Okay, now I smell

something burning.

- They were supposed to fix this.

- Do you know how to turn that off?

I think so.

All right. You three stay put.

Everybody else, back to your rooms.

- I can--

- You can explain.

- I'm really sorry. It's just that--

- I believe you.

God, I love you.

I love you, too, baby.

- My grandmother was a b*tch, anyway.

- Yeah, she was.

- Wanna go find that money?

- Really?

There you are.

I got your bag back.

That's not the right bag.

Can I have my glasses back?

I have...

a confession to make.

I'm not gay.

I didn't write

that poem for Foosball.

I wrote that poem for you.

You did?

There's a shitload of money in here.

Keep it together.

Sorry. Please.

- You don't need to look over there.

- Forget it.

Screw it. We don't want your stupid,

ugly kids at our university, anyway.

This place is a madhouse.

What a day.

We got Lorenzo Rosatti--

"the Black Hand," a prostitute,

and a couple of kids

with a bunch of coke.

I'm not so sure that's a good idea.

I don't know.

Totally! After we give

Gerri some for her tuition,

we can go to the Bahamas

and live like kings.

I don't know if we'll have

enough money to do that.

All right,

then we'll go to Vegas.

We'll go away and have the best

Christmas break ever...together.

- I'm feeling kind of lucky.

- Yeah, so am l.

Booker, thank God!

I don't even want to know.

I've had some time

to think about it...

and I'm really sorry

for the way I've been acting.

In fact,

I have a confession to make.

I'm a virgin, too.

I know. I talk really big

'cause I can't find a girlfriend.

And I guess I ordered

the whore for myself,

but I was too embarrassed

to admit it.

But I realize now

that it's okay to be a virgin, Booker.

It's okay. We don't have

anything to be ashamed of.

Speak for yourself, loser.

I just lost my virginity.

In fact, I only came back

to get some Gatorade.

I'm gonna go have

a bunch more sex now.

See you tomorrow, Styles.

You're not really

gonna leave me here, are you?

I don't deserve this, Booker!

Yes, I do.

I'm such a jerk!

I mean, I don't do unto others

as they would want it--

I don't even know what it is,

but I don't do it.

My family has a lot planned

for us to do over the break.

Tell me about your family.

Need bathroom.

It's right over there.

Sorry.

Somehow I got your phone,

and it's campus security

about something.

Thanks.

Nice robe.

Hello?

Yeah, this is Wang.

What? That's impossible.

She's here with me!

I don't know who that is,

because I'm standing here with a girl

who was mugged

on her way to see you.

They took all her things.

Even her passport.

We have confirmed her identity.

She is your foreign exchange student.

So can you please come

open the door and let us in?

I'll come right down.

Then who the hell is...

- Yeah, Lorenzo double-crossed me.

- He got away?

I followed him and this girl

to her dormitory on campus.

Can anyone ID you?

No. This dumb foreigner arrived,

which gave me the perfect cover.

This whole thing's falling apart.

- Sh*t.

- Did you get the money?

I had it in my hands,

but I lost it.

We need to find it!

What the hell happened?

How'd you lose it?

Hang on a sec.

It's a long story.

I'll tell you when I get there.

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