Nativity Page #7

to her than we were at the beach. Good.

We should be getting

very near Beverly Hills now.

Saffron!

lf we come across anyone, let me do

the talking and you keep schtum, OK?

Now just follow me.

Excuse me.

Do you guys have an appointment?

l have an appointment with Jennifer

Lore. My name is Paul Maddens.

- Can l see some lD, please?

- Sorry?

- l need to see a piece of lD.

- l'm so sorry.

l haven't got it with me.

l was going to meet her for lunch.

You're not on the list. So l wouldn't be

able to let you on, even if you had it.

ls it possible to check? l'm here.

l've come all the way with them..

l just updated this, but l'll check one

more time for you. So, you stay here.

- Follow me! Come on, this way!

- Hey, stop! Come here! Stop!

Come here! Stop!

Quick!

Come on!

OK, come here, come here.

- Hold on tight.

- Hey, stop!

Stop, wait! Respect the badge! Stop!

- Help! l can't slow down!

- Whoa! Whoa!

Think Gabriel!

Father Thomas, it's not your bit.

What do you mean, it's not my bit?

(Bleating)

(Piglet squealing)

Oh!

Good morning,

lndependent United Pictures.

That's a David Lowestein?

OK, putting you through.

Good morning,

lndependent United Pictures. Hi, Angie.

l know.

Putting you through.

How can l help you, sir?

- Hi. My name is Paul Maddens.

- lndependent United Pictures. Uh-huh.

That's for a Shaun Michell?

OK, putting you through. l'm sorry, sir.

Paul Maddens to see

Jennifer Lore at 10:00.

- Can l take your name again, sir?

- Paul Maddens. M-A-D-D-E-N-S.

- And that's a P-A-U-L-L?

- P-A-U-L.

- No, just one L.

- L. l don't have that appointment, sir.

- Sir, move away from the desk.

- l've moved away.

Tony, we have children in reception!

- So what's the problem there?

- Tony!

- Calm down.

- l'm so sorry, there's this crazy guy...

- And he's been...

- Yeah, no, it's fine. lt's OK. lt's fine.

You look amazing.

- Why are you here?

- You know why l'm here.

You didn't give me much of a choice.

You wouldn't return my calls.

Paul, l don't understand

what l'm meant to do.

Look, you shouldn't be involved in it

but somehow we've got to a situation

where the whole town thinks

that Hollywood are coming.

Why do l feel

like l'm suddenly ten years ago?

l tried to maintain a contact with you.

- You did not want anything to...

- Excuse me. Sorry. Jen.

- This is that letter of agreement.

- OK.

- You can take time off and come and...

- l can't take time off.

Hang on. All of a sudden, an executive

producer can't just take their time off?

- l'm not an executive producer.

- What are you, then?

l...l file, l answer phone calls,

l speak to people.

l put people in meetings,

out of meetings.

- A secretary?

- Yeah.

You can't be a secretary.

You can't be a secretary.

She does a lot more than that,

and you should respect her...

Yes, l am. l am pretty much a secretary.

Yeah, yeah.

l'm sorry, look l know this is mad.

l know this is insane

and it's my fault.

l'm asking you for one more favour

and then l'll be out of your life.

l can't do anything, l have no power.

lf you can't do it, who can?

Harrison, are you up for it?

- No, l'm sorry you came all this way.

- Trip to England?

Paul, listen, l'm really sorry

that you've come over here.

- ls there a Harvey or Bob?

- There's not.

- Who could help me out?

- Have you got an appointment?

No, but l'm not leaving here with these

two without something to take home.

Come here!

- Kevin, get Security.

- Security, please.

Come on. Here it is. This way. This way.

Have you heard of the nativity?

- (Sighs)

- You have. l can tell you have.

Right, so we're doing our nativity show.

- Mary meets Joseph, they give birth...

- l know the story.

OK, you know the story, then,

but it's being performed by 24 children...

lt happens every year in every school

around the world where Christians are.

So, what's so special about yours?

A good question.

Here's an even better answer.

One, two, three, four.

- (Things are really cool in Nazareth...

- Sing it out.

(Our city is full of joy

(Cos this is where girl meets boy...

Yes, that's a Shaun Burridge,

putting you through.

(Paul) Last chance.

- Bye, Paul. Thanks for dropping by.

- Oh, shut up, Harrison.

(Sighs)

They're not coming, are they?

No, they're not.

- ls it our fault?

- Hey, what? No.

No, it's not your fault. Come on.

Although you could

have sung a bit better.

They're expecting Hollywood

to come and see their show.

Mr Parker, we can make that happen.

l got 50 states.

l've got hundreds of towns

in each one of those states

that are putting on a nativity play.

l don't need to travel 6,000 miles.

Mr Parker, l need you to do this for me.

l have worked here

for three years and...

every morning at ten to eight

l take your coat, l hang it up.

At nine o'clock l get you your coffee,

l put it on your table.

l take away the letters,

l put them into the out box,

l take the other letters and put them

into the in box. l file, l fax, l smile.

Jennifer,

that's what you're paid to do.

l know.

- Yes.

- Yes.

- Hello.

- Well?

No joy.

(Mrs Bevan) To take two children

out of here without my permission!

- Mrs Bevan, l have consent.

- Thank goodness for that!

lt was the first thing Mr Poppy gave me.

Otherwise it would be abduction and

the whole school would have to close.

l would never have got on the plane

had l not had these.

Do you realise the school could get

into severe trouble over this?

- What is this?

- l don't know what that is.

What is that? Did you do that?

Desmond, l trusted you.

l trusted you with children.

Small lives.

l thought you could rise to the challenge.

- But you have been a disaster.

- l'm really sorry, Auntie Pat.

- Did you know about this?

- Not that. But l did know about...

- No.

- What did you know?

- We've got to tell her.

- Speak to me. What did you know?

Well, actually, Hollywood,

they're not coming.

Paul, Mr Maddens panicked, l think,

and, er...lied.

Why did l ever, ever for a minute

think that this school

would ever have

anything good happen to it,

and out of the ordinary

and successful and...

and helpful to me and the children?

Why did l ever think that would happen?

Of course it wouldn't.

- Mrs Bevan.

- Start looking for another job.

- Sorry?

- And you, you're out.

You're irresponsible, you're not focused.

You're, l think, possibly

educationally subnormal.

You have an attitude of wanting

to be a friend to the children

rather than a professional adult.

Which anybody can do. Any fool

can say, "Who wants to meet a pig?

"Hands up, who wants to go

to a hospital." Any fool can do that.

And it transpires that you are that any

fool, and l really had high hopes for you.

For five minutes

l thought you were something else,

but, no, it transpires

you are actually just an idiot.

(Sobs)

As you know, l've been away

for a couple of days

and in that time something

has changed regarding our nativity.

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