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Natural Born Pranksters Page #7
Have you guys been hiking up here before?
- No.
- Whoo!
Let's go. This is gonna be so...
You ever been on an
adventure like this before?
No, I... No. I don't
go at night. It's scary.
Hey man, we're just pulling
down Crystal Springs,
I think. Am I meeting you at
that same trail we were at before?
- Okay.
- Are we gonna see some deers? I love deers.
I saw two coyotes on the way down here.
What! Well, you know with my
big ass, I can't run or nothing.
Why in the hell did I
let you talk me into this?
You know black people don't be
going hiking at night in the woods.
The last time we were at this other little
trail, somewhere right around here...
So, where's...
What the f*** is going on?
What is...
- What the hell?
- What're you doing?
What is going on?
Oh, my God! What the
f*** is that? An alien?
What the f*** is going on?
We're filming a movie.
This is some bullshit.
Oh, my God. I pissed on myself!
See, see, I was trying to do the right
thing and get healthy and go hiking.
This is why big people should not hike!
Big people stay your big ass home and eat!
And don't go to no damn mountains!
Go swimming at the gym or something!
F*** this hiking sh*t!
Whoo!
What's up, guys. Today
we're with Furrious... Okay.
You said, "Furrious." It's Furious.
What's up, guys. Today
we're with Furious Pete.
Go!
My name's Peter Czerwinski. And I
am a professional competitive eater.
We're gonna do an eating contest.
And whoever finishes first
hits the button in the middle,
and those who have not finished
get their plates cleaned for them.
And it's literally as simple as that.
- I don't want to do this sh*t.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't either, to be honest.
To be honest, I don't want to
do it either, but, you know...
All right, let's go, let's go.
What the f*** is that?
What is that?
Well, I'm not eating that.
Two, one, eat. Chew it.
Oh, my gosh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, Pete! You're the man, dude!
- You still have that one. You still got one!
- Nah, I got f*** all!
Ahhh! You, f*** you!
Oh.
Damn, Pete!
Was that worth it?
- Hi!
- Are you serious?
Some tanning, my friend. Tan, tan.
Yo, whatever you do, don't
go for the full 30 minutes.
- He just looks like a Miami club owner.
- Yeah, yeah.
Dirty dude.
- What's your name?
- Gilbert.
- Gilbert?
- Yeah.
Hello everybody. My name is Gilbert.
Au revoir, I am Francis.
And today, we're promoting
a new tanning bed.
And it might be a little
burning man tanning bed.
Oh, are you okay?
- It's so... It's so... Argh, it's so hot!
- He's okay. He's okay.
That's our new tanning bed.
Welcome, mademoiselle.
There's my manager over there.
Oh, good afternoon.
Where are you from?
- I am from... French. How 'bout you?
- French?
So what are you here for, ladies?
I'm here for a tan because I'm so white.
Come, let's see.
- Oh, yeah, yeah...
- She's negative 35.
This is my darkest.
You are more like negative 22.
So tan. You're gonna be so tan.
- So tan?
- So which... Which tan do you want?
Do you want a... Is this
the tan? The sexiest tan
or do you want this tan, the okay tan?
- I like your tan a little bit better only because...
- I'm too dark?
- Yes.
- Are you calling me black?
- No. I just think you're a little too dark.
Okay, so let me tell you
something very exciting today.
Today, we got our new machine from USSR.
It was discovered in
2014, which is last year,
and if you minus 2015 minus 2014,
that's one year, correct?
- Correct. So today, it's fair to say the machine is safe.
- Look how he's selling.
This is very new.
I suggest... You try it first time.
To $9.99, you like, you
buy package $150 for ten.
We got somebody in there.
You will be second and third.
Or you can do same time.
Ow! Ow!
Hello?
- Monsieur! Monsieur?
- Are you okay, sir?
Ow! Oh, it hurts!
Sorry, it's our...
Oh, my God.
Help me!
Call
9-1-1.
- Please help!
- Francis!
Would you like to do the session?
I don't. Is he okay?
You should
call 9-1-1 now!
- No, no, no...
- Please...
No, your friend is staying
here. You're coming with me.
You're coming, it's free.
What the f***! Don't go with him!
- It's free. It's free. It's okay.
- No!
Get under.
- Just stop!
- Don't go in there!
- It's 99 cents and she can afford it.
- What the f***? 99 cents?
It at least costs three grand.
This guy is never gonna
frickin' be the same!
What the hell are you doing?
Get it off!
No, no, no.
No, please. Please, come here.
Come here. You need a tan.
Oh, man.
Excuse me, ma'am. Hey, you think you
can just take a video for me for my...
- In front of my girlfriend's car for me?
- Yeah.
Okay, cool. Here, just
stand right here for me.
- Okay.
- And just let me put it on video.
Then just hit record.
- Is it recording?
- Yes.
- Does it look good?
- Yes.
Go for it.
Hey Stephanie. I just want
to say I love you so much.
And I'm so happy for the
time that we had together
and I can't imagine
being with anybody else.
And I can't imagine you being
with somebody else, either.
And that's why I can't believe that
you would do this to me, because...
We've been through so much
together, and we have this kid,
and this... It's what you've done to me...
It's like it doesn't even
hurt me, it hurts our family.
And I know you're here in
North Hollywood Park right now
with your boyfriend or whoever
the hell he is right now,
and...
You can't be with him.
You can't be with anybody.
So you're not gonna be with sh*t.
You're not gonna be with anybody.
So I'm gonna f***ing take your laptop,
and f*** that.
Right? And you're gonna cheat on me.
You have your boyfriend's wallet.
You do all that.
You f***in' betrayed me!
You betrayed me.
You betrayed our f***ing family!
I can't... Wait a minute.
Oh, my God. That's not her car.
Hold on. Oh, my God. That's not
her car. Wait, it's this car.
Here, I need to do that
video again. No, no, no, no.
- I need you to do my video again, please.
- I'm sorry.
- I need you to take a video. Again.
- I can't.
Excuse me, boss. Can you help me out?
My car... I locked my keys in the car.
Excuse me, man. Yo.
Can you give me a hand?
I locked my keys in my car.
Excuse me, man. I locked my
car key. Can you help me in?
No.
Yo, excuse me, my man. Can
you guys help me unlock my car?
I'll give you $100 bucks.
I'll help you out, but you ain't
gotta give me no money, man.
- Why would I not give you money?
- It's cool, man.
- I don't need money.
- Oh, man, you're a nice person.
Thanks, dude. I get it in there, but...
- What do you need me to do?
- Just unlock my car.
- You left your keys in there?
- Yeah.
Just give me a minute, mom.
You have AAA?
Yeah, I'm gonna try to make a phone call.
All right, I'm gonna take care
of it from now on. Thanks, dude.
I got the picture.
- Picture of what?
- I got, I got a picture of that.
It's not my car. Thanks, dude.
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"Natural Born Pranksters" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 24 Feb. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/natural_born_pranksters_14612>.
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