Nature Calls Page #8

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I think that's your dad.

KIRK:
Dwande?

Buddy, let's be very careful

with that, okay?

We gotta take him back home

where he'll be...

[ boys chuckle]

[faint sound of bells ringing]

RANDY:
Wow.

Hey. What's--What's that sound?

It's beautiful.

[cell phones ringing]

[ringing and vibrating]

That's our moms calling us.

I think that means

we're in deep sh*t, Mr. Stevens.

Thank you, Shane.

[phones continue ringing]

[engine cranking]

Son of a b*tch!

Damn! God damn it, man!

- IVAN:
Hey, shh!

- You know what?

- That hotwire sh*t, it don't work!

- Be nice. Hey, be nice.

IVAN:
All right, stop it.

EDDIE:
All I can do is get

the goddamn radio started, man!

Don't touch me!

[both shouting]

Then you do it!

You get it started!

- You're a smart ass.

- Be nice!

[boys groaning]

- RANDY:
Eddie.

- Sweet Baby Jesus.

Don'! you need these keys?

Oh, no, no, no no, no, no!

No, I10, no, no, no!

We're not getting

mixed up with this, man. No!

What, you're not

gonna help these kids?

Here's my answer.

Step away from the vehicle.

Roll it, man.

The back doors are open.

Jesus.

It's not starting!

Well, pop the f***ing clutch, man!

- What's a poppa clutch?

- A poppa clutch?

- [ All grunting]

- RANDY:
Okay.

EDDIE:
Come on, man!

- Guys, come on.

- EDDIE:
Get us out of here! Come on!

That's how you pop a clutch!

Hey! No, no, no, no, no, no!

Randy! Don't bring him in here!

No! No!

How would Randy

get into these woods?

Janine. Right there!

- Get this sh*t out of here!

- Quit screaming at me!

Okay, Eddie, I got us moving.

It's rolling!

[boys shouting]

[horn honks]

GENTRY:

That's them! That's them!

[on loudspeaker] You shitty little

cocksuckers. We got your ass!

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Everybody, hands up!

You are f***ed!

Get out of the car!

They're making a break for it!

Everybody, freeze!

You heard the motherf***er.

He said "freeze"!

- It's rolling, you idiots!

- Halt!

[ Screaming ]

- [ Blanks and BB gun firing]

- [ all screaming]

- Aah!

- EDDIE:
It's the cops!

Randy! You tell them

that we're not with you,

and I'm not your friend!

Kids, move! Move!

Everybody! Back off!

Get outta here, you little shits! Move!

No more child casualties today.

They're getting away!

Huh? What? What?

GENTRY:

Shoot the tires!

CALDWELL:

This sh*t's not gonna shoot the tires!

Ow! What are you doing?

We're moving!

You broke the skin, man!

Oh, sh*t!

- [ BB gun fires]

- GENTRY:
Stop!

Stop! Don't resist!

[blanks firing]

[all screaming]

Oh. yeah!

[ Screaming ]

[groaning]

Oh! I think we did that, man!

Jesus Christ

came out that windshield!

Let's get that motherf***er.

Hah!

[ Boys talking excitedly]

- Look!

- Oh ho ho ho!

Oh! A crotch rocket!

Whoa!

TIBBITS:

Is that the naked lady's?

- Oh! Look at that!

- Wait a minute. Please.

Ah, look at this. It's silk.

That's disgusting.

Guys! It's her! It's the lady!

Guys, come look!

[all cheering and shouting]

- Aah-ha!

- [ blanks and BB gun firing]

No, no! Yo!

Stick 'em up, jerk-offs.

Stick 'em up?

We were just in a carwreck!

GENTRY:
All right.

Nobody move, all right?

Unless you got to

for, like, a medical reason

or some bullshit like that.

Caldwell, you got

a 20 on this scumbag?

CALDWELL:

I don't know what a 20 is.

- Where the f*** is that little bastard?

- Motherf***er.

He's getting away! Gentry!

- Hey! Hey! F*** you! F*** you!

- [ blank fires]

- Gentry! Gentry!

- Hey! Hey! Freeze, motherf***er!

- [ Screaming]

- Freeze!

- Hah!

[ screaming ]

[blanks popping]

[BB gun shooting]

Who's a dead man now,

huh, a**hole?

JANINE:
What's that?

Aah ha ha!

Thought you could outsmart

the outsmarters, huh?

Shoot him again, Caldwell!

- Hey, cut that out!

- Oh, God!

GENTRY:
Janine! What the hell

are you doing here, huh?

Shouldn't you be at home,

like, online shopping or something?

Hey, gimme my gun back!

Hey, kid!

What is going on here?

- What the hell?

- What happened to the kids?

Where's Kirk?

- Everything is under control.

- No, it's not.

You stupid,

stinkin' son of a b*tch!

Oh, okay. Hello, ladies!

- Where is my son?

- What did you do to our boys?

The good news is that they were

nowhere near the van crash.

[all shouting]

Where are our sons?

They're not here...

MOTHER:
You lost our children?

There's no reason to panic,

because they will soon be back

in your warm, loving bosoms.

MOTHER:
Bosoms?!

Mr. Scout Leader,

if my sweet Lord Christ

in the trees

has any ounce of mercy

to place on a cursed soul like yours,

he better damn well show me

a sign of that right now!

- [groaning ]

- [ mothers gasping]

Everything's

perfectly fine here, ladies!

Oh, God!

Can somebody

get me off this cross?

And on a Sunday, of all days!

You should all be

ashamed of yourselves!

All right, ladies, ladies, listen up.

Name's Gentry.

Let me lay it down for you.

Here are the facts

as we know them.

And although we can't confirm this 100%,

we believe that your children...

may be dead.

MOTHERS:
What?!

[mothers clamoring]

- I'm just-

- Gentry, shut up.

- Janine, it's true.

- Shut up.

- Who is that guy?

- RANDY:
Idiot!

He's an idiot.

He's a security guard

at an ATM company.

He has no authority.

Okay, listen up,

yes, I am an ATM security agent,

which means I've been

trained in firearms.

I've been trained in black ops.

And here are the facts, ladies.

Children don't live in the woods.

They die.

Oh, my God!

Ladies, If I could have done something

about it, I would have.

I don't like to point fingers,

but this f***ing guy

killed your kids.

Oh, my God! What have you

done with him?

What have you done with him?

GENTRY:
Probably being devoured

by wolves as we speak.

Jesus Christ!

What happened out here?

Where's Dwande?

He's up there.

They're all up there.

RANDY:
He's just making--

He's making that up!

He's making that up.

He totally...

[motorcycle engine rewing ]

Oh, my God!

KIRK:
That's our son.

What the f*** is going on?

Hey! This is federal goddamn...

RANGER DEAKINS:

That's a naked woman.

Lord, well done.

[boys shouting]

Leonard!

What did they do to you?

Mom, it's okay. It's just tits.

Leonard!

Whoa!

Ooh! Look at you!

Smell it! I made testosterone!

Oh, yes!

Then you saw one

of his organs coming out,

and then over there

you saw his heart pumping out.

It was still beating,

it was like bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!

And then, after that,

you saw all the blood squirting,

and you couldn't even see the fireworks

because all the blood was like...

[mimics blood splashing]

You just saw its insides,

and there was some black thing.

It was like the game that I have.

Hey, buddy,

be careful with that. Okay?

Can I ask you a question?

What were you thinking?

Baby, I'm so sorry.

Those women look like

they could have killed you.

Yeah.

I hate those women.

They scare the sh*t out of me.

But at least it worked out

for your father.

Where is your father?

Dwande?

This guy did something

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