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Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising Page #4
what they do, but what I do
is facilitate the act of
partying in this house.
What?
So let's rage!
Missed you guys.
These are the rules for
a successful sorority.
Rule number one.
to keep track of your cash.
Five buckets a month
equals house rent.
Rule number two.
can dress them up like idiots.
Minions! Minions!
They got a hilarious
army of f***ing Minions.
I love Minions, and now
I have to hate them.
They're making me
hate something I love.
Rule number three.
Throw the type of parties
that show what you
guys are all about.
Hillary Clinton.
Joan of Arc orders
you to pass the joint.
First Lady Hillary Clinton?
Or future President
Hillary Clinton?
Oprah, we're out of beer.
Everybody look under their chairs.
You're all getting beer!
You get a beer, you get
a beer, you get a beer.
I love you, Oprah.
Could you please be quiet?
- Shut up!
- Shut up!
I cannot tell you
how thankful I am...
I love you so much.
It's not fair!
They're too young!
Why don't they shut up!
- Just stop it!
- Stop it!
Shut up!
Please.
Please!
We're begging you!
All right, listen.
I cannot shut down a sorority that's
trying to become independent.
Why not?
It's a PR nightmare.
What's the nightmare?
For example,
"Sexist female dean
shuts down sorority."
That is reverse sexism.
Which is, in and of itself,
There's no such thing as
reverse sexism, Mr. White Man.
Oh, okay. Hey, don't
talk to me like that,
because I am Jewish.
I am a minority.
Well, less of you.
Like Labradoodles.
Okay.
Look, if they get three strikes
they have to shut down, right?
As far as I'm concerned,
they have infinite strikes.
I see we're playing outside
the rules of the system,
so why don't we go to Plan B?
Here's a little something
to change your mind.
Mmm.
Do we have a deal, chancellor?
No.
You know what, f*** you!
Unleash the hounds, sweetie.
That's how you talk
in front of your daughter?
Oh, I think we know
how to be parents.
She's a baby, She doesn't
retain any of that sh*t.
Well, yes she will.
No, she doesn't.
Watch.
F***, f***, f***.
F***.
What's she watching on her iPad?
Goodfellas.
Ha, ha, ha.
Jokes on you.
I don't know what she's
watching on that iPad.
What are we gonna do?
We have an inspection soon.
drive by at any moment,
say, "Oh, the house
has a few leaks,
"and there's 20
f***ing psychopathic
"teenagers living
next door."
We're gonna have two houses.
And then we'll have no houses.
And then we're screwed.
We're totally screwed.
Hi, sweetie. Hi, baby.
Hey.
We just got to get rid of them.
I couldn't talk to those girls.
No. We had middle
ground with the guys.
We could talk to the guys.
Yes!
They look at us like
it was like their grandparents
walked into that house.
Right? Stella is not gonna
turn out like that.
No.
No.
She'll be our best
friend forever-Yeah.
Yeah. We're a team.
Right, Stella?
Come over here, Stella.
Come here.
Honey, wanna come over here?
What the f***? What
the f*** is wrong with her?
Play with your toy, sweetie.
Play with your toy.
Just keep playing with your toy.
Give him a kiss.
You know who kids listen to?
Their parents. Celebrities.
Their parents.
What's up...
Hey, Dad!
You started a sorority?
You're supposed to
be living in the dorm,
not in some old
dilapidated mansion!
This is what you want?
You wanna live like some
sort of a drifter murderer?
I can do whatever I want here.
Dad, that's the
point of college.
I'm my own parent.
When did you start
talking like Eminem?
I'm gonna talk like this.
I'm gonna talk like that.
This is ridiculous!
Look at that pizza,
how old is that?
Cheese is mold.
I can eat it,
whenever I want it.
God, have you
inherited my stupid gene?
Look at you.
So you get to be just
as dumb as boys now?
Is that what you learned here?
You are going back to the dorm!
No! This is where
I chose to live.
It is only Kappa Nu.
Looks like my
little girl's growing up.
Thanks, Dad.
I can buy your girlfriends and
you some brunch, if you want?
I kind of need some new jeans.
Oh, we can go shopping then.
Yeah, cool.
How did it go? Yeah.
They gonna be cool?
Did you punish them or whatever?
I tried my best, but
there's nothing I can do.
What do you mean?
What?
Ah. You'll know.
When they're two
years old, you can
get them to do
almost anything you want.
Get a little bit older, and
I do not understand
a word she says.
But it was good to see her.
- The house is so quiet without her.
- Oh...
I'm fine.
Gosh.
Beautiful child.
Can I hold her?
No, no, no. That's okay.
That's great.
Is that a dildo
dressed as a princess?
Nope. That is a popular children's
cartoon character of today.
Thank you for trying.
- Hey, meanies!
- Hi!
You called my parents?
Yes, we did call your parents.
Yes. We did.
We actually did.
Oh, really?
It's 30 days!
It's just 30 days!
It's 30 days! Then
we won't be escrow!
Then we'll be out of your hair!
It's 30 f***ing days.
It's all we're asking for.
It's on.
No, no, no.
No.
Nothing's on.
Why would it be on?
No, it's on. But we're
turning it off.
If we turned it on, we can turn it off.
Can we just turn it off?
It's on.
Hey, Mac!
Hey, Mac!
Great! I see more
of you have moved in.
This is private property.
You're trespassing.
Hey, Mac.
Looks like Beth needs some
suntan lotion on her.
I think she's okay.
Leave me alone.
You're not going.
Where am I?
Oh, no.
I killed a girl!
I'm on painkillers,
motherf***er!
Kappa Nu!
What the f*** is wrong with you?
Get away! Go away!
Get out of here, you animals!
This isn't working!
You're only making them sexier!
I don't like it!
I don't like it!
What the hell was that?
Was that a bird?
What the hell is that?
Oh, no!
Oh, God! Tampons!
Oh, that's filthy!
Stop it, you animals!
Get off! Stop it!
Oh!
Oh, my God! Mac!
That was really funny!
Where'd you guys get
so much fake blood?
Oh, from our vaginas.
That was real?
Yeah, it was our uterine
wall sloughing off.
You just threw...
That was really gross.
Ugh. Why'd
you do that?
That was way over the line.
Whoa. That's,
like, super sexist.
It was really f***ing funny.
You would've been like,
"It's so funny,"
if it was a bag of d*cks-
"Look, it's a bag of
d*cks on the window!"
No, that...
A bag of d*cks.
Yeah, you got me.
That's funny.
A bag of d*cks.
Here's the deal.
First inspection, tomorrow.
We need help-We have
to get rid of the girls
tomorrow, from the house,
between 10:
00 and 5:00.Exactly.
If our home owners see these
girls, our escrowment's gonna end.
And these girls are f***ed, man.
They're from
another f***ing planet.
Yeah. They're
worse than the guys.
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"Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/neighbors_2:_sorority_rising_14654>.
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