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Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising Page #6
We'll stop at P.F. Chang's,
Chipotle, whatever you need.
Passing that mold
inspection was a miracle!
Praise be.
Yeah. No sh*t.
If they drive past here and
they see the girls, it's over.
The worst part of
this whole f***ing thing,
I'm so stressed out,
all I want to do
is chill out and smoke a joint,
and my dealer doesn't have any weed.
He's f***ing dry!
Good luck finding any.
- Jesus Christ, man!
- Whoa!
How the f*** did
you get in here?
None of that matters right now.
I want to help you guys stop that
sorority before it gets too late.
Really?
That's right.
I'm switching sides.
Nice! That's awesome! Cool!
Yes!
FYI, Kelly, I'm still down.
Stop it.
Okay. I know
you're not gonna f***.
He's just having a joke.
Kappa Nu has cornered
the market on weed.
Oh, no!
Oh, God.
Oh, yes!
Until Monday, they are
the only purveyors
of weed in the greater
Ardendale area.
Holy sh*t! Do you think they'll
sell me some? Oh, my God-
No.
F***!
They have seven pounds of weed.
They can sell it for $50
a gram if they want to.
That's over $1,000 an ounce,
$16,000 a pound.
All said and done, if they move
it all, that's over $112,000.
Dude.
We should do this.
You're incredible at math.
Nah, I suck at math.
I'm good at weed.
It's the same thing.
No, this is weed.
Just pretend it's seven
pounds of meat, just try it.
Why would I even be buying meat?
I don't know.
You're hungry.
Are you talking burgers?
Steaks.
How much does a gram
of steak go for?
I don't know. Why would I
Fair enough.
Their plan is to sell
the weed at the tailgate.
And believe me,
that's enough for them
to stay in the house
through your escrow.
God.
What do we do?
won't be able to pay the rent.
All of the members
that they've recruited
will have to rush
other sororities,
and that will be that.
What's in this for you, bro?
Yeah.
Honestly, I just
want to be valued.
Well, it begs the question.
How the f*** are we supposed to beat them?
There's 15 of them!
No, they have 15 individuals.
They're not a cohesive unit.
They don't understand the most
important rule of sisterhood.
There's no "I" in sorority.
Yeah, there is.
There's two actually.
Actually, there's just one.
No, that's a "Y."
No, in the middle.
That's an
Two "I"s, straddling the "Y".
S-O-R-R-I-A-Y-O-R-I-T-Y.
What?
There's a "U" in there that
you guys are all missing.
S-O-R-R-I-R-O-I-T-I-T-Y.
Sorriroi-tity? KELLY:
That's how you spell it.
You think the "tity" is silent?
Look, we're all getting
sidetracked right now!
Guys, bottom line is
we need to figure out a way
to infiltrate that tailgate.
Tailgate?
Tailgate.
Tailgate.
Tailgate! Tailgate!
High pie!
Yes, you.
Come on! Pot pie!
Weed for women!
It's only 20 bucks!
Kappa Nu weed.
It's charity weed.
High pie.
Come on!
It's just $20 a slice!
Come get your pie!
Pot pie, guys!
First off, you look
f***ing horrifying.
What? It's a clown, man.
People love clowns.
Jesus f***ing Christ!
Stop doing that!
Don't do that again.
Okay? I will give birth.
Guys, listen!
Here's the plan.
I'm gonna get up on stage
and I'm gonna dance,
distracting the girls
just long enough for Mac
to run around
and steal the weed.
Kelly, Paula, I need you
both to drive getaway.
I can't have you running around
here 'cause you're pregnant.
Wait, just you dancing is enough
to distract the entire sorority?
I don't know about that.
That'll work.
It usually works.
I don't even know
where we are right now.
Okay.
I'm ready.
All right.
Oh, sh*t! F***!
What's wrong?
Damn it.
No! I don't have
the baby oil.
What's the big deal?
No, it's the most
important thing!
With baby oil, you get,
Really?
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
God damn it-
All right, let's go!
Ooh, that's hot!
Oh, that's really hot!
Ow! It burns!
Rub that sh*t in.
All right, rub it in.
Rub it in.
Jeez.
Oh, my God!
God bless you, kid.
Kelly?
What?
What the f*** are you doing?
We're in a rush, Mac.
Come on, Mac. Get his thighs.
Okay.
Yo, what's up!
Clear the stage,
clear the stage!
I got something to say.
This song right here goes out
I know we've been going through
But I love you.
DJ, let's shake that booty.
You got this, right, Beth?
Yes, I got this.
I'm right here.
F***!
No! He showed dick!
Oh, no!
The weed!
Oh, sh*t!
It's all gone!
Oh, my God! It's all gone!
It's all gone!
Chester the f***ing
Cheetah took our weed!
Get the f***ing bag of weed!
Get the weed!
God, I hate clowns!
Get out of the way!
Get another exit.
Find the exit!
I'm blocked!
I'll get another car!
Go! Go!
Oh, No!
Move, move, move!
F***!
Get out of the way!
I got your weed!
Move!
Which one is it?
Where's the weed?
Give me the f***ing weed!
Who's laughing now, clown?
Who's laughing now?
Ow! Stop!
It's garbage!
It's not weed!
Oh, f***!
The weed! The weed!
Go for it!
Oh, sh*t!
Okay, wait! Mac,
you can do this.
4-20!
Oh, f***!
On your right!
Take it!
I'm All-State track
and field, b*tch!
Come on!
Come on!
Hurry!
On, sh*t!
Here she comes!
Free weed! Take it! Free weed!
Weed for everyone!
Free weed!
Free weed!
That's all our weed!
How are we gonna pay rent?
Two pounds coming!
You look...
Are you in pain?
They're just a little heavy.
Yeah. Yeah.
I love you! Sh*t!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Ah!
Oh, f***!
- This is a f***ing shame, but
it's also pretty fun. - WhOO...
Thank you, dude.
Yeah.
Dude, those girls
were out of control!
control until we controlled them.
You really controlled them.
You have to remind yourself that
any situation is
actually controllable
because parents are smart and kids,
by comparison, are f***ing stupid.
You have it figured out.
You can't do anything
until you know the answer
to one simple question.
"Who is Teddy Sanders?"
Mmm.
It's a very important
question to ask yourself.
Before I got anywhere
in life, I asked myself,
"Who is Mac Radner?"
And I said, "Who are
you, Kelly Dhundee?"
Your maiden name's Dundee?
No, it's got an Dhundee.
Like Crocodile Dundee?
It's "Dhundee." It's a
different name altogether.
I know it's a different name,
but it's just a coincidence.
Crocodile Dundee.
It's nothing like it!
No. Nothing like that.
But anyway, that's what you need to know.
Who is Teddy Sanders?
Buddy, what are you doing today?
Yeah, what's your...
What your overall
game plan here?
Just in life.
I'll probably play
some games on my phone,
and walk around for a little
then go to sleep in my car.
Probably.
So sad.
Um, do you wanna
maybe crash here?
Really, I won't
take up too much room?
You could sleep
in Stella's room.
She takes up this much space.
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"Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/neighbors_2:_sorority_rising_14654>.
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