Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising Page #8

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Bell, I left her at home.

I forgot she existed.

She almost died over a Gordita.

I'm such a bad parent.

Well, maybe we're

both bad parents!

Oh, no.

It's Wendy, the realtor.

My clients are

backing out of escrow.

Yeah.

What?

We drove by the house

yesterday and saw Kappa Nu.

How do you know

the name of the sorority?

I went to college,

too, you know.

Omega Theta.

Let's roll out!

Why the hell is he here?

I thought you were my clients.

We hired him because you

just forgot to mention

the sorority that lives next to

our new house, so that's why.

Okay. Well, congratulations

because you hired a joke.

Oh, shove it, Wendy.

Oh, shove it right

back at ya, Oliver!

Why don't you shove it?

Shove it right back at ya!

We f***ed once.

Not applicable.

I just feel like

we're escrowing apart

and we should be

escrowing together.

Exactly, guys. Can we just

escrow together for a minute?

And the truth is,

they're lovely girls.

Lovely girls. Super nice girls.

We promise you.

I don't think that they are

because we literally saw

them robbing your house.

Well, thanks for

f***ing stopping them!

You just stood there while

they robbed our house?

It wasn't like that.

You didn't tell us

about the sorority!

Is there anything we can do?

We're desperate!

Yeah, you can magically make the

sorority that lives next door to you

disappear by tomorrow.

Is it real?

No! Maybe it's just the old

people messing with us.

No. It's a real eviction notice.

I called the landlord-

Okay, maybe the landlord

was just one of

the old people pretending

to be the landlord.

No. We're actually

being evicted, okay?

We have no money to pay for it,

because we spent all of

our money on the weed.

So now we need

five buckets of money

otherwise, we're gonna

get kicked out tomorrow.

We're gonna lose the house.

We're gonna lose the house?

We're gonna lose our sisters, 'cause

we're gonna be put in separate dorms.

Then we're gonna

have no friends anymore,

and it's gonna be just like

high school all over again.

What are we gonna do? I mean,

how do frats make money?

They throw parties and

they charge for them.

But no one's gonna pay money

to come to our parties.

Yeah, it's not like a frat

bro is gonna walk up and be like,

"Ooh, you look good

in your normal clothes."

Wait!

"I love your sweater!"

Girls, I have an idea.

Okay.

You're not going

to like it though.

We have to throw a party.

No. When we throw

parties we lose money.

No, not one of our

really fun parties

that we actually

have a good time at.

I mean it's, like, empowering.

We have to throw a really

shitty frat brother party.

One where the frat

brothers like it so much,

they actually pay us to come to.

And then they really

like it so much, they tell

all their other

douchy frat brother friends

and they all pay us, too.

Like the one we

met each other at?

The other option here

is losing the house,

and if we lose the house

we lose Kappa Nu.

I'm not gonna lose you guys.

- Okay.

- All right.

- Let's go tell the girls.

- Okay.

We don't want to

lose this sorority.

We don't want to

lose our house, okay?

That's why we gotta

dress a little "hotter

than we usually do."

I'm hot!

I f***ed the pizza man.

I gave him five stars on Yelp.

You have chips in your hair.

Yeah.

Look at the production

value on this video.

We are totally f***ed!

We're gonna be bankrupt!

No, no, no!

Look closer.

They've lost their way.

They've become everything

that they've hated.

- Jesus Christ.

- They're vulnerable.

They're relying fully on this

party to support this house.

He's right.

If we shut down this party,

the sorority will dissolve.

It's time to show

them who's adults,

and spank their little bottoms.

I wanna spank them all.

Let's do what parents

do better than anything,

stop young people

from having fun!

Come on in, guys!

Hey, hope you let yourself

in this party later on.

You're funny.

Call your friends, okay?

Tell them to come.

And bring money!

We shut this motherf***er

down at all costs.

Y'all go in, shut it

down from the inside.

Me and Kelly stay, call the cops

shut it down from the outside.

Inside, outside.

Got it.

Now I'm ready.

Now, I'm ready.

Jesus Christ, man.

Ow!

Hey!

Hey.

What's going on, Kappa Nu?

Bro, it's only 20 bucks. You've

gotta get down here now.

They're gonna get wet

everywhere, I swear to God!

There's so many f***ing hot

b*tches here, it's ridiculous.

It's like a hot b*tch fiesta.

They're, like, all

ripe and ready to pop!

How much money have we made? How

many money buckets do we have?

This punch tastes kind of funny.

We didn't put out any punch.

Oh, no.

I'm gonna start phase two, okay?

Phase two, is we have

to stop the old people

from calling the cops, okay?

If you see any old people

in here, stop them!

I don't like this.

Me neither.

No! Stop drinking that.

Ha! My tongue is numb.

Just blend in.

Yes, blend, blend, blend.

Oh, excusez-moi.

It's a good party. I am

gonna text my friends.

No, it's all a lie.

It's a deception.

They don't think

you're funny, okay?

What? Oh, f*** me!

Oh, you okay?

What's wrong?

I shouldn't have

eaten that McRib.

It's no big deal.

I'm just having the worst cramps in

my life every five, six minutes.

Yeah, I think you're

going into labor.

No, no, no. The baby's

not due till tomorrow.

You're definitely

going into labor.

You need to be timing this.

Oh, it's passed.

I feel great.

I told you,

she's not going into labor.

She's all good, dude.

Whoo!

There she goes.

You should really go after her.

She's the boss of her

own body, all right?

The last night of freedom!

I love you!

I love you, bubba!

We have to get upstairs. That's

where the power source is.

What are you doing?

Don't drink that!

What's wrong?

Come on, dude! Never

drink the punch!

Oh. Whoo!

Let's go.

I saw you with Teddy.

Why were you with Teddy?

Shh.

We're gonna kill the power

and shut down the party.

What?

I got real f***ed

up really quickly just now.

Me, too.

But all I had was the punch.

Sh*t! We got Cosby'd!

Yes!

Kappa Nu,

good night to you.

They must have an

alternate power source.

Banana! Banana! Banana!

Must stop you!

Oh, my God. Look how

big my tongue is.

Look how big my tongue is.

Ew!

Sh*t! F***!

Party's big enough, let's

call the cops. Okay.

Hey, sweet tart!

It's a little hard to call the

cops without a phone, ain't it?

Give us that back!

No!

Drop it!

Whoa. Ah!

Ooh.

What the f***?

Called a cord, dumbass!

F***ing old people phone!

What the hell?

Where are our phones?

Oh, what, these?

How'd you get those?

Come on.

Yo! I couldn't find

the power source.

Shelby took our phones.

Do you have a phone?

No, I don't have a phone.

Iran out of data.

Sh*t!

- I'm in here, guys.

- Garage.

Don't try and find me though.

Oh, you're getting warmer.

Getting warmer.

You're definitely

getting warmer.

Ooh, ooh.

You're getting warmer.

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