Neil Stryker and The Tyrant of Time Page #2

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make you understand.

Before I became an agent,

i used to work

with a brilliant scientist.

One day...

...he went completely mad.

Stryker,

you gotta come see this!

I've done it, stryker!

I've finally done it!

Your time portal.

So, how does it work?

Well, the portal itself

is currently

ripping through time and space

as we speak.

And I use this to summon

or beckon it, if you will.

So the machine is in

a constant state of time travel.

Not bad.

- Yes, Neil.

And it completely solves

all the stability issues

i was having before.

And that's exactly why

we failed with the time pod.

That f***ing thing.

See?

Let me show you how this works.

Now. I am

setting the coordinates

to send me precisely

20 seconds

into the future.

Which will expel me

right back here

to this very spot.

Now, Neil, stand back...

And behold...

The absolute dazzlement...

The unadulterated majesty

of time travel.

Ha ha!

You know, twenty seconds is

a lot longer than you think...

When you're

just standing there...

...doin' nothin'...

...like a jerk.

With this new technology...

He possibilities are endless.

He was never

the same after that.

He would stay up

for days devising plans

of world domination

and unspeakable evil.

...operation omega

I know exactly what I'm saying

I've got the perfect plan:

I will go back in time

to every December the 24th...

And I will steal

Santa claus' bag of toys.

And they'll all be mine, leaving

nothing left for the children.

I will be the absolute ruler.

The most certain

king of Christmas.

And to top it all off...

I will breed with Mrs. claus.

I can't let that happen.

Mark my words, stryker...

Revenge!

I'll never forget

the look on his face...

The sound of his voice.

He's out there, Veronica.

The only chance this world has

is is if I find him

before he finds me.

What are you girls doing?!

This is classified information!

Get the hell out of here!

You're still not going with me.

With the mad scientist at large

the entire world as we

know it today is in peril.

I mean... we're f***ed!

It's true.

But you are forgetting

one thing, Fred.

Snack machine is broken?

Me.

You broke the snack machine!

I didn't touch

the f***ing snack machine!

Let me make you understand.

After the scientist

built the time portal,

I was able to get

my hands on the schematics.

I followed them carefully

and built a time portal tracker

so that I could track any time

the scientist made a time-jump.

You know what I love

about the French, stryker?

The hats.

You look like Napoleon.

I know, right?

He gave me the entire getup

for a pair of

invisibility boots.

Now you listen.

You can't give

ancient civilizations

advanced technology like that.

You're going to f*** up

the entire course of history.

What's the matter with you?

I think-i think I know

what I'm doing here, stryker.

If you just take a step back

and ask yourself

what you're asking me

because I know what I'm doing.

I'm a genius. Okay?

Don't f*** with me.

What do you take me for,

stryker?

I invented time travel.

Of course

i know the repercussions

of altering history.

I was the one who--

it was times like these

I knew having the ability

to track

the scientist's time-jumps

would be vital.

But chasing him through time

could be

a catastrophic nightmare.

We have to stop him

before that can happen.

His thirst for revenge

is the only reason

he hasn't already

made a time-jump.

And it's the only

leverage we have.

Where are you hiding?

It didn't take long

to find you, stryker,

and now you're mine.

There's no escape, stryker!

Darrel, prepare

to launch missiles.

Your grace, I must protest.

Those laser beams

did overheat our drives.

We do not want

to blow a fuse by--

get the f*** out of my way!

I'll f***ing do it.

Whoa! Darrel!

Your grace, he's still alive.

Of course he is, darrel!

He's always still alive!

But not for long.

Let's see how

he likes a little

visit from one of

our blimp probes.

Stryker, what are you up to?

Darrel...

...take over.

Stryker!

What the hell are you doing?

Oh, no!

Don't you dare

blow up my blimp,

stryker, don't you dare!

Oh, god! My nose!

Don't mind if I do!

Darrel, get to the

f***ing escape pod!

Is there something wrong,

my lord?

Yeah, I just got kicked

in the f***ing face.

Now get the f*** in there!

Push the f***ing button, darrel!

Come on!

Come on!

I'll get you

for this, stryker!

Incoming call

elite forces.

Hey, stryker.

What are you doing?

Following a hunch.

Do we know where

the mad scientist is hiding?

No.

But I think I might

know who does.

That's f***ing great.

His twin brother.

He's a recluse.

He lives in Ireland.

I haven't seen him in years.

So I'll have to be

ready for anything.

Tell you what I, uh,

I'll make you a deal.

I will share with you

the location of my

brother's hidden fortress if...

You pose for my next sculpture.

Nude.

That's it. That's all you want?

No.

Agh!

Well, I tell you this much.

Compromise.

I love you in your uniform.

I mean, I like the way

you look in your uniform.

Uh...

Fine.

And if you pull out before

I'm done,

I'm going to get into

my little cruiser ship

and f***ing laser blast you.

So, how long is

this going to take?

Oh, no time at all, Neil.

For this one I'm

thinking action.

Hm? Your kicking a bad guy.

Okay, I like it.

Uh. Oh, sh*t!

There's another bad guy

comin' right at ya!

Kick 'em both.

Uh. Okay, they're startin' to

move on either side of ya.

Kick 'em wider.

Okay, I'm gonna need

you to go a little wider.

Okay, baby, I'm going to

need you to go a little wider.

Okay.

Now.

A little wider.

Now Bob,

we've talked about this.

This isn't gonna go down.

I know how you want it,

Bob, and...

I just don't do that sh*t.

Okay, okay, fine, god!

Tell ya what...

Why don't you just, um,

whip out your pistol?

Your gun.

Hold your gun.

So what do you want me to do?

Well, I want you

to be Neil stryker.

I want you to, uh, turn me on.

Try this one.

I can't imagine seeing

a more sexy sight...

Ever.

Ever. So you just stay put.

Through the tides of time...

...only a few men have

shaped history.

And tonight,

two men will do it.

What was once soft...

...will soon be hard.

Wait 'til I tell...

Welcome, Neil stryker.

Coffee.

Nuclear weapon armed.

Detonation in 30 seconds.

Detonation in 20 seconds.

Nuclear weapon armed.

Depositing weapon

in carriage.

Nuclear weapon armed.

- Sh*t.

- Five, four...

- Open the f***ing door!

- ...Three, two, one.

Goodbye.

I've gotta get that fixed.

Welcome, captain stryker.

One new message.

You f***ing nuked me.

Incoming call.

Commander Fred.

Stryker, what the f***

are you doin, okay?

We gotta get goin' here.

The last thing I want

is for mad scientist

to anticipate our next move.

Now listen,

I've assembled a team for you

and they're waiting right now.

Fred, you make me sick.

Why?

Listen, if you wanna cut

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