Never Been Kissed Page #12

ALDYS:

NASA.

(beat)

Plus we have these really fun pizza

study groups, and we go to-these

all county meets. And, I mean, not

that you need it, and without

sounding too much like the

Godfather, I think we could offer

you a certain amount of protection",

if you know what I mean. We all

kind of stick together and watch

out for each other.

Josie smiles.

MUSIC UP:
SCHOOL HOUSE ROCK'S "Magic Three"

AS WE BEGIN MONTAGE:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY

Josie and Denominators walk down the hallway in unison,

past Guy's Group, open their lockers in order a la

"RESERVOIR DOGS", take out paper, pencils, calculators.

INT. - HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY

Josie and Aldys, both wearing big orange Denominator

sweatshirts, are behind a table manning a bake sale.

A banner behind them says: n = 3.14578697786978 Pie = $.75

No one is stopping to buy anything. Josie points to the

left, Aldys looks, and Josie stuffs a whole brownie in her

mouth. They laugh uncontrollably as Josie starts to choke

and cough up most of the brownie.

We PAN DOWN a row of nervous looking Denominator faces as

they watch Josie, sitting head to head against a DIGIT, an

opposing Math-a-lon competitor. They both work furiously

on a problem. A judge sits between them. A makeshift

scoreboard hanging off the desk shows the score is tied.

Josie bangs the bell on the desk and hands the judge her

card. He looks it over, and gives her team five points.

They win.

The Denominators erupt into cheers. They're jumping all

over Josie, going crazy. As we go wider we see the gym is

entirely empty, except for a handful of Denominators going

crazy on one side, and a janitor sweeping up on the other.

INT. MALL BOOK STORE - DAY

Smiling at each other, Josie and Aldys clutch books

excitedly and stand in line. WE WIDEN to reveal they're in

line with NERDY ADULTS also clutching their books. At the

head of the line is a blow-up poster for The New Elements

Of Grammar. An OLD MAN signs books for his fans.

INT. JOSIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

It's late. Josie is typing on her laptop, referencing notes

from her notebook. Schoolbooks and homework are spread

around her.

END MONTAGE.

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

Sam is perched on the desk. The usual players in their

usual seats. Aldys is standing and reading from her book.

ALDYS:

(reading)

"All the world's a stage and all

the men and women merely players."

SAM:

Anyone have any idea what

Shakespeare meant by that?

No one answers.

SAM:

Anyone? Sera ... Megan ... exchange

student who doesn't speak English?

We CU on the students, ending on an Asian boy who smiles

wildly at Sam and waves. Sam smiles, and waves back.

SAM:

It's about disguise, playing a

part. It's the theme of "As You

Like It." Can anyone tell me where

we see that?

ALDYS:

Well, Rosalind disguises herself

as a man and escapes into the

forest.

SAM:

Right. And it's when she's in

costume that she can finally express

her love for Orlando. See,

Shakespeare's making the point

here that when we're disguised, we

feel freer. We can do things we

wouldn't do in ordinary life.

CU on Josie's face. She's clearly uncomfortable. Sam walks

up to a huge football player, BRETT.

SAM:

Brett when you go out on the

football field in your uniform,

what happens?

BRETT:

We win?

SAM:

You hit people. You yell. You touch

other guys' butts.

The class giggles. Brett looks horrified.

SAM:

But it's okay, because you're in

uniform. Disguise changes the rules

(beat)

I had these Spiderman pyjamas. I

thought when I wore them, that I

had super powers. One night I tried

to walk up the side of the garage.

SERA:

Did you make it?

SAM:

To the Emergency Room. Yeah.

Josie smiles at this, a little smitten.

SAM:

Josie, why don't you read from Act

5, Scene 2, Rosalind's speech--

Josie stands up, starts reading--

JOSIE:

"No sooner had they met but they

looked; no sooner looked but they

loved; no sooner loved but they

sighed..."

JOSIE'S VOICE BEGINS TO FADE AWAY-

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY (FLASHEACK)

ANGLE BACK to Josie, now seventeen and mortified, nervously

standing in class and reading a poem. Billy Prince sits to

the side--she glances at him throughout the poem, it's

clearly about him.

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