Never Been Kissed Page #11

ALDYS:

Nice.

They stop and look around.

JOSIE:

How long will they watch us for?

ALDYS:

Until Guy tells them to go. Once

they watched me for like two hours.

I found my car the next day in the

T.J. Maxx parking lot.

JOSIE:

Why do they listen to Guy?

ALDYS:

(duh)

Because he's Guy Perkins.

(then)

Listen, you want to walk to Na-

Na's and get something to eat?

JOSIE:

Yeah. Let's do that.

They start to walk out of the parking lot. Josie is visibly

thrilled - having finally found a friend.

INT. NA-NA'S - LATER

Josie and Aldys share a huge plate of chili fries.

ALDYS:

Yeah - isn't it amazing that those

guys are our same age? I mean,

they just seem so much younger,

you know.

JOSIE:

Oh I know.

A WAITER delivers two huge chocolate shakes.

ALDYS:

I'm going to be so happy to get to

college. I hear at Northwestern

they don't make fun of you for

knowing the element table.

JOSIE:

Hey--I went to Northwestern!

(a beat)

Once. To use the bathroom.

OUT THE WINDOW, Josie sees her Buick with Rob at the wheel

stopped at a red light. Detailed on to the side in big

white script is:
"THE TIKI POST".

Josie's eyes widen. The light changes. Rob pulls away.

JOSIE:

(So angry)

Oh. My. God.

(a beat)

You'll really like Northwestern.

They both slurp down their shakes.

JOSIE:

So what are your hopes, your dreams,

what do you want to be?

ALDYS:

Professor of medieval literature.

Novelist. Weekend flautist.

Aldys takes another slurp of her shake. WE HEAR a muffled

cell phone RINGING.

ALDYS:

I think your knapsack is ringing.

Josie takes the cell phone out of her knapsack and answers

it.

JOSIE:

Hello?

WE INTERCUT WITH:

INT. GUS'S OFFICE - SAME

Gus speaks into his phone, knitting frantically.

GUS:

Geller, I got your message. What

the hell kind of story are you

pitching?!

Josie smiles awkwardly at Aldys, covering the phone.

JOSIE:

It's my dad. He worries.

(into phone)

Hi, Dad. I miss you too.

GUS:

You're a sick puppy, Geller.

Josie indicates to Aldys she'll be right back and walks to

the back of the restaurant by the pay phones.

JOSIE:

(into the phone)

It's an expose on cafeteria food.

GUS:

And you're leading with the terrible

truth about cole slaw?!

JOSIE:

Well, the bulk of it will be about

the pimento loaf--

GUS:

Geller...you wanna be a reporter?

Take a look at what sells! Sex

scandals. Bribery. People jumping

off buildings. So unless a kid

just killed himself because he was

being paid to have sex with the

school mascot in a big vat of this

cole slaw, you got nothing!

Gus slams down his phone.

JOSIE:

(into a dead phone)

You didn't taste the pimento loaf.

She looks back to the table where Aldys is dividing the

check.

EXT. TRACK - HIGH SCHOOL - DUSK

In the middle of the track is Josie's car. The MARCHING

BAND clumsily practices their formations around it. Josie

and Aldys arrive at the car and Aldys pops the hood.

ALDYS:

They love to disconnect the battery,

too.

She looks under the hood, reconnects the battery. Slams

the hood down.

ALDYS:

Just so you know, I think they

recalled these cars in 1974.

JOSIE:

Thanks.

ALDYS:

Sure. No problem.

Aldys heads to the lot for her car, and then turns around.

ALDYS:

Hey, Josie, how are you at Calculus?

JOSIE:

Petty good.

ALDYS:

How would you like to join The

Denominators? The Math Team could

really use a new brain. We lost

our best logarithm guy last year.

JOSIE:

College?

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