Never Been Kissed Page #10

They all just stare at Josie in disgust. Guy approaches

their table.

GUY:

I'm Guy.

Guy looks at Josie. He's beautiful. She's flustered.

JOSIE:

Yes you are. A guy. Guy. Quite a

guy. Oh my. Look at that--I rhymed.

(beat)

Yikes.

(beat)

Bikes!

GUY:

(very serious)

Are you in special ed?

Josie stands up, grabs her bag and her chocolate milk -

JOSIE:

Bye. Guy. Others.

She leaves the Cafeteria, passing a-couple of Denominators.

JOSIE:

(to herself)

Aaaah! How old am I?

DENOMINATOR #1

Approximately six thousand three

hundred and fifty days old-subject

to adjustment for month of birth.

This is very funny Denominator humor- to the Denominators.

Josie leaves the Cafeteria.

EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS - CONTINUOUS

Josie runs out an exit door and right into a SECURITY GUARD

GUARD:

You got a pass?

INT. GYM - LATER

A banner above reads "PRESIDENTIAL FITNESS TESTING THIS

WEEK." FIFTEEN SENIOR GIRLS, including Josie, in matching

green and yellow polyester gym clothes do sprints up and-

down the basketball court. Josie looks like she's about to

die. Ms. Brown yells as she passes.

MS. BROWN

move it Geller! Move it! Move it!

Josie stops, grabs the woman by the shoulders.

JOSIE:

Must--have--water--

MS. BROWN

What do I look like, your waitress?

Now you're gonna complete these

sprints, cause if you don't you

fail. And if you fail gym, you're

NEVER GETTING INTO COLLEGE!

JOSIE:

Oh--my--God--you guys are—still

telling that lie--?

MS. BROWN

That's it Geller--drop and give me

twenty!

Josie drops to the gym floor.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATER

It's - finally- the end of the day. Josie makes her way

down the hall, clutching her pad of paper, getting pushed

and shoved by kids as they storm outside. A huge banner

hangs overhead reading: "SIGN UP FOR SENIOR NIGHT!"

She tries to smile at some kids, but they all ignore her.

She makes it to the main entrance to the school, where we

see, as she shoves her pad of paper into her bag, it is

completely blank.

EXT. PARKING LOT - SAME

Kids fill the parking lot. Josie walks, talking on her

cell phone.

JOSIE:

(into phone)

Rhoda, make sure Gus gets-the whole

message, okay? Yeah--bye--

Josie arrives where she parked Bambi. The space is empty.

She still holds the phone to her ear--

JOSIE:

Wait a second--

(into phone)

No, not you--bye--

Josie shuts the phone, looks around...retraces her steps

... Bambi is gone.

Josie walks around the lot, getting visibly upset.

In the corner of the lot, WE SEE a group of Denominators

removing a BIG METAL CHAIN from around a group of tightly

packed cars.

ALDYS (O.S.)

They do it to all the new kids.

Josie finds Aldys standing next to her.

JOSIE:

Who's of they?

Aldys motions up to a second floor window. Guy and his

Group look down on them, laughing.

ALDYS:

Guy Perkins and his amazing

Lemmings. They push your car out

of its space, hide it, then watch

while you look for it. We've taken

to chaining ours together for

safety. I'm Aldys.

JOSIE:

I'm Josie. Aldys is an interesting

name.

ALDYS:

When it's not yours. My mom was

going through her Harlequin Romance

phase.

JOSIE:

Try being named after a guitar-

playing pussycat.

Aldys doesn't get it.

JOSIE:

Never mind.

(beat)

That is so awful that they hide

your cars.

ALDYS:

guess. Although, what is truly

awful is that with the combined

intellectual effort of every kid

in that room right now-

She points up to the biology room-

ALDYS:

They still would not know the

difference between a synecdoche

and a hyperbole.

Josie laughs.

JOSIE:

I know. It's pathetic.

Aldys stares Josie down.

JOSIE:

What?

ALDYS:

Well, do you?

JOSIE:

Synecdoche uses a part to represent

a whole- as in " head of cattle",

whereas a hyperbole is simple

exaggeration like "I could eat a

horse."

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