Never Been Kissed Page #9

Student bleets like a sheep O.S. Sam just stares at her,

smiling. Finally, he walks over and shakes her hand.

SAM:

Did I mention to the class that I

love our new student?

Josie beams.

GIBBY:

Did I mention that the class also

loves our new kiss ass?

Josie's smile quickly fades.

SAM:

Gibby, that's not exactly the kind

of participation I'm looking for.

Gibby looks right at Josie.

GIBBY:

(totally insincere)

Ooops. Sorry.

Josie just sits there, face burning.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATER

Josie approaches her locker. She can't get to it because a

COUPLE is busy making out against it.

A GIRL'S VOICE comes over the loudspeaker. She's completely

ignored.

GIRL'S VOICE

Hi. This is Sydney, Student Body

President! Okay, first. Bad news-

The' district didn't allocate enough

funds, so as of this afternoon,

there will be no music department.

Now, about Prom--

The entire hallway FREEZES. The couple breaks their clinch

and looks up. SILENCE. Josie is amazed.

SYDNEY’S VOICE

Voting on Prom theme has been

completed. And the theme is--

CU on expectant FACES.

SYDNEY’S VOICE

The Millennium!

PANDEMONIUM. Kids cheer, gasp. One GIRL faints.

The crowd surges again. Josie, caught in the flow, doesn't

notice a locker door flinging open. She smashes her face

right into it. Everyone, including Guy, turns and laughs.

Even some Denominators.

CUT TO:

CU:
A CAFETERIA TRAY

Moves down the food line. It's piled with unidentifiable

foods and three glasses of fluorescent red punch. Hands

pull the tray out of the frame. INTO FRAME comes another

tray, this one bearing a perfectly arranged place setting

with three celery sticks on a plate. WIDEN TO REVEAL:

INT. CAFETERIA - DAY

Josie, pulling the perfect tray down the cafeteria line.

She reaches some awful-looking Cole slaw in a big vat. A

CAFETERIA GUY in a plastic cap hovers above it.

JOSIE:

(to cafeteria guy)

Excuse me. What's in the Cole slaw?

The cafeteria guy hauls an industrial-size plastic tub

onto the, counter and turns it-so Josie can read the label:

"KOLE SLAW FOOD." Josie wrinkles her nose. She moves on

to the cash register.

CASHIER:

That'll be twelve ninety-five.

JOSIE:

(stunned)

Oh my gosh. Wow. That's... pricey.

CASHIER:

That's real meat in the ham

sandwich.

Josie turns to a GIRL in line behind her.

JOSIE:

Boy--that's a lot of bread for

that bread!

The Girl rolls her eyes, reaches past Josie to grab a

mustard bottle. Josie turns with her tray toward the room.

CUT TO:

INT. CAFETERIA - DAY (FLASHBACK)

4 KIDS stare at CAMERA and chant:

ALL:

Josie Grossie--Josie Grossie--Josie

Grossie.

ANGLE BACK ON JOSIE. She's seventeen. Standing with her

tray, paralyzed. The CAMERA SPINS, showing us her back.

There, tattooed in squeeze-bottle mustard, is "GROSSIE."

A boy stands behind her victoriously holding the mustard

bottle.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. CAFETERIA - SAME (PRESENT DAY)

Josie shakes off the vision and stares out at the crowded

cafeteria. She sees Kirsten, Kristen and Gibby, steels

herself, and decides to approach.

Kirsten is eating a bran muffin.

KRISTEN:

Kirsten, that bran muffin has like

75 fat grams.

KIRSTEN:

Nah uh.

GIBBY:

Yeah, I read this thing that one

bran muffin can be like two bran

muffins sometimes.

Kirsten pushes the muffin away.

KIRSTEN:

God. Food is so confusing.

JOSIE:

(to Kirsten)

Hi Kristen.

KIRSTEN:

It's Kirsten.

Josie plops herself down with these girls, and takes a

spiral pad out of her big knapsack. In the process, she

manages to spill her chocolate milk all over her white

jeans.

JOSIE:

That'll teach me to wear white

after Labor Day.

GIBBY:

Umm- I don't think you're supposed

to wear white jeans after 1983.

They all laugh. Josie fakes a laugh, too.

JOSIE:

Right, right.

Josie picks up her notepad and her pen.

JOSIE:

So - tell me about yourselves.

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