Never Been Kissed Page #23

KIRSTEN:

(impressed)

SHUT UP.

ROB:

Yeah. She's loaded. She spends all

her vacations on the family yacht

in the south of France.

They react.

EXT. TRACK - DAY

Rob stands behind the bleachers with Tommy, Jason, and

Guy.

TOMMY:

No way.

JASON:

She used to date the drummer for

The Big Bad Voodoo Daddys?

GUY:

No way. I always wanted to be a

drummer.

ROB:

Yeah well, she left him for the

drummer from "Sister Hazel." Y'know

the song "All for You?"

GUY:

That was about Josie?

(impressed)

Rufus…

INT. CAFETERIA - DAY

Josie turns with her tray after paying. Aldys sees her.

ALDYS:

Hey, Josie--I'm really sorry I

snapped at you. Do you wanna--

Josie sees Rob waving her over to "the table" where Kristen,

Gibby and the gang sit.

JOSIE:

Oh, Aldys, y'know, I have to--

And Josie walks over to Guy's table, leaving Aldys staring

after her. Josie sits down at the table. Everyone stares

at her.

GIBBY:

Hey Josie. It's Josie, right?

KRISTEN:

Can I just say--I totally love Ex-

Lax.

JOSIE:

(confused)

Okay, that's good to know--

TOMMY:

I can't believe you dated Big Bad

Voodoo Daddy.

Josie shoots a look at Rob.

ROB:

Hey, I told you--Josie doesn't

like to talk about that.

KIRSTEN:

Yeah, Tommy, that's totally gochay.

GIBBY:

I think it's pronounced gauche.

JOSIE:

Yeah it's French. There's no accent

aigue, so the e is soft.

A silent beat. Josie thinks she may have blown it.

GIBBY:

Duh, of course you would know that.

From being on your yacht in the

south of France.

They all smile at her. Josie soaks in her newfound

popularity.

INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM - DAY

On the walls are SAFE SEX posters. On the front desk,

pamphlets on sexually transmitted diseases share space

with plastic biology cross-section models of male and female

reproductive organs.

Sam stands in front of his English class, impatiently

looking at his watch. Josie looks up from her desk, sees

Anita waving wildly from the other side of the glass door.

Josie's eyes widen, she starts to make "get out of here"

movements. Sam notices Josie and follows her gaze to Anita.

He opens the door, speaks sotto to Anita.

SAM:

Hi. You're here for the sex talk?

ANITA:

(happily taken aback)

Well. I like a man who gets to the

point.

SAM:

You're Pam?

ANITA:

(frisky)

If you say so.

Sam turns to the class.

SAM:

Welcome juniors and seniors, this

is Pam Kitterman. She's our district

health counselor. She's here to

lead our sex discussion.

He ushers a surprised Anita to the front of the room. Josie

reacts.

ANITA:

I am? Oh, I am. Hi. Okay. Sex.

Yes, well, sex. What's to say

really, y'know? You like a guy,

you do it. Sometimes he calls.

Sometimes he doesn't.

Anita leans into Josie, talks sotto.

ANITA:

(whispering)

Hi!

JOSIE:

(also whispering)

What are you doing here?!

ANITA:

I had a lunch break so I thought

I'd come by and see you. Your

teacher is a fox!

(then normal voice

to Josie)

Why don't we discuss that after

class. But the burning is totally

normal.

(looking at watch)

Oh look. Class is over already.

SAM:

I thought this was a 45-minute

seminar.

ANITA:

Right. Right.

Anita walks back to the front of the classroom.

ANITA:

Okay, sex. Let's see. Sex is really

fun.

(off Josie's look)

When you're old enough. Which none

of you are, trust me I should know

cuz when you lose it to some guy

named Junior with really bad breath

in the back of a van at a Guns and

Roses concert you're gonna wish

you listened to your Mom when she

said, y'know, no one's gonna want

to buy the whole friggin ice cream

truck when you're handing out the

popsicles for free.

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