Never So Few Page #2

- How do you do?

- Won't you join us?

- Delighted.

Oh, Margaret Fitch, this is Miss Vesari,

Mr. Regas and Colonel Parkson.

So these are the twin legends

you were telling us about?

- You're disappointed?

- Oh, no. Not at all.

It's just that you are rather young

to be legends.

Well, we're over 21.

- How do you plan to spend your leave?

- No leave. No plans.

We could shoot off a couple

of firecrackers or something.

We should be able to provide you with

something more exciting than sparklers.

Any suggestions, Carla?

I think the captain

will fill up his time eventfully.

I could use a little help with that.

Would you like to dance?

Of course, my dear.

Have you been in India long,

Miss Fitch?

Several months.

Allow me.

Or is it a brand of ownership?

Not at all. It's just a good old

American salutation.

- It means nothing?

- Nothing.

You'd be surprised at some of

the customs of my people.

- Well, relax.

- I beg your pardon?

Let it go.

I'm a mild-mannered, soft-spoken man,

a gentleman and an officer.

And I never make a sudden move.

I'm very pleased to hear it.

And what's your rank

and serial number?

I'm cautious, conventional

and very, very careful.

And you're on the green side of 25.

You're put together

like a Christmas package.

And you remind me of a pretty girl

I saw in a perfume ad...

...before I became a lonely soldier.

And I, too, am looking for signs

of ownership.

Are you attached to

the handsome old gentleman?

You're amusing.

It seems to be one

of your more astounding traits.

- Name another.

- Your love of combat.

You even bring the war back here

with you.

Well, sometimes men brawl

to forget combat.

Captain Reynolds,

is this your first war?

It is definitely my last.

I think you love it.

Like most men, you relish war.

Miss Vesari, this may come

as a shock to you, but I do not like war.

What did you do back home?

I worked in my father's hardware store

in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Look at you. You're having

more fun than you ever had in your life.

You're off on a great adventure.

Living in the middle of a travel poster.

And all because you found in yourself

a rare ability...

...for violence.

You are a gifted killer.

- Somebody had to leash the dogs of war.

- Of course. You're patriotic.

A fighter for freedom.

All right. So I like war.

What do you like?

I like mature men, Captain Reynolds.

They ripen a girl,

if you know what I mean.

They know how to speak

to headwaiters.

They know how to behave in public.

But certainly a little thing

like an attachment...

...wouldn't make any difference

to you?

Hell, no.

However, I'm always interested

in improving myself.

What could you offer me?

I could send you flowers,

I could mow your lawn...

...I could buy you an ice cream soda.

- And we could hold hands in the movies.

- You tempt me.

But on second thought,

you couldn't even afford my cook.

- I'm not in the same league with-?

- The old gentleman?

Financially.

You are not in the same league with him

in any department.

Miss Vesari...

- ... can I see you again?

- Hell, no.

Nikko?

Yes, my dear?

Thank you for your hospitality.

I'd like to return it. We are going

tomorrow to our cottage in Kawagar.

Very rural. Very away from it all.

If you do ever get leave,

please stop around anytime.

- Good night.

- Good night.

- Good night.

- Good night, Miss Fitch.

I will see you in the morning?

Yes, sir. 0800, sir.

Good night, gentlemen.

Well.

Danny, you know anything

about this guy, Regas?

- Well-

- Supposed to be in shipping...

...but I think he's an opium smuggler

in wolves' clothing.

What about Carla Vesari?

She's quite a crock of curry.

Nikko Regas is a shy, retiring

bloodsucker of all trades.

- What about Carla?

- What do you suppose...

- ... Fred's doing with him?

- What do you suppose she's doing?

What she's doing with him is obvious.

I think we've exploited

the possibilities of this joint.

Waiter, check.

All right, Ringa. Out.

Out!

Now, look, Ringa, I don't-

Good show.

One minute, sir.

Back in a minute, sir.

Sorry about the delay, sir.

Any time the captain's ready.

About those guardians

of law and order.

Yeah, well, he shouldn't have

jerked me up like that, sir.

Any trouble or violence, naturally I

wanna be 1000 miles away from it.

But cops make me nervous.

Corporal, what did you do with them?

Oh, they're relaxing, sir.

They're sort of allies of ours. Don't you

think there might be repercussions?

Well, not on an official level, sir.

I mean, I know these guys.

They've got their professional pride.

They'll probably report they were

hit by a truck or something. Ma'am.

What about an unofficial level?

Oh, well, I'll apologize.

I'll buy them a drink,

ask to see pictures of their children.

Say, you know that big Indian fellow?

Well, he's got four kids.

What will it be?

Something big and brassy, sir?

- Yeah, that's fine.

- Charge!

Excuse me for saying so, sir...

...but you look terrible.

Inside of my mouth tastes like

the outside of a crocodile.

There's some toothpaste in here.

You can use it on your finger.

And water for rinsing out your mouth.

But I'd caution the captain

against drinking that water.

It has a tendency to cause ulcers.

Now, for swallowing,

I suggest the gin, sir.

Gin?

Yes, sir. Old Panther. Very, very popular

among the enlisted personnel.

You mean to say they drink this?

Guzzle it.

Like the old story about

the crap game:

It's crooked,

but it's the only game in town.

Well, where do they get it?

From me, sir.

I make it, bottle it, label it, sell it.

I even drink it.

God, you've got guts.

- You interest me, Ringa.

- Well, thank you, sir.

Knock off the "sir" detail.

You ever seen any combat?

Here and there, sir, a little bit.

Well, where and where, a little bit?

New York City, mostly.

I've seen action in Williamsburg,

Hell's Kitchen, Yorkville, Weehawken-

Well, of course, that's in New Jersey.

Funny part about it is, since I've joined

the Army and the war started...

...I've led a comparatively

sheltered life.

Well, you're gonna be

about 10 minutes late.

Good morning.

He's waiting for you.

- Good morning.

- Good morning, sir.

Good morning.

Well, what can I do for you?

I want a doctor, Fred,

and I want one right away...

...or you won't have

a single Kachin left.

Did you fly down here

just to bicker about doctors?

Among other things,

but most important, the doctor.

We've only been here a few hours,

but I've seen 10, 15 doctors.

Where they coming from?

Where they going?

I'll listen to anything you gotta say.

But just who do you think you are?

You and your jungle wallahs

coming here, flexing your muscles.

You're not the only guys

fighting a backwash war.

We're the only guys without a doctor.

Find yourself an unassigned doctor

and I'll tag him for your outfit.

- What else?

- Morphine and medical supplies.

Those guys have been dropping them

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes