Never So Few Page #3

in egg crates, busting them.

I'll demand extra care in packing.

Give each medical chest a double chute.

What else?

What's being done to take

pressure off the Kachins?

Forty thousand Nips are rolling down

from Ubachi Air Field. Forty thousand.

There's a strike scheduled for Ubachi.

We'll throw everything at them.

- When?

- You'll be the first to know.

- What's the catch, Fred?

- Catch?

- What are you up to?

- Want you and Danny to take a holiday.

Pick any rest area in the Himalayas.

Take two weeks.

Holiday?

No.

Out of the question. I couldn't

stay out of the hills for two weeks.

Kachins got by for hundreds

of years before you...

...and they'll get by long after

I spit on your grave.

At least for another two weeks.

Which you will take, and that,

as we desk colonels say, is an order.

We'll take the two weeks,

providing...

Providing?

Providing the Kachins

are moved out to a rest area.

- And?

- We get Ringa.

- Who?

- R-I-N-G-A. Your driver.

Why, he's a kid.

He's a baby-faced kid.

- Is he?

- We want him.

You got him.

Where do you want to go?

Kawagar.

Kawagar?

Yeah, you heard what the man said.

Like to go up there and think things over,

like getting a doctor for my campaign.

- And a few other things. Right?

- Right.

- Colonel.

- Goodbye, sir.

- Do you have a reservation for Reynolds?

- Yes, sir.

- Captain, letter for you.

- Thank you.

Oh, we're invited to a party tonight.

By Mr. Nikko Regas.

How did he know?

There's something spooky

about that man.

How can you say that?

He's the squarest shooter

on the road to Mandalay.

I wish I had a copy

of Who's Who in India.

Or the Bombay Police Blotter.

I'd like to look up friend Regas.

Anybody who invites us

to a party can't be all that bad.

And let's not bite the hand

that buys the booze.

Some cottage.

Very rural.

Stately, but rural.

You can bet he didn't get it

by trading beads with the natives.

Welcome, allies.

Mr. Regas.

We didn't realize you were

tossing a gala.

Oh, nonsense. This sort of thing

goes on every night.

But I want you to consider this

your home in Kawagar.

Your foxhole away from

your foxhole, so to speak.

Now, after you've enjoyed all this,

perhaps the pool might amuse you.

And tomorrow,

the gymnasium, the stables.

Stables?

Yes, I have a few Arabians.

Ex-polo ponies. They hack quite well.

Carla rides every day.

Jeannine.

That takes excellent care

of the captain in any language.

Now...

I say, how about some caviar instead?

Carla.

- How are you?

- Very well, thank you. Nice to see you.

Break any nightclubs lately?

Could I interest you in some caviar?

European seeks Chinese doctors...

...lawyers, merchants and thieves.

You're a terrible poet.

Mr. Regas throws quite a net.

- He has many friends.

- And much money.

It's just like Indianapolis,

except this goes up and down.

- Isn't it beautiful?

- It is.

You live here with Nikko?

I want to tell you something, captain,

and then perhaps you'll let me alone.

I live here with Nikko.

So why don't you go back to the hills

and play with your popguns.

I still think he's a little old for you.

Your innocence is touching.

Do you really think the young have

all the advantages of the world?

I was thinking of certain advantages.

Tell me about Nikko.

He buys and sells things,

in seven languages, at all hours.

Nikko tells me you ride every morning.

Not every morning.

Would you ride with me tomorrow?

Perhaps.

- Danny lived like that once.

- For a while, but I couldn't stand it.

So I came back to the world

of men and their commodities.

I couldn't stand that either.

Hey, you all right, chum?

I feel a bit clammy.

Too much nightlife and lazy living.

- You come here often?

- Yes.

The sadhus-

I don't know how to say it-

Fascinate me.

They believe in prayer and contemplation

and take no interest in worldly pleasures.

Might set you a good example.

I could never make it.

I no longer qualify for the state of grace.

I've been a soldier for three years.

What do you believe in?

Live and let live.

It's funny when you think

of the business I'm in.

Danny, what is it?

I always get a bit shaky when

there's an attractive girl around.

He has typhus. Better

get out of here, all of you.

I haven't got typhus.

I beg your pardon?

I have not got typhus.

You have a medical degree?

What is your opinion?

Cerebral malaria.

Cerebral malaria.

The tests will tell.

I'll make them at once.

- He's right. Why don't you leave.

- No, I've seen typhus and malaria.

He's got malaria.

- Let me out of here!

- Wait!

Let me go. I'll kill you!

We're gonna have to tie him down.

We have to sweat him

to break his fever.

Yeah.

Take it easy, Danny.

I obtained his medical history

from headquarters.

He's had cerebral malaria.

It's obviously flared up again.

He was trying to tell me.

How long has this been here?

A little over three minutes.

Nothing more to do

except keep sweating him.

Fever's breaking up.

Quinine in the morning.

- He shouldn't be moved for a few days.

- Of course.

I'll see him tomorrow.

Good night.

- Good night.

- Good night.

Good night, doctor.

What are you trying to do,

bring me back alive?

You scared the hell out of me.

- I put on a good show, eh?

- Smashing.

Now, you get some rest.

You've near ruined my leave as it is.

You wouldn't dare go and have fun

and leave me flat on my duff.

Don't be ridiculous.

Of course I wouldn't.

I feel like an old serial.

- When does the train run over me?

- Oh, shut up and go to sleep.

How's the Englishman?

- He'll live.

- And the American?

He'll live too.

And you?

I'll live forever.

I'm going into China for a few days.

Would you like to come with me?

I'd better stay here, if you don't mind.

We have guests

and one of them is ill.

Carla, dear,

beware of sickbed scenes...

...particularly against

a background of war.

A man and a woman

hovering over a sickbed...

...make an abomination of romance.

She sees him as a selfless,

devoted pillar of strength.

He sees her as tender and merciful,

a ministering angel.

- So, what happens?

- The patient dies?

No matter whether he lives or dies,

the romance is a success.

Nikko, dear, I hate to dispel

your fantasy, but-

Now, let me dwell just for

one moment on the American male.

They're absolutely insidious, Carla.

They're full of the lonesome

prairie and the smell of tumbleweed.

They're sincere and dedicated,

and your Tom Reynolds-

Really, Nikko, he's not

my Tom Reynolds.

Your Tom Reynolds is no exception.

A regular Abe Lincoln in North Burma.

A girl like you

with a sophisticated palate...

...is a pushover for the type.

What a terribly civilized man you are.

You never lose your balance.

Let me be honest with you.

I understand appetite,

and I know what it is to want things.

But I must tell you something

rather disagreeable about myself.

I'm a bad loser.

If I stay with you, Nikko...

...it won't be because

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