Never So Few Page #4

I'm afraid of you.

In this day and age, my dear...

...fear is a very good basis

for a relationship.

I thought an old monkey-lover

like you would appreciate it.

When I was a kid, my grandfather

took me to the circus.

There was maybe 20, 30 monkeys.

I thought they were

all of the monkeys in the world.

Tell me about when you were a kid.

Well, I was a sneak and I was satanic.

That's enough.

Tell me about your grandfather.

He was a sneak and he was satanic.

He told me he could never trust a

man...

...who claimed that he never

hankered for women.

"Hankering"?

Hankering.

To hanker...

...means to have a strong desire

for something or someone.

- In this case, a girl.

- I see.

You hanker.

I hanker for you alone.

Don't sweep me off my feet.

What would you like for Christmas?

A 12-foot statue of your grandfather.

No, be serious.

We jump off on December 25th

and the days are getting shorter.

You are the most depressing

seducer I ever fought off.

Then don't fight.

And then what?

Your jungle, hand in hand?

Or should I wait

until you can take me...

...to live above the hardware store

in Indianapolis?

Don't. Please, stop sniffing

around me like an animal.

You know the kind of world I want.

And you know the kind

of world I've got.

You've got a few

boyish notions about love.

I know love's reality.

Let's go back.

Nikko will be waiting for me.

He's in good shape.

I won't have to see him again.

Well, when do I get out of here?

You mean, when will you

be ready to play soldier again?

Three days.

When will you be ready?

Ready? For what?

We needed you in our outfit.

And I put in a request for you

and it was granted.

The request was gr-?

You might have asked me

how I felt about it.

I'm not interested

in your considerations.

We needed a doctor and you're it.

We take a plane in three days

and bail out over the Kachin hills.

- Bail out?

- Bail out.

- You mean?...

- Jump.

Parachute, old man.

We'll see about this.

He's gonna love it up there

in the hills.

- Good evening, sir.

- Good evening.

- How about dinner with us tonight?

- No, thanks. It's more comfortable here.

Carla.

Carla.

Carla.

Carla.

Carla.

I'm in here. Come on in.

I'm sorry. I must have

misunderstood you.

Come in and sit down.

How is Danny tonight?

Oh, he's-

I guess he's all right.

When do you think it will be over?

The war, I mean.

I don't know.

It may never be over.

When it is over, what will

you do back in America?

I've never thought about it.

I may never go back to America.

Relax.

Where would you go?

I better stay in the jungle.

It's a lot simpler there.

Tom, wait.

Please, wait.

Wait for what?

Must it be like this just because

I'm not in the market for an affair?

Oh, you're in the market.

It's just a matter of price.

I know when I'm well off.

Do you now?

Is that why you invited me

in your bath?

Don't be so provincial. In Japan,

men and women bathe together.

This is not Japan,

and you well know it.

It was a mistake. I'm sorry.

- Does that satisfy you?

- No.

Your stern Midwestern

morality is so refreshing.

All right, you wanted me

to squirm, so I did.

But there's another thing.

I don't like striking out

until I get to bat.

You've got the wrong girl.

Wrong place, wrong time.

Okay. I'll see you get a Good Conduct

Medal to add to the rest of your loot.

Meantime, let me pin this one on you.

You're very sure of yourself.

I am now.

I kissed you, lady,

and you kissed me back.

- You-

- I got the message.

This, lady, is the Staten Island ferry.

We've sent the kids to my mother's...

...and this is the first time

we've been together in a week.

Hi, junior.

Little Petey just got over a cold.

We've had the chicken pox bit.

And you said,

"Get me out of the house, or else. "

How many children do we have?

Four, and Jenny's on the way.

Do we have room

in the house for Jenny?

Of course. I'm gonna

move out to the fire escape.

Carla.

And I have one of those wonderful

American wraparound electrical kitchens?

Giant economy size?

- The payments are breaking me.

- All the food is frozen, no?

Nope. Your place, woman,

will be at the stove...

...whipping up pasta, minestrone,

lasagna and zabaglione.

What do you want for tonight?

Lasagna.

In the summer we go to the country.

And the children drink goat's milk.

At Coney Island?

Is that where one gets goat's milk?

Yes, darling,

that's where you get goat's milk.

I'm going to miss you.

Where I'm going

nobody smells of soap.

I shall worry about you.

Don't worry.

I'm not your responsibility.

That's precisely why I am worried.

It was fun though, wasn't it?

That's the way I am.

A lot of fun with a heart

as big as the Himalayas.

That's not what I had in mind.

I've been looking for answers

to certain problems.

I don't think I've been asking

the right kind of questions.

Well...

I'm falling in love with you, I think.

Are you sure?

I can't be sure of anything.

But I know one thing.

I didn't figure it would

turn out this way.

You tripped over your own shoelaces.

No.

I realized that I wanted somebody

to come back to. And I want you.

Stay alive for yourself.

My plans include you,

all of my plans from now on.

Please, Tom. We'll talk about it

when you come back.

Let's talk about it now.

You change your address.

Tell Nikko it's over. Finis.

Tell him you're going down

the social scale.

You've taken up with a no good Gl...

...who's gonna keep you barefoot

and pregnant and on the edge of town.

We're gonna be married.

I'll be back.

Learn to cook.

Here's your spot, captain.

Hit the silk.

Happy landings, doc.

Maybe I should've practiced.

What's the sense of practicing what

you can only do wrong once, doc?

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Well...

...a little breast of peacock,

water buffalo...

...and the tiniest dollop

of monkey brains.

I'm a hairy brute

with an empty stomach.

Merry Christmas, Dua.

- Hey, what do you use for bait?

- Hand grenade.

Grenade.

That's a funny way to kill fish.

Or people.

Well, hi, boss. Hey, old Dad's...

...kind of on a Yale-afternoon drunk.

Hey, did you see what

Billingsly got me for Christmas?

He went out on a mule-buying

expedish- Expedish...

He went out to buy some mules,

and he came back with this.

I took her off his hands real cheap.

She's fine, boss, she's really fine.

I am humble before you, Dua.

I have heard great tales

about your many battles.

No, wait a minute.

She's pretty nice, huh?

And if you're interested, chap,

then the line forms- Come here.

Let her go, Danforth.

You fixing to pull rank, sir?

You're a big man with the bars, huh?

They come off easily enough.

Well, don't you worry about it, because

I'm gonna take them off for you. Okay?

The whites are sure restless tonight.

The line forms behind me.

Give me that gun and get on your job.

What's happening?

Ringa.

You won't need that, sir.

They're gone. It was hit-and-run.

You wanna hold that there, sir?

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