New York City Serenade Page #3

It better be

from last Sunday's paper.

Owen?

Owen?

Owen?

What?

There's a customer who says

her photos are too dark.

- Owen?

- Tell Mr. Smork.

I did.

He told me to tell you.

They're all dark and fuzzy.

You can't even tell

what you're looking at.

Well, sometimes with

these disposable cameras...

I paid 25 bucks for

three of those goddamned things

and now you're telling me

they don't work.

I didn't say they don't work.

These are my

vacation pictures.

- Well, I...

- This is all I got to look at

from two weeks

in Myrtle Beach.

- What am I supposed to do?

- What I was going to suggest...

- Two weeks in Myrtle Beach!

- Quit f***ing yelling at me.

What's going on?

I, uh...

I was just trying

to get my film developed.

Yes, ma'am.

What seems to be the problem?

There was no need for him

to scream like that.

I'm sorry for screaming...

Go back to

the developing station.

There was no need for him

to scream like that.

Oh, I agree.

And oh boy, is he gonna get it.

(knock on door)

Good morning.

I just stopped by

to let you know

I'm heading downtown

to the warehouse.

You look beautiful in sage.

Uh, I thought...

Lois went to

the warehouse on Thursday.

No...

Yeah yeah yeah, she did,

but remember, she got all the way down

there and didn't have the right keys?

She had the right keys,

just for the wrong cabinets.

I thought she got everything

on Thursdays. I thought...

- (phone ringing)

- No no no, she didn't.

- That's why I gotta head down there...

- Where's the log?

Did you do something

different with your hair?

I got a perm...

awhile ago.

Looks great.

You look really great.

So I'm gonna head down there.

I'll... I'll be back.

You know, it's probably gonna take me

the better part of the day,

so I'll see you tomorrow.

You listen to me, boy:

Do not talk to the customers,

period.

Understand me?

That is not your department.

That is my department.

I have the training.

You do not have the training.

Understand me?

Man, I'd like to get with

that Rosario Dawson.

Yeah, I'm sure she'd

love that too.

Where the f*** are these guys?

Lord knows neither one of them

has a goddamned job.

Here they come.

F***! You guys wore

a suit coat too?

- So everybody wore a suit but me?

- Because you're an idiot.

What do you think you wear

to a funeral, dickwad?

Guy wears a red sweatshirt

to be a pallbearer.

Come on, let's get out of here.

You look like a retard

going on a field trip.

- F*** off.

- Come on!

Let's just get this over with.

Hey, who's got the directions?

I do:
Take the Lincoln Tunnel

to the Turnpike.

Yeah, then what?

Don't worry. I'll let you know

one step at a time.

Would you just give me

the directions?

Smork is such a prick.

I can't believe I

graduated film school

and I work in

a f***ing photomat.

Buddy, you graduated from the School

of Video Arts on 30th Street.

- So?

- It was a four-week course.

So?

I still graduated.

Hey, we could give your boss

a couple of crank calls.

- That'd really f*** him up.

- Yeah, that's a real good idea.

- Imbecile.

- Remember last time we did it?

He got all spooked

and closed early.

- Freaked him out.

- Let's do it. Use Terry's cell phone.

"Let's do it.

Let's use Terry's cell phone." Idiot.

Terry, seriously,

give me the directions.

Just keep your eyes on the road, man.

I'll navigate.

Man, you couldn't navigate a trip

to the john, you neurotic...

Okay. Okay.

Let's all take a nice pill.

He's right. We are, after all,

on our way to bury a man.

(giggling, laughing)

Whoo! Oh! Oooh!

(piano playing)

(music continues)

Hey hey hey hey.

Thanks again for coming.

You guys were a big help.

- No, it was fun.

- Hey, you get some food?

I'm starving, man.

I wouldn't mind something.

Dude, they got baba ganoush,

three kinds of smoked fish,

trout, potato salad,

garbanzo salad, tongue...

- Let's just take it easy there, man.

- No, that's what it's there for, man.

That's what the food

is there for:
To eat.

I'm starving.

I wouldn't mind something.

- Russ.

- What? There's a whole tableful.

Guys guys guys, please,

just go get some food.

- It was a really nice service.

- Man, it was really nice.

Yeah, I really liked

that thing you read.

It was from...

from "The Hobbit."

Whose place is this?

My aunt's.

She survived the Holocaust.

Wow.

My dad used to live in the apartment

upstairs before he died.

Wow.

- You guys want to come see it?

- Now?

Yeah, right now.

It's like floor-to-ceiling junk.

You can have

whatever you want.

- Jesus, Russ.

- What?

You think you got

enough food there, Russ?

I can always go back

and get more. What were you saying?

I was telling these guys you should

check out my father's stuff.

- Dead father?

- Yeah, l...

Whatever you want, I mean it.

I don't even want to look at the stuff.

Maybe another time.

You don't want to go

through that stuff today.

No man, that's cool.

I just want to get rid of it.

I mean, I'll take a browse through

if you want to get rid of stuff.

All right.

I'll go get the key.

Great.

- Are you f***ing crazy?

- What?

What?

Take whatever you want.

Take it all.

Awesome.

Shouldn't, you know, your family

go through this stuff?

Trust me,

they don't want any of it.

I have to use

the toilet. Excuse me.

Jesus, he's really tweaked.

Okay...

This dust is killing my allergies.

- Russ:
Holy sh*t.

- Leave that stuff alone, Russ.

- He said we could.

- (piano increases)

Let me use your cell phone.

Is everybody going to

be using this thing now?

It's brand new. It's a freakin'

technological device; it's not a toy.

Don't be an ass.

It's not a pay phone, all right?

It costs money every time you use it.

- That makes sense.

- I got this thing for work.

I didn't get it so we could all

make prank calls to our bosses

- and call our girlfriends.

- Check it out!

This sh*t's vintage.

They sell this for like 50 bucks.

Take it off, you weasel.

(phone ringing)

- Hey.

- Hey.

- How was the funeral?

- Christ, what a nightmare.

Matt's buzzed out of his skull.

- Oh, no.

- Yeah.

He's in there giving away all

of his dead father's possessions.

Oh, poor guy.

And the worst part is

I'm in Jersey.

Well, it's nice that you're

all there for your friend.

Remind me never to go in a car

with these guys ever again.

How about you?

How you doing?

I'm good.

What do you want to do for dinner?

- I'm taking you out.

- Wow.

Okay. Where?

II Buco.

What's the special occasion?

Because I love you.

I love you too.

- Meet me there at 8:00.

- Okay, hotshot.

Bye.

- Lynne?

- Karen?

Hi!

- Oh, you look great.

- You too.

Gosh, I haven't seen you

since your wedding.

Well, you're just in time

for the divorce.

Oh no, Karen.

I'm so sorry.

- Not me.

- What happened?

- Have you got time for a cup of coffee?

- Yeah, sure.

Great. I'm just waiting for my friend.

She's inside paying.

Here she comes.

Lynn, this is my friend Rachel.

- Rachel, this is Lynne.

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