Newlyweeds Page #2

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we all have our capes,

we can go through on the real

true magical adventure.

Are you guys ready?

Okay, but you have to put on

your super duper wizard walk.

And it goes

a little something like this.

Whoa!

Do you do

the wilderness tour as well?

Yeah, yeah, I do.

Oh, great. Well, I'd love to

take your card.

I'm actually bringing my

fifth-graders here on Friday.

And the kids

certainly loved you.

But you could just ask for me

by name. It's fine.

Okay, umm, well take care.

Thank you so much again.

Oh, guys, come on.

Hey!

I love you, Miss Nina.

Bye, Miss Nina.

You smell like my dad.

What?

Thank you again.

Come on, guys.

Excuse me. How you doing?

Excuse me. I have to go.

Mmm.

Why are you following me?

I know you, you know.

What you mean--?

Don't think

I don't know you.

I not stealing. I can buy and

sell you. I don't have to steal.

I don't even know what you

talking about right now.

What de ras

you following me for?

You're making a scene right now,

you crazy lady. Cool off.

That is bearshit

you're doing. Stop it.

What de ras you following me

for? That's my Frigidaire!

Hey, Miss, your cart.

So, what does this tattoo mean?

Oh, it's a pit bull.

It's my dog, you know,

with "Brooklyn" on it.

That one's my little

trouble monkey right...

Speaking of trouble...

Yo, come on, son,

what you doing?

What, bro?

I'm talking to my friend here.

You supposed to be

looking out for old ladies,

not young chicks.

I'm just talking to her.

She's, like, 12, yo.

I'm 16.

Yo, you gon' go to jail.

Nah, she's, like, 18.

I don't mean to be

disrespectful, miss.

But you got to get

the f*** out my seat.

This ain't no f***ing school,

bro.

Yo, slow the f*** down.

F*** are you?

Excuse me, please.

We're f***ing working here,

some grown-ass man sh*t.

Excuse me.

"Excuse me"?

Yeah, you don't got to go

nowhere. Don't worry about it.

Is that...

Hey! Hey!

Hey!

That is my Frigidaire!

Work with that, pussyclot!

Ah! You crazy b*tch!

Yay, baby!

Hey.

Your eyes are red.

What happened?

Long day...Hey Michelle

Yo, you want a Hector Bravo?

He doesn't drink.

I already told your ass,

you'd get your money tomorrow!

Oh, sh*t! It's Rent To Own!

Ah! F***! Cocksucker!

The f*** are you

doing down here?

Bring your black ass down!

Bring your black--

C'mon, baby! C'mon, baby!

The sofa!

Move your fat ass out the way.

Shoot this nigga!

I got something for you!

I got some news to tell you!

Come on, turkey!

I f***-- Oh!

F*** me!

Got something for you,

you f***er!

Work with that, pussyclot!

Yo! Yo, I'm-a get that b*tch.

Yo, you want a...

What are you doing?

Karate in the mirror?

It's kung fu, yo, kung fu.

All right.

Oh, so what you got here?

Oh. Umm...

Two for Three

came through earlier.

So, I copped a little extra.

So, what's this, like,

your little personal thing?

What? No. No, that's...

We can share that.

That's... You can have

some of that if you want.

That's, like,

just in case we run out.

Right.

Yo, wait, Nina, Nina.

Where you going?

No, it's okay. Do your thing.

What? I just...

What you talking about?

I just wanted to

take a little...

I just wanted to unwind,

take a second, you know?

It's cool. Nobody's stopping

you. Just unwind.

I'm done. I'm done unwinding.

I'm unwound.

I want to hang out.

Can we hang out? We'll do that.

How are we supposed to

go to the Galapagos

if you're buying a bag

every two minutes?

What?

I was looking it up.

So, if we fly to Quito,

it's, like, $500.

But we would have to backpack

through, like, South America--

Whoa.

You can't actually live there.

Whoa.

I... I thought we were

just, like, burning.

I mean, like, I thought it was,

like, weed talk, you know,

like, dreaming and smoking

and you know how we do.

You are so lame.

I was... Whoa, whoa.

I didn't mean that. I didn't

mean that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Yo, look.

Don't be mad at me right now.

Don't be mad at me. I'm wild

blazed, had a bad day at work.

I want to go somewhere.

I do. I do. Look. Look.

$30.

You got a box or something

somewhere? What's up?

Where the Galapagos box at? Hmm?

You're not funny.

I'm not... I'm not trying to be

funny. I'm being serious. Here.

Be my friend.

Be my friend, please.

I need a friend.

Everybody been all mean

to me today and stuff.

'Cause you're a jerk.

Come on. Yo, can I borrow

your one hitter?

No. Why?

Work.

Why do you need it for work?

Look, man.

Ah, sh*t, man, she saw me.

Gon' lock that B-Y-T, man,

I dare you.

Yeah. Man, can you believe

that sh*t there?

Spilled out the side of 'em

like a tip of a cigar.

Them some hard loving women,

man, hard loving women.

Mm-hmm. Sh*t, why you think

I got these cataracts?

B*tch put roots on me.

I ain't seen

out my left eye since.

Mm-hmm.

Afternoon, sweetness.

Let me get that for you, baby.

Wit' your fine self.

Looking juicy today. Alright...

Sh*t, man. That's what I tried

to tell her, man.

Nah, ain't nothing slick

to a can of oil, baby.

Ain't nothing slick

to a can of oil.

Ma'am, my name is Chico.

I'm the Ethnic Artefacts Curator

here at the museum.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Hi, yes, umm, hi.

I just have a question for you.

There's been

some suspicious activity

going on around here

at the museum.

And, uhh, I need your help.

Could you keep

an eye out for me?

Yeah.

if you see anything

remotely looking like this.

Is that...

Mongolian hash. Bam. What?

But how did you know that--

I know my people, okay?

What, you thought I was some

sort of official, didn't you?

You were walking all fast behind

me. I didn't know.

I'm wearing green pants.

How official is that? Come on.

Come on. Come on. Talk to me.

Talk to me. Talk to me, sister.

Nah, man,

I'm talking about Julius,

run the elevator

down at the "Y".

Yeah, man.

He got them

Shalamar tickets, man.

Oh, man.

You know Howard Hewett

done got off

that narcotic, right?

Yeah, Jody Watley

got her thing together too.

You know she had

that thyroid condition.

Hold that, please. Thank you.

Whoa. Where did you get this?

I did some whaling out in Canada

with some buddies of mine.

That's genuine walrus tusk.

You been to Canada?

No, I haven't.

Ah, it's amazing, big.

Everything's big:

caribou, glaciers, big.

Hey, hey. Do you have any grass?

It smokes better if you lay

the Mongolian on top.

I let my boyfriend borrow

my one-hitter.

I didn't bring anything with me.

Goddamn.

Well, if it's cool with you,

the three of us can smoke.

We can just come back to your

place. And we'll smoke it up.

Yeah, that'd be cool.

Cool, all right.

I can meet your man.

Excellent.

Yeah.

What the ras are you doing?

You're not taking it.

Motherf***er, you're not

taking my Frigidaire.

You're not taking my Frigidaire!

I paid $15 every week

for over a year!

And that's more than twice

what the damn thing is worth!

We just doing our job.

I not take-- You're not taking

it. You're not taking--

It was infested. It infested me

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