Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian Page #3

- It could get complicated.

- We'd better hurry,

we only got 28 minutes till sundown.

When you get down to B level,

you want to take another left...

- Nick? Hello? Nick?

- Dad! Can you hear...

Nick, you're... Nick!

- ID, Brundon.

- Hey.

- Later, dude.

- All right. Yeah.

All right. Where are you guys?

Oh, my God.

You little troublemaker.

I'm gonna deal with you later.

No. No! No, no, no!

No, English. English, perhaps.

I'm sorry, who are you?

I am Kahmunrah,

the great king of the great kings,

and from the darkest depths

of ancient history,

I have come back to life!

Perhaps you did not hear

what I just said.

I am a centuries-old Egyptian Pharaoh.

I was dead,

but now I have come back to life!

Yeah, no. I heard that.

I got that. Welcome back.

- Who are you?

- Larry Daley. Daley Devices?

It's up in New York. It's funny,

I know your brother, Ahkmenrah.

- Do you?

- Yeah.

He knows baby brother.

The favorite son.

- Yeah, good kid.

- Isn't he just?

You know, Mother and Father always

gave him the best of everything,

and I do mean everything.

They even gave him the throne.

The throne which was rightfully mine!

- He never mentioned that.

- I'll just bet he didn't.

Well, now begins the era of Kahmunrah,

because I have come back to...

Never mind, just hand me the tablet.

- Don't give it to him, Gigantor!

- Keep him away!

Silence! Silence in there, please!

- Don't make me come in there!

- No! I won't be muzzled!

Look, that tablet is more powerful

than you, Larry Daley of Daley Devices,

can possibly imagine.

Bringing things back to life

is just a parlor trick.

With it, I shall unlock

the Gate to the Underworld

and bring forth my army

from the Land of the Dead.

So, if it's not too much trouble...

...hand it over.

Okay, here you go.

Wise decision.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, I thought

you wanted the Cube, but...

The Cube?

The Cube of Rubik.

All right, what is

this Cube of Rubik, then?

The Cube. You know, the one

that turns all who oppose you to dust?

That one? Whatever. I thought...

It was my bad, 'cause...

You know what? By the way,

your brother didn't want

to mess with it, either.

Yeah, he wanted to play it safe, too.

Just, you sort of struck me

as a next-level sort of guy, so I was...

I am not my brother, Larry.

I will kill you and your friends

in the blink of an eye.

Now take me to this Cube of Rubik.

- Here it is.

- Open it.

Come back here!

Come back here with my tablet!

I still have your friends!

- Take the wheel!

- What?

I said, take the wheel! Oh, we're

in it now! I love it! I love it!

Just keep her straight,

I'll handle the rest.

Now, charge!

- Okay, so what's the plan here?

- We're Americans! We don't plan, we do!

Now hold on!

See that? Act first, think later!

Works every time!

You're in good hands!

General George A. Custer

of the Fighting U.S. 7th Cavalry,

at your service.

I'm good, I'm good! Fly, you fool!

What's the rumpus, ace?

Look, lady, could you

get out of the way?

Lady? Who are you calling lady?

The name is Amelia.

Amelia Earhart!

Perhaps you've heard of me?

Oh, right.

You're a famous pilot or whatever.

Pilot? I was the first woman

to fly the Atlantic!

First woman to receive the Flying Cross,

first woman to fly across the 48 states

in a gyroprop.

Now if you'd wipe that perhaps-permanent

look of alarm off your kisser,

I was wondering if you might be so kind

as to tell me exactly where I am.

You're in a museum.

Or, actually, under it.

And I'm in kind of a dangerous

situation right now,

so you might not want to be

anywhere near me.

- Wow, you're fast.

- What's your name, flyboy?

My name is Larry Daley.

Well, Larry Daley,

in case you weren't listening,

I'm not one to shy away from danger.

How about spears?

Are you one to shy away from spears?

Let's ankle, skipper!

Now we're gonna have some fun.

Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, bingo!

Like a Golden Fleece.

All right, troops,

when your enemies captured me,

they made themselves

my enemies as well.

Big mistake. Big mistake.

All right, here's the plan.

On the third bugle blast,

I shall loudly announce, "Attack!"

At which point,

we will all jump out of this box

and attack.

Mind bomb. What do you think?

You, Sacaja...

That is not my name.

- Sacajamea.

- No.

- Sack-in-a-box.

- No.

- Cinco de Mayo.

- I know you are a famous general...

That's all right, that's all right.

I'm a person, just like you.

But won't yelling, "Attack!"

alert the enemy

that we are about to attack?

What?

Yeah, I guess so.

You're quite the popular fellow,

Mr. Daley.

Why don't you just skedaddle?

I can't skedaddle.

My friends are being held down there.

I got to go get them.

I got to find another way down.

This is new.

Hey, it's all right.

I don't want to hurt you.

I don't think it's you

they're afraid of, Mr. Daley.

Trade you. Thanks.

Back off! Just back off!

I will fork you!

How about you, huh?

Never send a boy to do a woman's job.

I spent two weeks spear-hunting

with a tribe in Micronesia.

The Micronesians had

much slower reflexes.

Come on!

It's over! It's over! It's all over!

Well, this is one humdinger

of a hootenanny.

Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me.

Wow, four bars in 1945.

- Hello?

- Dad, finally!

I've been studying

these plans to the Archives.

Looks like once

you get down the stairwell...

Oh, I'm way past the stairwell, Nicky.

- So you found everyone?

- Sort of.

What is that flibberty-widget

you are talking to?

- Who's that?

- It's Amelia Earhart.

You found Amelia Earhart?

I... Hey!

- Wait a minute!

- Buddy, what's your hurry?

- Didn't you hear? The war's over!

- Sorry. These guys are chasing me.

What? What am I looking at, Mardi Gras?

- What unit are you from?

- I'm from Brooklyn.

What? Are you serious?

I'm from Flatbush! Hey, fellas!

These so-and-so's are trying

to rough up my pal here

just 'cause he's from Brooklyn!

- Thank you!

- You got it! Fight!

Hey, mister! You forgot your...

What the heck is this thing?

Excuse me. Mind if I get in here?

Any time you're done, Mr. Daley.

- Call me!

- Thank you for that.

So you're quite the smooth operator,

aren't you, Mr. Daley?

Quick!

- That actually worked.

- What's next?

Look, nothing personal, but I'm kind of

in the middle of something here

that's not really your fight.

It's because I'm a woman, isn't it?

No, it's because I've got this ancient

raised-from-the-dead evil Pharaoh guy

who's willing to kill me and probably

anyone near me to get this tablet

so he can rule the world.

So it is because I'm a woman!

- Look, I...

- No, you look, Mr. Daley!

If it weren't for me, you'd still be

lost in that monochromatic mayhem!

- Lost in what?

- Black and white photo, you boob!

Now listen, and listen good.

I can help you.

I want to help you, and not because

I like you, which so far I don't,

but because I smell adventure,

and, damn it, I want in.

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