Night of the Living Deb Page #4

sir, I do not know What that looks like.

I'm just saying that we should celebrate

planting a tree with the children,

rather than destroying one.

"We"?

- Yeah, you know. I mean, people, Earth.

- A-huh.

But you said "the children".

If you meant children in general,

you Would've said something like...

Oh, my God!

That sweater!

Ruby?

Honey, are you okay?

Look out!

Well, it looks like she's

full-on zombie, let's jet.

- Wait! We can't leave her like that.

- What do you suggest?

Tap, tap.

Use our bullets on her'?

It's the right thing to do. Besides,

you said you don't want to use them.

But the gun's in the car.

Here.

You distract her and lead her outside.

I'll do the rest.

Hey!

Sale on flesh over here!

Ruby?

Deb!

- What's going on'?!

- Get on the roof! Trust me!

I don't trust you!

Aah! Ooh! Uh!

Yahtzee!

Did I hurt you in a past life or something?

I just thought maybe you're right. Maybe

they'll find a cure for this some day.

- Well, if I can change one mind.

- Hey...

You saved a zombie, kid,

you didn't undo apartheid.

Okay, let's go find your peeps.

Hang in there, Rubs.

It's up here on the right.

Good. That's Stacy's oar.

I'm glad she knew to come here.

Yay! So glad Stacy isn't dead.

Look, Deb, I hope this isn't going to be...

Are you out of your mind?!

What? We both agreed we're

not going to leave this car again.

Until we get here, yeah! Obviously,

we have to get out to collect them.

- We don't even know if they re in there.

- Trust me, they are.

We always get together on the Fourth.

It's my dad's favourite holiday.

Well, prepare yourself.

They may not be the people you remember.

Oh, I have no doubt they'll be

unrelenting flesh-eating monsters,

but I bet they won't be zombies. Okay.

I deserve the things I want.

My needs are worthwhile.

I'm not hurting anyone by being myself.

What are you doing, Rain Man'?

I like to take a second to centre

myself every time I come here.

I deserve the things I want.

My needs are worthwhile.

- I'm not hurting anyone by being myself.

- Er, er... I want to be supportive, an' all,

but is this mantra much longer?

Oh, man! What is it again?

Well, why don't you try

Stacy/s phone number.

Will you just give it a rest, all right'?

You're like the Terminator of sarcasm.

I drove you here, in my car,

and you've been treating me like I'm just a bag

of wet diapers that you have to lug around.

Well, that actually sounds less shitty

than whatever we've got going on now.

Oh, wow! You know, I thought that

you were a cool guy back at the bar,

but now I find out you're

some spoiled pretty boy.

Excuse me, "pretty boy'? I have

a very masculine set of features, okay?

If anything, my look is "burnished rugged".

Nobody who is that says that!

- I do.

- Your hair has not moved this entire time!

It's thick, it requires maintenance.

You have no idea!

You haven't taken a shower since

yesterday and yet you still smell

like sandalwood and lilac!

Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to distract you

from being the weirdest person in the world!

Uh!

God, Chaz!

- Did you change the gate code?

- Depends.

- How do I know you're not... one of them?

- Because I'm speaking in words.

- What about her'?

- Gimme a break, Chaz!

Hi, I'm Deb.

- Will you knock it off'?!

- You're Ryan's big brother?

- You're so... different.

- Thanks. We think he's adopted.

Oh, that never gets old.

Can we please come in'?

We've had really a long day.

So, wait, excuse me, wait.

What are you'? Are you the rebound'?

Oh, busted!

How did you know, dude'?

You're probably an uncle now.

No!

- I knew it!

- No, no, that's not...

- Stacy/s here, right'?

- Oh!

She told me all about

your big breakup, stud.

Looks like you didn't waste

much time moving on now, did you'?

No, that's not...

We're just helping each other.

I'm sure you are. Huh!

Deb, I'm Chaz.

Clearly the more masculine

of the two Waverly brothers.

Good shot.

- I aim to please.

- Okay!

Open the gate!

- You need the code, man.

- Okay.

- Do you want it'?

- Yes!!

Okay, it's five, eight, zero, zero eight.

That's... It's "B*OBS" upside down.

- Wow!

- Yeah.

A gentleman, too! Ooh-la-la!

Thank you, Chaz.

Oh! Shoot!

Dad';

Woah! This is, like,

straight out of Mitchell Black!

Ryan! Oh, my Rye-bread, you're all right.

- We thought for sure...

- No, no, I'm... I'm okay.

Hey, Stacy, did you meet Deb'?

She came here with Ryan, together.

- Where did you creep up from'?

- Oh, I just... came with Rye-bread.

They helped each other get across town.

God knows What they had to do

to survive. Isn't that swell?

So helpful.

- Do we tip her or...'?

- It was nothing.

It was just one hand stroking the other.

Friends with benefits, as they say.

- I'm glad you made it.

- Oh!

Dad! Dad, look...

I've been thinking, I'm really sorry for

What I said on the phone last night.

I've been thinking all day

and I was worried

those would be the last Words

we ever said to each other.

Could I see you in the kitchen for a moment?

I need a little help with my brownies.

Mr Waverly? Hi.

Hi.

I always help him with the brownies.

- Hey, Deb, how much you bench'?

- Right now'?

- Yeah.

- Forty?

How could you be so boneheaded'?

- Stacy/s here. She's not family.

- Stacy/s inner circle.

She's been here since last night,

for God's sake.

- She has'?

- The point is,

I spoke with the Governor on the shortwave.

He's arranged a chopper evac at

the county line at 0900 hours tomorrow.

- For the four of us, not five.

- I'm sure Deb can squeeze in.

Oh! You're a big man

now all of a sudden, huh'?

Why did I not get the memo?

Well, this is bigger

than you are, smart guy!

And you'd know that if you'd

listened on the phone last night,

instead of blathering on

about your principles.

Wait, so you knew fast night that

people were gonna turn into zombies'?

N0, no, no, no.

These people aren't... what you said.

They re just ordinary citizens,

who happen to have contracted

a parasite-borne virus that makes

their corporal bodies decompose

and gives them an insatiable

appetite for human flesh.

Oh, my God! The water.

Now, Ryan, come on,

it's just a very complicated situation.

All right'? We haven't got our arms

around all the details yet.

Well, get your arms around this,

Deb's coming with us!

- That's not an option.

- If you leave her out, I go too.

I promised her I would get her out of town

and I'm keeping that promise.

Mm!

- You can't talk, Stacy, While I'm shooting.

- I didn't.

So you're saying people became zombies

last night if they drank the city water'?

Or bathed in it,

which explains how you were spared.

Stacy, Deb is my guest. Please!

I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just going by

the look of her hair and face and clothes.

But, Ryan, you take a shower, like,

every ten minutes. Why didn't you turn'?

Unless...

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Hi-ooh!

- Longest walk of shame EVER!

- No, no! That's not...

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