Nine to Five Page #3

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Your grandmother will pitch a fit if

she even hears you mention marijuana.

She doesn't understand moderation.

You talk about how harm springs

from excess. Right?

- Okay. Yes, I know.

- I'm talking about one joint.

Okay. I don't like it, Josh.

How long you been waiting

for this promotion?

Slip it in my purse.

- It works!

- You did it.

- What?

- Now, don't go flying off the handle.

You gave the promotion to Bob Enright?

- I've got seniority over him.

- I know.

- For chrissake, I trained him.

- I know, but the company feels...

The company, bullshit. It's your

decision. You promoted him. Why?

In the first place,

Bob does have a college degree.

Brilliant! While he's at college

getting his degree...

...I'm working my butt off.

- And he does have a family to support.

- And I don't?

- What does that matter?

- My hands are tied.

The company needs a man.

Clients would rather deal with men

when it comes to figures.

I lose a promotion because

of some idiot prejudice.

You're intimidated by any woman

that won't sit at the back of the bus.

Spare me the women's lib crap.

I know how you feel. I understand.

- You understand ziloh.

- I understand I'm still the boss.

You might be valuable out there, but get

ahold of yourself. I won't take this.

- Goddamn it. Doralee, get in here!

- Okay.

I told you to fix the chair.

Okay. But I'm gonna tell you

one thing before I go:

Don't you ever refer to me

as your "girl" again.

What are you talking about?

What are we gonna do about this chair?

I'll tell you what I'm talking about.

I'm no girl, I'm a woman. Do you hear?

I'm not your wife or your mother

or even your mistress.

- What?

- I am your employee.

As such, I expect to be treated equally,

with a little dignity and respect.

- What do you mean, "mistress"?

- Never mind, she's upset.

The whole company knows

you two are having an affair.

- Who's saying we're having an affair?

- Who's been saying it? He has.

What?

- Violet, where are you going?

- I'm gonna get drunk.

Attagirl.

You tell everyone

I'm sleeping with you?

That explains why they treat me

like some dime-store floozy.

- They think I'm screwing the boss.

- That's not it.

You love it, don't you?

It gives you a thrill, like knocking

over pencils and picking up papers.

Get your scummy hands off of me.

I've been straight with you.

I put up with your pinching and staring

and chasing me. I need this job...

- ...but this is the last straw!

- Let's just sit down and...

I got a gun in my purse and, up to now,

I've been forgiving and forgetting.

If you ever say another word about me

or make another indecent proposal...

...I'm gonna get that gun and change you

from a rooster to a hen with one shot!

Don't think I can't do it!

Sh*t.

- Where are you going?

- I need a drink.

I'm taking the rest of the day off.

Attagirl.

What do you want?

This is important. I just heard one of

the girls commit a serious infraction.

- What?

- Maria Delgado was in the restroom...

...speaking to some girl, when I

overheard her reveal her salary...

...and make estimates

of yours and mine.

Get rid of her. Dismiss her.

It isn't as if she hasn't been warned.

In my memo...

Did you hear what I said?

Fire the b*tch!

What?

- I don't believe it! Fired for that?

- It's okay.

- I wanted to spend time with my kids.

- But it's so unfair.

- We've got to do something.

- Sure, let's all revolt.

Don't you get in trouble for me. It's

not worth it. I'll find another job.

It was hard for me to work

full-time anyway.

I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

- Does Violet know about this?

- No.

She's down at Charlie's, getting drunk.

Well, I'm gonna tell her.

This is a disgrace.

Attagirl.

What a rat.

What a liar.

What a creep.

To think he told everybody

I was sleeping with him...

It's so unfair. Just so unfair.

Twelve years of service,

and he shoots me down.

We've got to do something.

He can't treat people like that.

Do? What's to do? Quit?

- I can't quit.

- It's the same all over.

Look, couldn't we just

all get together and complain?

- Complain to who?

- We're in a pink-collar ghetto.

Let's have another drink.

- This one's on me.

- I've got it.

- It's my turn.

- I've got it.

- I've really got it.

- What's that?

Violet, I didn't think you smoked.

This is a gift from my son.

Let's go to the ladies' room

and light up.

Is that a marijuana cigarette?

There's not enough for everybody.

Come on.

- We can't. Someone might come in.

- It is dangerous.

Would you two show a little spunk? I

mean, what are you, a man or a mouse?

I mean, a woman or a "wouse"?

Let's go to my house.

My husband is at a singing gig.

We could have ourselves

an old-fashioned ladies' pot party.

To tell the truth,

that stuff don't do much for me.

I smoked a marijuana cigarette

at a party once.

I could never figure out

what the big deal was.

- Threatening Hart with a gun?

- And he knows I've got one too.

I keep it right here at all times.

All I can think,

he must have peed in his pants.

- Have you ever fired it?

- Have I ever fired it?

Really, just once.

Right after Dwayne bought it for me.

I was coming home from this rodeo

in Dallas with a girlfriend...

...and two men started to hassle us

and wouldn't let up.

I was gonna be big

because I had a gun.

So I reached to get my gun, and

I shot a hole clean through my purse.

- But they ran off.

- I bet they did.

Like turkeys.

Wow.

This is... This is really good pot.

- What did you say it was called again?

- Maui Wowie.

Well, I love it.

It's primo.

I don't think I could ever

carry a gun.

I don't understand guys like Hart who

shoot those defenseless animals...

...like Bambi and Thumper

and that cute, little skunk.

I'd like to hunt Hart.

I'd like to chase his lily-white tail

and see how he likes it.

I think she's stoned.

Thumper.

- Am I stoned?

- I think you're stoned.

- It's so funny!

- What's so funny?

I have this image of Hart

running for his life...

...and the whole office is out to get

him and hunt him down.

There he is!

Get him!

Kill the bastard!

Who's there?

Hello, Hart. Looks like you've

gotten yourself in a spot of trouble.

Judy?

You've got to help me.

That mob is trying to kill me.

- Why would they do such a nasty thing?

- I don't know. I'm not such a bad guy.

You're a sexist, egotistical,

lying, hypocritical bigot.

I have a few faults.

Is that a reason to kill me?

You're foul, Hart...

...a wart on the nose of humanity,

and I'm going to blast it off.

Judy. Judy. Judy.

Goodbye, boss man.

It's quitting time.

- You can't mean this.

- One, two, three, four...

Why me? I'm just an ordinary guy

trying to do his job.

- ...eight, nine...

- Holy sh*t!

...ten.

Hi.

That's great.

I have just wrecked my diet,

but I love good barbecue. Don't you?

Dwayne fixed these last night.

- That is so wonderful.

- These olives...

Everything tastes so wonderful.

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