No Way Jose Page #5

What is?

Out here on the deck.

Yeah, no.

Sorry, I thought

'cause you were looking at the phone,

I thought maybe...

No, I can chew gum and look

at art at the same time.

No, I wasn't

suggesting otherwise.

Um, so, what the hell, man, how you been,

Summer?

You look great.

What is that?

What?

What, what?

Come on.

Come on, what?

Can't a half-brother visit his half-sister,

you know, without...

Look, I didn't just like fall off the

ice cream truck or whatever, you know.

I don't want you to feel like you

can't come to me in a crisis.

Okay. Thank you. Okay.

Here's my...

But I'm...

I'm not an ATM, you know?

I'm your sister who loves you.

No, and I you.

What?

I love you.

Okay, that's good.

Okay.

Yeah. Um...

Yeah. It's just that my car,

my car, Summer...

It's just like...

I think it's...

You know?

Yeah, it's just...

Okay.

If I could just get

like first and last.

You know, I think I could probably

cobble something together.

Well, what about the bookstore?

I'm sorry?

You could go back to that,

right? Your...

Yeah, the bookstore. Um...

Who's your friend? Lawrence.

He gave me Lolita.

Does he still work there?

God, that's disturbing.

Yeah, yeah, he still

works there ever since

he dropped out

of Harvard 22 years ago.

And I think he was just

promoted to register.

Genius, genius!

Do you have a YouTube channel,

Jose Stern?

Well, the Borges have videos up there.

Is that what you mean?

No, no, no, like a channel.

Like a YouTube channel.

Right?

So if you think about it,

this whole place

was built off my old

YouTube channel.

Without the makeup tutorials...

Yeah.

...I never would

have gotten my own show.

There literally would be

no Totally Bonkers.

And we would be falling

through the air right now

because there would be

no deck here.

That's funny.

Um, yeah, okay.

So you're...

I'm sorry. So you're suggesting

I do makeup tutorials or...

Um, well, maybe not that

'cause it's kind of my thing, but...

Hey, what about

your instruments?

Don't you have, like,

a lot of really old

instruments and you can

sell them.

They're probably, like, worth some money,

right, because they're old?

Yeah, no, they're old and they're

worth something, but I just can't...

And that's not...

What?

No, Summer, I can't, I can't.

I can't sell my gear.

Why?

Just because I can't.

Okay, you know my song,

Hugs and LOLs?

Okay. So that whole song was made

on a computer. No instruments.

Wow. That's good.

No, I know people do that.

That's just not

really my, like...

Like I'm not a big MIDI guy.

What is a MIDI?

MIDI, well, it's how

you made your song

without instruments, basically.

No, no. I said I used

the computer.

I did it on the computer.

No instruments.

No, I know. You're right.

Um...

I guess...

Here's the thing, Summer.

My car is just like,

at this point, is a planter.

t doesn't work?

Right.

Why doesn't it work?

It just doesn't work.

Okay.

I'm really sorry about that.

That's terrible.

Yeah, if there's any way

I could just...

Look. Jose,

you're my brother,

I'm here for you, and I love you.

And if you need to

springboard for spitballs,

I'm your girl. That's me.

But I feel like it's not

healthy for either of us,

if I just keep

lending you money, you know,

because you don't

really have a clear path.

You know,

you have your whole life in front of you.

Maybe not your whole life.

But I really think you should try

and focus on finding a good path.

All right. Right. Yeah.

Amazing.

What is?

My friend just wrote, "Amazing."

I was just reading it.

Do you ever

wonder what it would be like

to wake up to discover that

the world is your oyster?

Come to Mexico and find out.

Take a dip in the pool

and discover what's waiting for

you just beneath the surface.

Mexico, where all

the strangers are perfect.

There's no better time

of year than right now.

Here at Mexico where your

memories are waiting.

Call now for amazing offers

- Cometomexicorightnow...

I'm glad you

picked up the phone.

Yeah, I am, too.

It's good to see you.

Yeah, I was surprised.

What happened to your whole,

"All exes are dead to me

"and never pick up the phone"?

You didn't read the statute

of limitations clause?

Lawrence didn't

Facebook you that?

No, I missed that.

Yeah, well, after four years,

I pick up the phone.

You know, maybe if you kept

it in your pants, who knows?

It was really awful

what I did to you.

It was.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

No, it's all right.

That point in my life,

it was all dance,

and I was on the road,

all these old demons coming out.

All these old choreographers.

God, he was so old.

God.

He had the most f***ed up feet

you've ever seen in the history of the

world. Really, 'cause I was really...

Just picture gnarled tree roots.

Gnarled...

No, I don't want to. No.

Okay. Probably for

the best. Yeah.

Yeah, thanks.

Yeah, I think so.

My therapist said that

I was in a fugue state

so I basically f***ed

you over from a dream

if that's any

consolation to you at all.

Really. Thank you.

Fugue state?

Was this a certified therapist or a...

Mainly a cat psychic, but...

Okay. Yeah.

...dabbled in

human psychology.

Okay, well, then, there you go.

But let's get real.

I mean, we were together for four years.

You were never gonna propose.

You don't know that.

You don't know that.

Okay.

Well, what happened with the latest one?

Daisy was her name?

Dusty.

Dusty.

We actually were engaged.

You were? With, like,

a ring and everything?

I mean, I was saving up for the

ring 'cause, you know, yeah.

So, I'm sorry,

I'm just having a hard time picturing this.

Were you on bended knee?

I was... Um...

Not exactly. I was

lying down, as it turns out.

Yeah. Okay, so it was

our third anniversary,

and Mickey was staying with us.

He was... You remember

Mickey, right? Okay.

And he was, like,

hiding out from this ex-Marine,

like, psycho brother

of this girl

that he'd picked up

at Rockaway Records

who was like kind of

a little shy of 18.

Classic Mickey.

Yeah, they fell in love over

a Steve and Eydie record.

Well, then

in his defense, I mean,

it was safe to assume she was at least 50.

Yeah, exactly.

It's heavy. It's heavy.

You don't seem to understand.

No, I understand.

I hate hockey.

Why couldn't he play badminton?

Okay. All right.

All right.

What's wrong? JOSE: I can't...

It's just my neck, it's just my neck.

Okay. Okay, what can we do?

I just...

What?

God.

I think I'm having a stroke.

- A what? A stroke?

- A stroke?

Yeah, I don't know.

It just came to me.

Kate's Pilates instructor

just had a stroke

a week before, and I

had stroke on the brain.

So to speak.

Right, so to speak.

Well, you know,

you did start to develop neck problems

when we'd been together

for about three years.

No. I always had...

I always had neck... Really?

No. I always had

neck issues.

Okay.

Okay, anyway,

so the EMTs arrived, right?

I think you guys are gonna

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