No Way Jose Page #7

Yeah, I got this.

All right.

Thanks, that's great.

Yeah.

Hey, what...

Dr. Bob. Hey.

How about you just call me Bob?

Hey, Bob, how you doing, man?

Great, great. Yeah.

Good, good. Good.

Hi.

How's it going?

- Great. How are ya?

- How you doing, man?

- Good. I'm really good. Yeah.

- Good. Good.

Bob.

All right.

Thank you so much.

It's a real pleasure. Yeah.

Yeah, no sweat, Mickey.

You guys have a peaceful night.

Okay, man, you too.

All right, thanks. All right.

It was good to see you, man. You be well.

- Bully stick.

- Yeah, the bully stick.

I'll look for one

of those bully sticks.

You're always complaining that

you've never been with a black.

What?

A black?

A black woman!

Jesus Christ, a black woman.

A black woman.

What do you think I meant, a black man?

Shut up!

There could never be...

I don't know.

Dude, what you mean, you don't know?

You didn't ask him?

I was blinded

by his charm, okay?

I mean, I was like

literally putty.

I mean, that guy is so charming,

you forget how handsome he is.

He is a really attractive individual.

No, he's handsome.

Christ. I don't understand.

I mean, I thought she'd go find herself.

I mean, I'm fine. I'm...

But I mean,

now she's dating some guy

that she went way out of her

way to emphasize was asexual?

I don't think she's dating him.

I think he's in there just...

Killing her.

That's the kind of guy that has

a cryogenic freezer

in his basement.

You would know.

I would know.

So now this is a murder mystery?

No mystery.

This case is closed.

Jesus Christ!

Jesus Christ, what the f***, man?

I mean, that's my house there.

I mean, that's my...

I mean, I'm not on the deed, but I mean...

You know what?

F*** this, man. F*** this.

I wanna go... I wanna meet exotic women.

I wanna meet...

You know what we're gonna do?

I'm dead inside.

So we should go

where life began.

Outer space?

Africa, man.

No, no, no, no.

Why would you wanna go there?

You gotta take a lot of

antibiotics to go there, Joe.

What about Sweden? You always said

swarthy guys fare well in Sweden.

Yeah, we do. But I can't go back.

I made some enemies.

What're we doing?

Gonna swim there?

Just go to the bar.

I don't have the clap.

You have to be...

See the whole family's asleep,

so you be quiet.

Shh.

I like your family.

I know you do. I love them.

Enjoy your family.

Thank you. Good night. Bye.

Okay.

What am I doing, man?

It's f***ing... It's only 2:00 a.m.

Los Angeles shuts down,

but I don't.

I gotta lot of...

I'm gonna get the party...

You know what?

Whatever you do,

don't play that piano.

I know it's a little late

I hope I don't wake your state

I feel like my ultimate fate

is to masturbate

That's not a bad f***ing idea.

No.

"Pick the girl

of your dreams."

African-Swedish.

Hi there.

My name is Jerome Kern.

Gotta make it good, nice.

Let's make it pretty.

That's nice. I mean,

maybe not the world's

most appropriate hooker music,

but it's your night.

It's your night, buddy.

I mean,

I'm completely backwards.

Okay, I gotta relax.

You're an hombre.

Okay.

F***. F***.

Ambien or Ativan?

Ambien or Ativan?

F***! Which hand?

God damn it, which hand?

This song is beautiful.

It is, isn't it?

Who is it?

Bridget St John's her name.

She's like a '70s folky,

you know.

She's still around, though.

My friend Jake, he makes me these

tapes off of his old records.

It was nice.

It was really nice.

It was.

Then why are you still scowling?

I'm afraid that's permanent.

No!

Yeah.

Botox is really the only...

Man.

...answer at this point.

Yeah.

Let me see.

Put your head here. Okay.

You're gonna...

Are you gonna...

Are you gonna operate, Doc?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you a shaman?

No.

What if you're...

What if you're a neurotic collector?

A what?

Well...

It's come to my attention that

I may be a trifle neurotic.

And since you're so stunning,

stable, perfect,

then you must have a fatal flaw.

And it's gotta be that

you collect neurotic people.

Yeah.

If I told you I wasn't

a neurotic collector,

would that make

you feel any better?

No. Probably not.

Right. So you're just gonna

have to trust this. Sorry.

There's gotta be a catch.

You're a catch.

If you say so.

I say so.

Yeah, I'm your yang.

Yeah.

You're my scruffy yang.

Jose! Jose!

What is it, Kate?

My God!

My God!

Kate, listen very carefully.

Get Gabe. It's a home invasion.

Home invasion.

Home invasion, Gabe!

No, Gabe!

I'm coming!

What the hell?

What's happening?

What's happening?

Is it a friend?

You get her?

God, you're gonna

need more than a racket!

Jesus Christ,

I haven't even had shitty kids yet.

Go, go, go, go.

God. My God.

I'm not wearing any pants.

Kate, I understand

what's happened here.

I thought it was a Manson deal.

So, are you Swedish?

Like Wild Strawberries,

did you ever see it?

t's about an old man,

and he's going over his whole life...

What is it, chicken?

I'm not chicken, I'm a Violet.

Um, Honey, I'm not so sure

that doing that with

your mother's underwear

is the best idea.

Why not?

Well, it's probably

gonna just stretch them,

and, you know,

I bet you it doesn't feel too good.

It feels very good to me.

Hey, Gabe!

Gabe!

Gabe!

Gabe!

I'm a little above my pay grade.

Yeah, there's a...

Yeah.

...crazy clown

situation here.

Don't forget,

Violet has ballet after school.

I know. I know.

Don't snap.

I'm projecting

from the other room.

Here.

Hi. Hi.

Here's Uncle Josie. Yeah.

Hi, Fred. Hi, Fred.

There you go.

You're so happy.

Hey, buddy.

Ambien's pretty strong?

Kate, I am so sorry.

Gabe screwed up the order so

you're in charge of picking up

more paper plates, cups,

kazoos and funny hats. Got it?

That's okay, yeah.

There's gonna be a lot

of kids here tomorrow

so ixnay on the pills and whores, yeah?

Yup.

Enjoy your day.

It's okay. He's not so bad.

I love you, Fred. Bye.

I like gum and you like cheese

Together we go to the Gymboree

I like fruitcakes,

you like pies

Together we know

that's just not right

I don't know. I like cats.

I like cats, I like...

All right. Cats...

I like cats, you like hounds

I am lost

I once was found

Probably for the best.

Okay, all right. Jesus.

I need a safe haven.

Jesus Christ, the Yelp girl?

Such a big mistake,

such a big f***ing mistake.

You should never play

Misty for these girls.

I know, I know, but I actually

like that tune. It's so stupid.

I need a place to stay

just for a while.

No, pal, honestly,

a hooker woke Kate's family up in

the middle of the night last night.

Probably not a good idea.

What about Lawrence's place?

I can't... He can't.

He's staying at my place.

Besides, he's

convinced his apartment

is being bugged

by the bookstore.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah, I'm hoping

he'll meet my stalker

and they'll diffuse each other.

Sure, you're very sorry. But do you

have any idea how badly you have...

The kids aren't here, are they?

No, Gabe took them to the park.

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