Normal Adolescent Behavior Page #3

- It's like dip-shitty 1957.

- So...

Yeah.

- One Olsen.

- No!

- That's all I'd ask for.

- Uh-Uh!

- I don't need both of 'em.

- No way.

I just need one.

If I could have one,

I will be

so happy and stuff.

Really, it'd just be... I don't

know, completely delicious,

- and in the event...

- And then, there's another one?

You can just do it

all over again.

You wanna do it again?

Then go. Two times.

Double the pleasure,

and double the fun.

- Suck on that.

- Wendy, it's your turn.

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

- What?

- You can't mess with that.

- After...

- Oh, really?

Let's see. I am puttin'

in like a penis.

Oh, thank God.

You know, I'm so sick

of everyone taking out.

You know, it's like first,

you put it in the box

and cry for whatever

dumbass memory it stands for,

and then you fish it out,

saying you want it back.

- It's like...

- Crying?

- Who's crying?

- You know what I mean?

- It's...

- Who's crying now?

I'm crying.

I'm totally crying.

- No tears.

- I feel sad.

No tears.

- That was a gift.

- No tears.

What's left

in Senorita Price's box?

Yeah.

It's like, "Ooh, this is

the black nail polish I wore

when I wanted to be Goth."

Wait. What's it like?

- Hey, it's my box!

- It's like, "Ooh."

I can do whatever I want.

Hey, in more ways

than one, honey.

- Good point.

- It is your box.

Thank you.

- Wendy, you're putting that in?

- Yes.

Hootchie necklace,

in it goes.

- That was a gift.

- You know what?

You're the one always saying

that we shouldn't apologize.

I don't think

we're a f***ing joke.

I don't think it's funny.

- I'm funny.

- You're freakin' hilarious.

Okay, either Abraham Lincoln...

- Whoa.

- Or me at 12 years old.

Double whoa.

F***, that's such

a good answer, man.

Yeah, I never

thought of that.

Right there.

Well... I went.

- We all went.

- We all went.

You f***ers

gonna help me clean up?

- No.

- No.

Dude, you have

a f***ing maid, man.

I wish I cared.

I really wish I cared.

Who'll report back

to my f***ing dad, man.

- I heard you.

- I wanna get up.

I'm uncomfortable.

- We suck.

- Eat it.

Oh.

I think Price got

really cute this summer.

Can we stop

using that word, "Cute"?

Bunnies are cute.

Pet rats are cute. Men are sexy.

They're not really men

yet, though, are they?

- They will be.

- And they'll be our men.

Mm...

And in 10 years,

they'll be the strongest,

smartest men around,

and they'll be all ours.

Mmm. In 10 years?

Yeah, in 10 years,

I won't be here.

Why not?

What, after

all you've invested,

after almost 17 years

of training, of learning?

What, you just think that

you're gonna start from scratch?

Are you serious?

What... What's your plan?

Are you just gonna get a big

mansion in Utah or something?

- We'll all live together!

- Yes! Oh, yes!

- You'll see.

- Yes.

We'll all

go to college together,

and we'll get houses next door.

Hello.

- Oh!

- Ow! Aha!

Oh, my head!

Aah!

You have

like 16 split ends.

Shut up.

Do you think that

when we go to college that...

Shh!

This is the best time.

This is the time

when we don't have to think

about things like college.

It's Sunday.

You're a genius.

Shh. We're supposed to be

having our quiet Zen time.

Ooh! Schedule! Give.

It's almost identical

to mine.

What, you didn't hack

into the computers,

get us all

in the same classes?

That would be wrong,

and I'm never wrong.

I have seen you so wrong.

Besides, if we all have

the same classes,

we wouldn't have an opportunity

to meet anybody new.

There isn't

anybody new here, sweetheart,

except

maybe the preschoolers.

No. Sean.

He moved in next door to Wendy,

went out with Allyson.

Remember

when tongue touching

was like the weirdest

thing in the world?

You know, you think that...

that kissing somebody new

is kinda like that, like...

like touching tongues?

Think I totally skipped

tongue touching

and went straight

for tongue wrestling.

I seem to recall.

I recall you were

my willing victim.

That's what I remember.

Aah

Oh, yes,

ain't nothing classier

than a girl who'll go down

on you in a basement.

I love that you are

the arbiter of class.

Yeah, me too.

Mmm!

Hey, jealous.

Oh!

- Mmm!

- Hello.

- Mwah!

- Mwah!

- Hey, guys.

- Hello.

Hey, guys.

Rarr rarr rarr

rarr rarr...

I think what Sophocles

is saying is that man...

like people,

like man and woman,

they're in this battle

that can't be won.

But they have to fight,

you know,

'cause they have this nature,

this, what do you call it,

nature?

Mm-Hmm.

Like a Sicilian.

Right on.

That's great.

Ahem.

I'm just a guy.

I'm not the man.

You can contribute.

Go ahead, talk.

Okay, uh...

Well, see, I actually...

I think you mean, um, Sisyphus.

Oh. Wait, we don't...

We don't, um...

We don't correct people.

Um, we... You know, we...

We gather together,

and we add things,

and we contribute

and discuss,

but we don't correct.

Uh, everything that's brought

to the circle has merit.

Do you have anything

that you wanna contribute?

Promethean.

- Wendy?

- If you're gonna help him out,

you might as well

really help him out.

Promethean, not Sisyphean.

Oh, and for the record,

not everything

said here has merit.

Scheisse.

Hey, will you walk me home?

Yep.

- Bye.

- Cool.

Love you, guys,

and I totally mean it.

No, she doesn't.

So, how many schools

do we have in common?

For next year?

- Yeah.

- Uh...

No, right now, dumbass.

Yeah, uh...

- Careful.

- I don't know, maybe five.

Out of...?

Uh, six or seven?

- Oh.

- Yeah.

Those are pretty

good odds, then, right,

that we'll all get

in the same school?

Ooh, well, Jonah will get in

wherever he wants,

but he'll go where we go.

Hmm.

Why?

Oh, oh!

I'll throw you

in the water!

Oh! Pfft!

Sorry.

Shh. It's okay.

- No. I'm not talking.

- Everything under control.

- We are fighting.

- I love you.

- We're fighting.

- Love you. Mean it.

- We're fighting.

- Love you. Mean it.

Ladies.

- I need a mike, too.

- Testing, one, two.

- Testing.

- I need a mike.

Are you trying

to miss them?

- Yes!

- Up, up!

- Nice!

- Yeah!

Let's see, Maur,

what the lovely Billie

has for us tonight.

Are you ready, Rhonda?

Are you ready?

Ladies and ladies...

That's me and you!

Get your sandwiches out

and your wafers

'cause we're ready to bid

on some sexy fellas.

First up, we have Johnny!

Whoo!

Whoo! Johnny!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! I do say.

Wearing the traditional

cowboy look

with a little bit of pizzazz.

Get on up there, monkey.

Maureen, I gotta tell ya,

I've never seen pants

so tight in my life.

Is that right?

That's fabulous.

That is about the best piece

of ass I have seen in years.

I would do him eight Sundays

in a row and a Sabbath.

Thank you.

Hey, sexy.

Whoo!

Can I just make

an addition right here?

Yes, absolutely.

Cry-Baby.

Cry...

A moment of silence for Depp.

Okay!

- Very nice.

- Nice.

Love him.

Next up, we have... Bernard.

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