Norman Lear: Just Another Version of You Page #7

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-No.

Oh, not at all.

I'm not opposed

to any American anywhere

speaking his mind

or her mind at any time.

-Does it bother you to be viewed

as you are by some

as the embodiment

of anti-moral,

anti-Christian America?

-Yeah, well,

of course it bothers me,

but it bothers me far more

when hundreds of thousands,

perhaps millions of Americans

are persuaded to vote

a certain way,

or it's suggested that if

they don't vote a certain way,

they are demonic, satanic.

They are in league

with the devil.

They are not one

of God's people.

Jerry Falwell sent out a mailing

in which he called me

"the number-one enemy

of the American family

in our generation."

That's a quote.

And I started to get

some death threats.

So it was serious stuff.

-George Orwell said

the most important thing

is to see what's obvious

and tell us about it.

And that's what Norman did.

He became the first

purely American response

to an un-American strain

of bigotry.

I cannot, you know...

I cannot overemphasize

what a patriot this man is.

-An original copy of

the Declaration of Independence

is making news --

sold at auction yesterday

for more than $8 million.

-Jesus, you don't have room

for this story.

I mean, there's no way.

-He didn't call me and ask me,

"What do you think, pal?"

He called me and said,

"Guess what!

I own the Declaration

of Independence!"

And I said, "Norman,

I thought we all do."

He said,

"I'm gonna make sure you do."

-He pulls out

this big glass thing,

and there's the Declaration

of Independence.

And you're like -- I can't

believe it was for sale somehow.

But he felt

he had such a responsibility

to make sure that kids saw it

and understood

from where they came

and what this meant and what

these people were fighting for.

[ Cheers and applause ]

-Go, U.S.A.!

-The Declaration of Independence

is right here in Utah

and will be available

for viewing throughout the games

thanks to Norman Lear.

-So, sweetheart,

how does it feel to be married

to a man 25 years older?

-It makes a difference now

more than it used to.

-Did you tell them

how the sex gets better

and better and better?

-Oh, especially the one

in the spring, right?

-[ Laughs ]

-I was doing my dissertation

on fundamentalism at the time,

and when I heard about

People for the American Way,

I was just very interested

in what he was doing

and what that was all about.

I was like, "Norman Lear.

I thought

he was short and bald."

You know, no, I didn't expect

him to be as tall as he was

and kind of as handsome

and charming.

But we went out for lunch,

and that's sort

of where it all happened.

It was very clear to me

that I wanted to have children,

and I said,

"When you marry a younger woman,

it sort of comes

with the territory.

So you have to decide."

-I remember sitting

at a caf with my father,

and my dad said,

"So, guess what.

We're pregnant.

And it's twins!"

And I almost fell into my soup.

- A buzzard took a monkey

for a ride in the air

The monkey thought that

everything was on the square

The buzzard tried to throw

the monkey off of his back

The monkey grabbed his neck

and said, "Now, listen, Jack"

Straighten up and fly right

Straighten up

and fly right

-Yes, I have my son!

-I see me in that camera.

- Cool down, Papa,

don't you blow your top

Ain't no use in diving

What's the use of jiving?

Straighten up and fly right

Cool down, Papa,

don't you blow your top

Fly right

-Good night, sweetheart.

[ Smooches, blows ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

-[ Breathes deeply ]

Um, okay.

I have this class at my school.

I remember this one girl saying,

"You know what?

My family is so weird.

My dad is 67."

And all I remember

myself saying is,

or thinking to myself is,

you know, "My dad's 80."

[ Laughter ]

My dad has been a senior citizen

ever since I was born.

[ Laughs ]

I knew my father

was older than most --

than all -- very early.

I liked it.

I feel like

it's kind of a cool thing

to have in your pocket.

He's the most important person

in my life, for sure.

-Oh, I don't do refolding.

I'm sorry.

-Completely...

[ Indistinct conversation ]

This next one's

gonna be completely...

-Here, guys.

Fold them.

[ Laughter ]

-Wait, wait, wait.

Which word had three syllables?

-"Even This,

I Get to Experience."

-Little word.

-Me.

-"Even this..."

-That's two syllables.

-"The man who" and "hat."

-It's a book.

-It's a book.

-Oh, yeah.

It's about...

-"The Man Who Mistook His Wife

for a Hat"

-Yeah.

[ Cheers and applause ]

-Wow, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

-Amazing.

-Whoo-hoo!

-That's a good --

That's a good name.

-My family is the greatest joy

in my life.

But I look back over the years,

and I think I realize

that each of us is responsible

for our own happiness.

And that's the great journey

in life --

learning that you have to find

the satisfaction yourself.

[ Sighs ]

It's hard to be a human being.

[ Chuckles ]

Remember, you heard it here.

It goes back, in my life,

to a grandfather.

If you got a minute, I'll tell

you about my grandfather.

My grandfather

loved this country,

stood holding my hand so tightly

it hurt on street corners

when a parade went by.

And I'd look up --

When the flag came by,

I'd look up at his face,

and a tear

would be coming down his cheek.

And he wrote Presidents.

He was an inveterate

letter writer to Presidents,

and every letter

started with "My dearest,

darling Mr. President."

My immigrant grandfather.

He was a man

who wrote the President

every single month of his life.

He used to write, "My dearest,

darling Mr. President,

don't you listen to them

when they say such and such."

And every letter started

"My dearest, darling

Mr. President."

[ Laughter ]

"Don't you listen to them

when they say such and such

and so-and-so."

And when he disagreed with them,

the letters

started the same way --

"My dearest, darling

Mr. President,

didn't I tell you last week..."

"I wrote you.

I said that you should..."

But he got answers.

Every once in a while,

I would run down

the three flights of steps,

York Street,

New Haven, Connecticut,

and there's

the little white envelope

that said White House.

[ Echoing ] White House.

He got letters

from the White House.

And my 9-, 10-year-old heart

would just...

[ Tapping chest ]

I couldn't get over it.

That wasn't true.

I made that up.

I had a great friend.

Arthur Marshall was his name.

And he had a grandfather

who wrote the President

"My dearest, darling

Mr. President."

I adored that,

and I guess out of some need,

I adopted it.

Or, more honestly said,

I stole it...

because I think now

I just needed

that father figure,

and if he didn't

exist in reality,

he certainly existed in my head.

I did what I had to do.

You know, I needed that --

to believe in that, and I did.

-Will you stifle?!

Yeah, you.

Gloria, you married the laziest

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