North Page #3

No, I... I mean...

Have you ever been

an easter bunny?

Easter bunny?

Careful, son.

Gabby's killed men

for less than that.

Sorry.

No harm done.

So, what you two cowpokes

got planned for tomorrow?

We'll wake up early and eat,

then dig for oil and eat,

then rope doggies

and bust broncs,

then maybe grab a bite to eat.

You like Tex-mex?

I'm a fan of any food that

straddles two borders.

That's my boy.

But what's the deal

with all this eating?

It's simple.

Remember I told you

everything I own's

the biggest and best?

You're already the best.

There's nothing left but

to make you the biggest.

And don't fret about not being

able to clean your plate.

Pretty soon that

stomach of yours

will stretch and stretch,

and your capacity for

food will grow and grow.

Excuse me. You say that

like that's a good thing

to have happen to your stomach.

It is.

Why?

Well, then you'll be like buck.

Who?

Our first son.

Biggest boy

this big state's ever seen.

He could eat more in one day

than anyone else

eats in a month.

That's why buck hated February.

Where is buck?

He died in a stampede.

Oh.

I'm so sorry.

It was a mighty big loss.

Now we'll show you how

much we're lookin' forward

to making you our new son.

Ready, pa?

Ready, ma.

We had a son

who was trampled

by a ton of longhorns

but you're here, cutes

to fill his boots

as flat as they may be

you'll yell yippee-ai-o

at the rodeo

till the day's done

then you'll make

a lot of pals

with buffalo gals

just leave some for me

we'll barbecue

steaks and stew

feed you pumpkin pie

till your can's bigger than

the big ol' Texas sky

yee-hah!

Yee-hah!

Yee-hah!

Yee-hah!

Whoo!

You'll grow tall

and play football

be famous

you'll grow more,

own a chain of stores

marry Betty Lou

oh, north

north

grow, north

'nother rib, son?

You o.K., cowboy?

Yeah.

Just thinking.

Texas nights are sure

good for thinking.

Yeah.

You doing any particular

type of thinking

or just wandering thinking?

I was thinking if I stay here,

I'll always be living in the

shadow of someone else.

What kind of life

would that be?

From what I hear about buck,

what kind of shadow

would that be?

Yeah, he was a big one.

Mighty hard being your own man

when they're always comparing

you to somebody else.

Yeah, right.

I mean, I left home

because I had parents who

didn't appreciate who I was.

Why would I want new parents

who'd only appreciate me

if I was someone else?

You might be

onto something there, son.

You know, down here in these

parts we got a saying...

sometimes when you're

panning for gold,

you got to try

more than one stream.

We really wish

you'd reconsider.

I'm sorry, but it wouldn't

be fair to any of us.

Thanks for

the opportunity, north.

Oh, sir?

Yes, north?

I think it's only right

I give you back the astros.

Well, thanks, son.

That's a class gesture.

Well...

Goodbye.

So long, pard.

We'll miss you.

Hold on there, son.

Just a little something

to remember your old

buddy Gabby by.

Hope it brings you good luck.

Thanks.

So north resumed his search,

and though he got

to the airport by noon,

out of respect

for ma and pa Tex,

in true cowboy tradition,

he chose to wait eight hours

to fly off into the sunset,

with no knowledge at all

of what was going on back home.

How much longer do we have to

put up with this indignity?

How much longer must we

tolerate these injustices?

The subservience?

It's humiliating, my friends.

It's demeaning.

Right on!

Now is the time to say no!

Now is the time to say,

"just because you were born

25 or 30 years before me

"doesn't make you smart.

"It doesn't make you right.

It just makes you old!"

"It just makes you

smell worse in the morning!"

Now is the time

to band together

and let our parents know

we're at the dawn

of a new era...

the era of our liberation!

An era made possible

by a kid who had the guts

to fight for the power

we now possess!

And now the man

whose brilliant legal mind

shone the light

on the pathway to freedom...

Mr. Arthur ulysses belt,

esquire!

Thank you!

I am but a humble servant,

standing at your ready,

to assist in this noble cause!

Viva El norte!

Viva El norte!

Viva El norte!

Viva El norte!

Viva El norte!

But like I said,

north didn't know

about any of this.

He was on his way to Hawaii

to meet what he hoped

would be his new parents.

Governor and Mrs. ho?

Aloha, north.

Welcome to our

island paradise, north.

Aloha.

We've got a big day

planned for you.

Waki-waki will take you

to the house to change.

Aloha.

Aloha?

I thought that meant hello.

In Hawaii, aloha means

hello and goodbye.

Doesn't that get confusing?

Only when you're

firing someone.

Oh, well, aloha.

Isn't he great?

You know, north,

if you settle here,

you'll be many years younger

because of the difference

in time zones.

You won't die as early

as you would

if you lived on the mainland.

That's a plus.

Another thing, north.

If you live in Hawaii,

it's much easier to get

into a good college.

How's that?

We have only 12 letters

in our alphabet.

Really?

That's right. Five vowels...

A-e-I-o-u.

Seven consonants.

H-k-l-m-n-p-w.

I didn't know that.

Well, sure.

Just think about it.

Waikiki, Honolulu...

Kaanapali, mauna lani.

That's very interesting,

but how does that

help me get into college?

Since we don't use the

letters b-c-d and "f",

you're pretty much guaranteed

to get straight as.

What do you think?

Well, I like what I see,

but I do have one question,

just for my own peace of mind.

What is it?

I hope I'm not

being insensitive,

but you wouldn't

have a dead kid

whose shoes

you want me to fill?

Dead kid?

North, Hawaii is

a lush and fertile land.

There's only one barren area

on all of our islands.

Unfortunately, it's Mrs. ho.

But if all goes right,

you will be our first child.

Wow!

What a great day.

You know,

this might really work out.

As far I'm concerned,

there's just a few

minor details to discuss.

You know, bedtime, sleepovers,

your views on snacks.

That sort of thing.

What are we standing here for?

Let's go inside and push

a few numbers around,

see what we come up with.

Ladies and gentlemen,

governor and Mrs. ho.

Heahea 'oe!

Komo mai e kai e ku aloha!

Ladies and gentlemen,

fellow 50th staters,

I am thrilled to announce

that we have reached

an agreement in principle

which allows me

to introduce to you today

a young man,

who in coming years

will be to Hawaii what

the peach is to Georgia,

the apple is to New York,

the wind is to Chicago!

Now, without further ado,

please give a big, warm

Hawaiian welcome

to our new pride and joy...

our son north!

What is that?

Son, that'll be

in every airport,

along every highway...

My crack?

My crack is going to be

shown in every airport?

What gives you the right to

show my crack on every highway?

The truth is, north,

I'm governor of a state

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