North Page #5

Well, goodbye, north.

Are you sure you have to go?

Don't worry about him, north.

He's had a great life.

He's happy to set sail

before he starts

embarrassing himself.

Take it from us, north.

When drool hardens, it's

not a pretty sight.

Let's go, pal.

This is no surprise.

Take a walk. Let's go. Move it.

Yeah, bye, bye.

Fine. Thank you.

Bye, dad!

Bye, dad!

Bye.

Listen, if there's

a change in policy

the next couple of weeks,

feel free to track me down.

What did he say?

What do you say

we grab a ride home?

Great idea!

North, don't worry

about grandpa.

He'll be o.K.

Yeah.

Can I ride on top?

Why, sure. It's the best view.

Landscape sure is

beautiful up here.

Hey...

It's you.

No, it's not.

Oh.

Smell that fresh air.

No smog up here.

How could they do that?

Not even my original parents

would send my grandpa

away like that.

Hey, son!

How's the view up there?

Great!

Thanks.

"Son."

I don't want

to overstep my bounds,

but unless I'm mistaken,

you're that fella north.

Unless I'm further mistaken,

you have a deadline

of labor day...

a week from tomorrow...

to choose new parents.

You still haven't found

what you're looking for.

How could labor day

be next week?

I just got here.

You walked from home

to the ice floes?

It's a seven-week walk,

even with the wind

at your back.

No wonder we stopped

for lunch 49 times.

That six months of daylight

thing throws everybody off.

I only showered 12 times

during the seventies.

Oh, man, I'll never

find new parents.

You can always go back to

your original parents.

Oh, yeah!

That's just what I want to do...

go back to the people

who haven't even

tried to contact me.

Take me to the airport.

I've got lots to do

and not much time.

You got it. Yah!

So a now-desperate north,

with time running out,

raced towards

an uncertain future.

Understandably, he was upset

that his parents hadn't

called in two months,

but his parents hadn't

done much of anything

in two months.

As curator of

the Smithsonian institution,

it is my distinct honor

to unveil the newest addition

to our illustrious

hall of achievement.

At 78 consecutive days

and counting,

the longest simultaneous coma

in medical history,

ladies and gentlemen,

north's folks.

I'll now take questions.

Yes!

How can you equate

a medical oddity

with man's landing on the moon?

With all due respect

to the achievements

of the Apollo 11 crew,

the sociological impact

of what these folks did

dwarfs those

of Mr. Armstrong et Al.

All they did was faint.

And in so doing,

shifted the familial

balance of power

throughout the world.

"Throughout the world"?

This is even bigger

than we thought.

It's bigger than you thought.

That's why you're

only going to be president.

...Child's continuing process

to improve status...

I just thought of something.

What if they wake up

in the next eight days,

begging north to come back?

What if north

goes back to his folks?

Arthur, don't you know that

that's an impossibility,

that I would use all my power

to prevent a thing

like that from happening?

Oh.

What do you say

we grab some Chinese?

Maybe the msg

will calm you down.

Despite north's growing concern

about his approaching deadline,

he took solace in the fact

the lord needed

only six days to create

the entire universe.

A kid of his caliber,

given an extra two days,

should be able to find

two measly parents.

Greetings...

North.

I'm thy new father,

and this good woman,

who art my wife,

art thy new mother.

And these art thy new brothers,

who art named Ezekiel.

And these art thy new brothers,

who art named art.

Hey, hey, this looks great.

I've always dreamt of a life

without the ever-present

nuisance of electricity.

Just let me grab

something from the plane.

I seem to have

left my butter churn

in the overhead compartment.

Floor it!

While it wasn't like north

to make snap judgments,

there were only

seven days left.

He had a world of potential

parents to evaluate.

Long live the north dynasty!

Give him the emperor cut.

Honey!

Honey face!

You seem like very nice folks,

but to be totally honest

with you,

if I lived here,

I'm not sure I'd get

much homework done.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Quiet, Harry! Quiet!

I think he's trying

to tell us something.

Wack wack wack-ado

Oh, my!

With three days to go

before his 12 noon

labor day deadline,

north, the little

world traveler,

arrived in New York today

to interview his final

set of parents...

ward and Donna Nelson,

who, along with their

two children, bud and Laura,

live in the quaint

upstate town of bedford.

When contacted earlier

at his office,

ward, the local pediatrician,

who, we understand,

still makes house calls,

said, "my family and I

would like nothing better

"than to see north's

long journey

"finally be rewarded with

a warm and loving home,

and we hope we can

provide it for him."

Thanks.

Hi, north!

Ward, bud, Laura, he's here!

He's here!

Hi, north!

Hi!

Hello.

Welcome to our home, son.

Tired, hungry?

I'm going to bake you

some chocolate chip cookies.

Do you like Nintendo?

Today at mount rushmore,

thousands of angry parents

gathered

to voice opposition to the bill

that lowers voting age to 7.

According to Arthur belt,

the rising politician

who drafted the bill...

Wait. They were

talking about me.

Soon you'll be hearing

your name so much,

even you'll be sick of it.

I highly doubt it.

Talk to me.

Boss, it's Al

with the sleeping dogs.

Yeah, what about them?

Looks like they counted

their last sheep.

So it does.

How long will it take

to get operation xerox

into place?

Less than a minute, boss.

Go to it, and, Al?

Yeah, boss?

Don't be surprised

if there's extra zeros

in your next paycheck.

Thanks, boss. I appreciate it.

And, Al?

Yeah, boss?

Don't be surprised

if there isn't.

I understand.

Good morning.

Where are we?

Oh! Where's our son?

Ooh! Can we see our son?

Absolutely. Just follow me.

We got a limo waiting outside

with coffee and hot Danish.

Oh, that sounds good.

I seem to have worked up

an appetite. Honey?

I could eat.

Right this way.

Hike!

O.K., Laura,

sack the quarterback!

Here we go. Hey!

Touchdown!

You faked me

right out of my socks!

Come and get it!

It's great

having you here, north.

I've always wanted

a brother to throw to.

Now I have two brothers

to look out for me.

I know we're all excited

to have north in our family,

but he hasn't decided to stay.

You got to stay!

We really want you.

Help yourself,

everybody. Dig in.

Mom, can we go

to the carnival tomorrow?

I don't see why not.

Ward?

Sounds good to me.

North...

We miss you so much.

Please forgive us.

We made so many mistakes.

We should've

appreciated you more.

If only you could give us

just one more chance.

We love you, son.

We love you very much.

Cut!

Very nice.

Very, very nice.

Touching, moving,

and yet, not over the top.

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