Not Cool Page #9

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on the present,

We kind of lose it forever.

And the present

is where things happen.

Sometimes it's difficult.

Sometimes it's glorious.

But it's always

the place to be,

Because life happens

in the present,

One second to the next.

And if you're living

with one foot in the past,

Well, you're missing

a f***ing foot.

892 train to Chicago,

now boarding.

Don't spit, god.

Sometimes it needs

some lubrication.

No, it does not.

Natural lubrication

Is one of the best types

of lubrication,

Especially when you're

eating f***ing p*ssy.

God!

All right, cut.

That's some good-Ass sh*t.

Oh, my god, yeah, thank you.

Your mama teach you

how to make these brownies?

No, I...

Oh, your daddy taught you

how to make them brownies?

Go make them brownies.

Get the pot, girl.

You want some?

- No, no.

- I think I'm high.

I don't think it happens

that quickly.

Oh.

Hey, Kathleen.

I'm gonna come

on those tits

Wamp-wamp-wamp, dubstep remix.

Ch-Ch-Ch come

B-Zzz, dup-dup-dup, sperm

And that's the last time

I'll ever have sex

with an amputee again.

That's the last time I'll ever

have sex with a veteran again.

And that is the last time

I'll ever have sex

with a special Ed teacher.

Cut.

Sometimes I masturbate

with a blender.

Raper uses the same password

for all his secure files.

It's "titty f***" with

three exclamation points.

"C*nt bunny"

with a smiley face.

"Ariana Grande's

tight little ass 420."

"Teeny ass 99."

"Titty boner"

with a smiley face.

"P*ssy popper 88."

"Dripping wet clit 99."

"Anus party 85."

"The clits go marching

one by one."

"Clit massacre 89."

Okay, wait.

Three more!

"Titty titty bungalow 420."

"P*ssy wagon p*ssy wagon

make me a cake."

Try something with "a**hole"!

Okay.

Your tits are so f***ing nice.

Oh, my god, you're so sweet.

You want to suck my nipple?

Okay.

Cut.

It's done.

Hey, oh love,

when you fall asleep

There's a piece of you

in every song I sing

Where your childhood

runs wild and free

Without me

Held your love

in a silver spoon

Walked outside

just to kiss the moon

Looking back,

I wish I kissed you

Kissed you

To keep the light on,

honey

Is the least

that I can do

If I keep running

back to you

Your heart

is a slow train coming

I'm afraid to make my move

If I keep running

back to you

Hey, old lover,

it's a lonely day

There's a record on

And the song remains

If we dance real slow

Until the music fades

Will we do the same

Held your heart

till the bitter end

You held my hand

like I was your best friend

In another life

we will meet again

Again

To keep the light on,

honey

Is the least

that I can do

If I keep running

back to you

Your heart

is a slow train coming

I'm afraid to make my move

If I keep running

back to you

If I keep running

back to you

You

You

You

If I keep running

back to you

If I keep running

back to you

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