Not for Human Consumption Page #4

behind you. Excuse me.

Thank you.

RAYMOND:

Where the f*** is Jay?

SERVER:

He's in the back.

RAYMOND:

The place is a madhouse. We've

almost sold out

on the incense already.

We're gonna

have to place another order.

What are you doing in here?

JAY:

Trying to figure why I

shouldn't walk out the door.

RAYMOND:

What?

JAY:

I think I just quit.

RAYMOND:

Dude, are you smoking

this fake sh*t?

We've made more tonight than

we made the last two weeks.

You want to quit?

We're finally making

a decent profit.

JAY:

Not for long.

RAYMOND:

Why? What do you mean?

JAY:

I mean think about it,

listen. We're already

catching people smoking the

stuff outta the hookahs.

It's not meant to be consumed.

Besides, we're hurting ourselves

by just selling it here.

RAYMOND:

Well what do you suggest,

a second hookah bar?

We could use that cigarette

girl idea I had - using the

girls from Hooters.

JAY:

Ha! No. But I always

liked that idea.

We make the

incense ourselves.

I've done the research.

We can order the

chemical compound from China.

You order the herbs - that

can be anything - there's a

number of different

blends we can use.

We mix it together,

we send it to a lab.

We make sure the compound levels

are right -

RAYMOND:

You lost me. What are you

talking about?

JAY:

We make it. We sell it.

We profit. Wholesale.

RAYMOND:

I mean, Sounds like

a lot of work.

JAY:

What's wrong with a lot of

work if it pays off?

RAYMOND:

Where are we gonna make it?

RAYMOND:

Excellent lasagna, Mrs. Trotta.

Mmm, so good!

JAY'S MOTHER:

Explain it to me again.

JAY:

Incense. We're making incense.

We import the incense.

We mix it up so it smells really

nice.

Then we package it

and we distribute it.

JAY'S MOTHER:

Why do you like incense

all of a sudden?

JAY:

Who doesn't like incense?

It smells nice.

JAY'S MOTHER:

Mm hmm... just seems peculiar

that all of a sudden

you like incense.

RAYMOND:

Well, here's what happened

was we were working at the bar

and this British dude brought

his own incense from Europe.

And he lit it, at the bar,

and he then smoked it.

JAY:

Smoked it to get it lit. You

know So that it would burn

and release it's nice aroma.

RAYMOND:

It's all about the nice aroma.

JAY'S MOTHER:

And you need my

garage to make it?

JAY:

Just temporarily. Until we can

get ourselves a warehouse.

JAY'S MOTHER:

I don't know. Who's sending

you that stuff from China?

JAY:

Only difference is

that the JWH comes in

concentrations up to ten times

the strength of regular weed.

RAYMOND:

Okay. Now what?

JAY:

I got a recipe off YouTube.

RAYMOND:

I'm sorry. What? That's your big

plan, a recipe off the internet?

Jay, what are you talking about?

We've already sunk $5K

into this thing dude!

JAY:

Raymond, calm down unless you

want to book a flight to Europe

and see how they make it over

there, we are gonna have to

experiment a little bit on our

own.

We make the mix, we send

it to a lab where they can

test the potency.

RAYMOND:

And how much

is that gonna run us?

JAY:

If you wanna get

out, the time is now.

The door's right there, pal.

Laughter.

RAYMOND:

I can't believe

we're doing this.

Alright...

JAY Voice Over:

You start with your vegetation,

your herb. We're using

Damiana and mullen, a yellow

flowered Mediterranean

shrub you can get shipped from

Cali. You weigh out a 1,000

grams

grams. That's one kilo. Then you

mix in your additive.

To dissolve the additive we're

using acetone. It acts as a

solvent. You wanna mix it until

it looks clumpy like a vanilla

milkshake. You spray it, set it

out to dry on a tray. It's got

to dry evenly.

JAY:

So what do we

got, Mr. Science?

DARYL:

Your ratio of cannibinoid to

vegetation needs to

be constant.

The more important number

is the concentration levels.

4.0-14.0 nM.

That's a low number.

JAY:

Low is good? Bad?

RAYMOND:

How does he know

what's good or bad?

DARYL:

Perhaps the only

positive thing about hanging

in a meth lab, you learn

a little about chemistry.

Low means strong. A big Kick.

JAY:

Talk to us like were a

couple of seven year olds.

RAYMOND:

Better make it six.

DARYL:

Okay, The chemicals act

on various parts of your brain

called receptor sites.

Synthetic cannibanoids target

the CB1 and CB2 receptors,

which either cause

hallucinations in the first

instance- or can alleviate

nausea and instill calm in

the second.

JAY:

Raymond's lost.

RAYMOND:

I'm not a

science guy all right.

I'm a money guy.

DARYL:

Think of it as a

lock-and-key system, Okay?.

The receptor site is the

lock and the drug is the key.

And when the key goes

into the lock,

it opens up the psychoactive

properties of the receptor

site.

JAY:

So, what your saying is

that we have the potential to

make a powerful drug that

can blow people's minds.

Real pot has a concentration

level of 39.0 42.4 nM- that

is the concentration

needed to activate the main

cannibanoid

receptors in nanomolars.

JAY:

Raymond's lost again.

DARYL:

Your concentration is 4.0-14.0

That's really low. That's 10

times lower.

JAY:

Meaning...what we have is

nearly ten times stronger than

regular pot.

DARYL:

Yes. The question is -

how strong is too strong?

JAY:

There's only

one way to find out.

RAYMOND:

Come on dude.

JAY:

Raymond, you're a

chronic dope smoker.

Your tolerance is

through the roof.

If it kicks your ass,

we'll need to pull back.

RAYMOND:

Did you ever think

maybe I don't want to get

my ass kicked?

JAY:
All the great products

went through a tester.

It's an important job.

You're our tester.

If I wasn't sober, I'd

take the job myself.

RAYMOND:

Okay, Time to

get high again.

synth music plays over montage

JAY:

You cool buddy?

How you doing there champ?

RAYMOND:

AAAAghhhhhh

JAY:

You can move right, Raymond?

Can you move your fingers? Move

your fingers.

Raymond, move your fingers.

RAYMOND:

Oh my god...dude.

JAY:

It's good stuff?

RAYMOND:

Oh jello legs... jello legs.

Oh this sh*t is so nuts.

OH my god...

JAY:

I guess this is the

potency we want.

RAYMOND:

God Damn. Looks f***ing

great dude.

JAY:

"Magic Flame."

Sounds good, right?

RAYMOND:

I'm impressed. I am impressed.

JAY:

While you're packaging, I'm

gonna be selling.

JAY:

We're selling a hundred,

hundred and fifty units a day

out of my small hookah

bar, at thirty bucks a pop,

just imagine what this

place could do.

RAJ:

Sell 'em as what?

JAY:

Sell 'em as herbal incense.

RAJ:

Incense? I got incense.

JAY:

Not that kind of incense Raj.

RAJ:

Do you smoke it?

JAY:

No, well yes...

RAJ:

C'mon madar chode, I

can't sell drugs here you

know that.

JAY:

No, you can't, but

you can sell incense.

There is nothing in this product

that is illegal

you just can't

sell it to be smoked.

RAJ:

A-a-a-aaall right.

I'll try a couple.

JAY:

Okay, okay. That's what

I'm talking about!

Ya see what I'm saying? I'm

trying to make you some money

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes