Not the Three Stooges XXX Page #4

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Let it go. Let it go.

Try to live in the now.

Get off me!

Too soon?

Hey, you smell garbage burning?

Ah! Ah! Ah!

What are you doing here?

We want the do-re-mi you owe us, lady.

Yeah, 830,000 bucks.

Plus meals.

May I have a moment, ma'am?

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Mind your P's and Q's.

- Don't forget to dot the I's.

- Certainly.

I'm afraid I have unfortunate news.

I've just received word

that Mr. Miosky was struck by a bus.

Oh, no! So Mac is dead?

No.

No? Are you sure?

Oh, yes.

He's still alive, but he's in bad shape.

Your husband is

in contact with the hospital.

He said he'd call with any news.

Thank you, Carbunkle.

Oh, my God.

Come on, blondie, pay up. A deal's a deal.

Our deal was that you would get paid

when my husband died.

And on that count

you have failed miserably.

You mean he's still kicking?

That's right, you idiots!

You have ruined my life,

now get out of here.

- Boy, what a hothead.

- Women!

Wait a second,

with her hubby laid out in the hospital

nursing them tire tracks,

it'll be easy pickings to slide a pillow

over the poor schlump's face

and give him the surprise send-off

he wanted.

Good thinking!

We'll be doing the guy a favor

and making enough money

to save the orphanage.

It's like killing two birds with one pillow.

- It's colossal.

- It's stupendous.

It's even mediocre.

Ow!

- Say, "Ah. "

- Ah...

Come on!

Okay, you lumps.

Just keep your lips zippered.

I'll sweet-talk our way in.

Hey, bulldog, how's about being a sport...

...and letting us visit an old pal?

What do you say?

Can't you read? Visiting hours are over.

- Even for family?

- Are you family?

- Certainly.

- Oh, yeah? What's your relation?

His mother and my mother

were both mothers.

You heard me, no more visitors.

Come on.

Follow me. I got an idea.

That the best you can do?

You're scaring the customers.

I'm sorry, I didn't bring

my false eyelashes.

Hey! What's the big idea?

- Mind your business.

- Ah!

No, Moe, what are you... Ooh! Ooh!

Hold still. There you go. There.

Oh!

Now go on over to that information desk

and find out where the hubby's room is.

Hurry.

Let me see that.

Ow!

Excuse me, dreamsicle,

that patient who got hit with a bus,

what room is he in?

That would be 386.

Okay, thank you.

Say! I haven't noticed

you around here before.

I like curvy woman.

Oh!

I bet you say that to all the gals.

What do you say,

me and you go out Saturday night,

grab some falafel and couple of pops? Huh?

Why wait,

when you can have a pop right now?

- How'd you make out?

- Mmm...

I don't know,

I guess we'll find out Saturday night.

- No, I mean with the...

- Look!

Hey! Stop them!

In here.

Doctor?

Excuse me,

may I have a word with these ladies?

Doctor?

Oh!

- Yes, proceed.

- Thank you.

Come on, girls,

let's get these diapers changed A-S-A-P.

The bulldog's still out there.

Well, come on.

Let's blend in till the smoke clears.

But we don't know anything about babies.

What's there to know?

You check under the hood

and if there's a leak,

you change the filter. Come on, get busy.

Ah! Triplicates!

Coochie coochie coo! Coochie coochie coo!

Ugh!

You must be French,

that's a lot of wee-wee.

All right, raise your hand,

who wants to go first?

Fine. You bat lead-off.

Here you go. You like that?

We'll fix you up.

Double-crossers, eh?

Oh!

Hiya, boys. Yeah. Now who do we got?

No, Moe! Take it easy!

Let's talk this out. Come on!

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, a pea-shooter, eh?

- Yeah, I'll fix you.

- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Hey! Where's your hypocritical oath?

Here it is.

That's it. It's on!

Freeze.

Put him down now. Real slow.

Don't do anything stupid.

This one's got a hair-trigger.

Now slide him over.

Any last words?

What is going on...

"386." Come on, this is it.

There he is.

Mongoose, turn on the tube

so nobody hears us.

Chowder-head, start smothering him

while I wedge that door shut.

All right, bed-sores, nap's over.

Time to get you some exercise.

Here we go. There we are.

All right. There we go. Yeah.

Okay.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

There. Don't go nowhere.

I thought I told you to smother him.

I am, I'm smothering him in onions.

Good thinking, Emeril.

Yeah, let me see that.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Look a kitty cat.

Well, it's been a bad week

for Lenny the Lion.

His nasty disposition

has prompted local zoo officials

to put the proud cat

on a short leash inside his pen.

Zoo employees were refusing

to clean the ornery beast's cage

after several recent close calls.

Uh-oh! He's gone!

No, he ain't. He's turtling.

We're going to need to blast.

Mutton-head, you got any dynamite?

There we go.

Fire in the neck hole. Take cover.

Nurse! Nurse!

Nurse, help!

Hey, hey, just relax, pal,

we'll have a toe tag on you in no time.

No, no, no! Wait! Wait! Wait!

Now what?

You don't need to kill me anymore.

I'm cured.

Cured? What are you babbling about,

plaster-boy?

The bus. They say

it knocked the disease right out of me.

The doctors couldn't believe it.

They say it's a miracle.

A miracle! Just our luck.

Quick, hide.

I'm telling you those bums are in here.

This is the room they were looking for.

Psst!

Get them!

Break time, ladies.

Couldn't have come fast enough.

Huddle. Boxcar 45 on three.

Break. One, two, three.

He don't look so good.

Check his pulse.

Nothing.

You mean, he's...

Not on my watch.

Quick, get me the paddles.

Clear!

It's a zombie! Run for your life!

There they are!

Uh...

Fellas, it's too high...

Why, you lame brains!

Hey, look! A fire hose.

We can lower ourselves

down to the ground.

The kid's right. It's foolproof. Come on.

Why don't you

watch where you're going, bud?

I'm sorry. 100% my fault.

Sometimes I just

get lost in my own head and...

Moe? Larry! Curly!

- Is that you?

- Depends who's asking.

It's me, Teddo J. Harter.

- Who?

- Teddy, from the orphanage, Teddy.

You remember, Moe,

I went home with your parents.

What're you trying to pull?

The Teddy we knew was this tall

- and only had one shoe.

- Yeah, and he didn't sound like you.

Here, look.

I've got a snapshot of me and the 'rents

leaving the orphanage.

Hey, it is you!

I was wondering,

how are Moe's folks doing?

They seemed like good eggs.

Dad's doing great.

I work with him at the law firm downtown.

But Mother,

she passed on several years ago.

Hunting accident.

- Oh, sure.

- Oh, yeah.

So, you boys on Facebook? I'll poke you.

- Better yet, I'll tweet you.

- Ah!

Tweet us to dinner? Certainly.

Hey, wait a minute,

where are you guys living?

- You know the Ritz-Carlton on Oak Street?

- Oh, sure.

Yeah, we're camped out

in the dumpster out back.

But not the dirty, beat-up green one,

it's the shiny blue one right next to it.

Oh!

You know, I've got an idea.

Why don't you guys

come crash at my place?

Just until

you get your feet back on the ground.

- Oh, boy! That sounds terrific.

- We're not going anywhere.

What are you talking about, Moe?

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