Not the Three Stooges XXX Page #5

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Thanks, Teddy bear,

but we're going to stay put.

We got too many irons in the fire right now.

Of course you do.

Hey, look, I got to get going,

I'm supposed to be visiting a friend.

Wait. Let's get a quick pic first.

- What is that gadget?

- This is an iPhone.

Eye-phone?

Hello? Hello? There's nobody there.

It works better on your ear.

Here, come on everybody.

- Where do you think you're going?

- Here, let me get...

Smile.

That's great.

It's so good to see you guys, really.

You haven't changed a bit.

You got rocks in your head?

Teddy was trying to help us out

and you blew him off. What gives?

We'll help ourselves out.

Well, what about the orphanage?

Teddy's dad has dough.

Maybe he would've given us

the 800,000 bucks.

We don't need handouts from that chump.

We told those kids

we'd come up with the cash

and that's just what we're going to do.

Yeah, how?

Well, we still got that seed money,

don't we?

- Seed money?

- The cash Mother Superior gave us.

This 72 bucks is our ticket to riches.

Riches! How do you figure?

Well, it's seed money, right?

What do you do with seeds?

Spit them out.

You plant them. We'll become farmers.

Farmers? I always wanted to be a farmer.

- To the farm.

- To the farm.

To the farm.

A farming we will go

A farming we will go

A farming we will go

A farming we will go

Lydia, you won't believe who I saw today.

Huh?

I said,

you won't believe who I ran into today.

I can't hear you, honey,

what are you saying?

When I visited Mac at the hospital today,

I wasn't paying attention and I literally

ran into these three guys

I haven't seen since I was a kid.

Yeah, that's nice.

Are you okay, pudding?

I'm fine.

Anyway, I'm thinking of inviting them

to our anniversary party.

Yeah,

they look like they're a lot of fun.

Here's a little drink for you, Elsie.

Jonesie, you have to hold still

in order to get a drink.

Hello, Maritza,

you're getting your color back.

Ralphie don't look so good.

Poor guy's drying out.

Oh! Good for you, Ralphie, realizing

there's a problem is half the battle.

Hey, look, our first customer.

What are you doing?

Only selling the finest farm-raised salmon

in the county, that's all.

Yeah, they're all free-range.

No nets, no cages.

They can go wherever they want.

Plus we have smoked salmon.

But this is a golf course.

So what? We let them play through.

- What's your beef?

- Yeah, we're trying to save an orphanage.

Look, are you here to buy fish

or are you just kicking the tires?

Hey! Do your job. Cart path only.

I'll cart path you, you little...

It's the 5-0! Scram!

You again!

Oh, my back!

Stop right there.

Got you!

Hold still.

What's a matter with you? Come on, you.

Yah! Yah, mule! Yah!

Whoa! Easy, Seabiscuit, easy.

We're trapped like rats.

Speak for yourself, rodent.

We're going to need a battering ram.

- You go that way. I'll go this way.

- Okay.

Heave-Ho!

Heave-ho!

Oh! Fellas, ease up,

you're squeezing my ankles too tight.

Quit your whining.

Ho!

That was a close one.

What is that? What's with the light?

I got a better question,

why didn't we go live with Teddy

when we had the chance?

Now we got no Teddy,

no seed money, no nothing.

Yeah, shame on you, Moe.

You put your pride ahead of them kids.

How dare you accuse me of having pride!

Back off.

I won't.

Okay, kid, you got me.

You know, I'm proud of you

for finally standing up for yourself.

Let's shake on it. There you go.

Get out of here.

- This is all your fault.

- Me?

Sneaking up on me, eh? And you.

Get over here.

What's a matter with you?

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Why you...

Moe, not that! Anything but that!

Why you! There you go!

There you go.

Get up there!

All right.

Why you!

Stop it! Stop it, Moe! I've had it with you.

You are the cause of all of our problems

since day one.

How do you figure?

You should have gone and lived

with Teddy's folks

back when they wanted to adopt you.

That way you could have come back

and helped us all out.

But no! The great and powerful Moe

is too lazy to squeegee the pool.

You don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, no?

Why do you think

we never got another shot

at getting adopted again?

It's because

when you messed it up that day,

you messed it up for all of us.

If you two got ants in your pants,

then why don't you just leave?

I'm getting sick and tired

of looking at your monkey-faces anyhow.

Being with you two is like dragging around

a couple of boat anchors.

Well, fine.

Then...

Goodbye, Moe.

Yeah. Goodbye.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Go on, scram!

I bet you two earthworms

won't last a day without me.

Hmph!

Bravo. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

What an original way to showcase

your personality. By putting on a skit.

- Very smart.

- Huh?

That is exactly what we're looking for.

Someone who's not afraid of confrontation.

Who's passionate about his opinions,

right or wrong.

That's what America craves.

What are you flapping about?

Oh! He's beautiful.

Congratulations, sir,

you are the newest cast member

of the world's number-one-rated

reality show.

We got chocolate, vanilla, strawberry.

No reasonable offer will be refused.

It's remarkable, it's refreshing.

It's repulsive.

What was that for?

I told you we'd need more ice.

Hey, look, a zoo. What do you say

we go in and chisel a lunch?

All right.

What are you waiting for?

Just go in there and do it.

What are you crazy, el pollo loco,

in the head?

I can't just walk in the main gates

and shoot them.

There's people in there. There's protesters.

There's cameras everywhere.

Okay, just give me the gun

and I'll do it myself.

Why do you gotta do that, huh?

Why do you gotta turn everything

into me being a weakling?

I'm not being weak.

I'm being smart.

Oh, yeah.

The polar bear is found

mainly in the Arctic Circle

and the adjacent land masses

as far south as Newfoundland island.

The male bear you're looking at

weighs over 1,000 pounds

and can become quite aggressive.

When hungry, these bears devour

large amounts of food rapidly.

Despite its fluffy fur and teddy-bear look

the polar bear is actually

one of the most ruthless,

predatory carnivores on the planet.

I'm worried about Moe.

You and me, we're survivors,

but Moe, I ain't sure

he's got the right social skills.

Yeah, I'm worried, too.

I don't know

how he's going to fit in out there.

Just look at his haircut.

People must think he's insane.

Yeah.

Wait, wait.

Give me a boost.

No!

Hold on, don't push!

And hurry up!

Penguins?

No?

Good kitty.

I have a gun.

Don't make me use it.

Hey, little fella, you want a peanut?

Dolphins love peanuts, you know.

Here you go. Catch.

Oh, my God! I think he's snufficating.

Don't worry, pal,

I know the Heineken maneuver.

Yeah.

It ain't working.

I'm coming.

You're doing it wrong. Get out of the way.

I thought I saw a p*ssy cat.

I did. I did.

Come on. Come on. Come on, boy.

Who's king of the forest now?

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