Not the Three Stooges XXX Page #6

X
Year:
2012
535 Views


The five times...

You paid...

Get crazy, get wild

Let's party, get loud

If you wanna have fun...

Have you ever seen this show?

Hmm?

No.

It's a hoot.

Let's party get loud

If you wanna have fun and do something

If you wanna have fun and do something

Get crazy get wild

What the...

That's him.

That's who, dear?

That's Moe! He's on TV!

- How's that Whynatte?

- That is my fourth or fifth.

- What kind of flavor?

- I like coffee, too.

Hey, I'm heading out to 7-Eleven,

anyone up for some gummy worms?

Yeah, maybe if they were soaked in vodka.

By the way, why are you even on our show?

You look like a stretched-out meatball.

Did not Moe tell you

that he's using our little program

as a launching pad to make a lot of paper

to save homeless orphan babies?

Good luck. This guy can't even

buy the right kind of grated cheese.

I asked for Romano, not Parmesan,

you mook.

- Oh! You don't like that cheese.

- No.

Let's see what we can do about that.

Oh, boy. Here we go.

How about some aged cheddar,

tough guy. Come on.

What are you, crazy? That's assault.

Here's your pepper. Shut up.

- My man!

Who asked you, muscle-head?

Moe! You can't just

go around hitting people!

- No, well, can I do this?

- Ow!

Hmm... Rare bouquet.

Are you kidding me? Who does this?

Need some help, folks,

looking for our missing friend.

$3.50 reward. Dead or alive.

Here you are, pal, we're missing our pal.

Hey, get over there and staple up

the rest of these flyers on the pronto.

Aah! Thanks a lot, buddy,

now I got a hole in my head.

Quit screwing with the public.

Cut it out!

Who do you think you are, huh?

Oh, I see.

When Moe slugs you, it's okay,

but when Larry does it,

it's not good enough.

No, no, no, Larry, it's good enough,

it's just that...

You're not doing it right.

When Moe hits me,

it's just better, you know?

You got rocks in your head.

I'm hitting you just the same.

No, you're not. You do this.

And Moe does this.

And Moe doesn't do this.

He does this.

You see?

Ah, you're right.

Come on, think.

Where would we go if we was Moe?

Home.

Home.

Yeah.

Lord, I feel like going home

Where is everybody?

I've tried and I failed and

I'm tired and weary

Hello?

Anybody home?

Hi, I'm Al Cerrone,

four-wheel drive SUVs just like this,

with a gas-saving, six-cylinder engine,

only $19,995.

And pick-ups, automatic and air,

only $16,000.

Sister Ricarda.

Boys, what are you doing here?

We've been looking everywhere for Moe.

Have you seen him?

Yeah. I see him almost every night on TV.

He's on that Jersey beach-people show.

You didn't know?

Moe's a big celebrity now.

Oh!

Good for him.

Yeah.

Looks like he didn't need us after all.

So what happened here?

Where are all the kids?

They're closing us down on Monday,

so we had to start moving everyone out.

But we told you to wait.

We were going to get the money.

You got the money?

We got the money?

Well, no,

but we're working on it.

- Oh!

- Oh!

At least you tried.

- Peez!

- Peez!

Thank God you're still here.

They tried to shoo me out,

but I told them

I wasn't leaving without her.

Without who?

Murph?

I'm sorry, boys, Murph is very ill.

Why isn't she in a hospital?

Well...

I'll tell you why.

Because we don't have

any medical insurance.

You should get some.

Just call that little green alligator guy.

Okay, that's it. I've had it with you.

Do you want to know why

we have no medical insurance?

It's because you wombats have caused

so many accidents over the years,

there's not a company on this earth

that will cover us

until we pay the $830,000

we owe for previous claims.

And that's why we're being closed down.

That's enough, Sister.

Wait. You mean the orphanage is closing

because of us?

Check it out, Larry, Curly,

you're responsible for that.

You are and that other moron.

Oh!

Sorry, excuse me.

Yes?

No, no, I want it with custard

not whipped cream.

I ordered an clair not a Twinkie.

You know it's funny how freedom

can make us feel contained

Is that what you think? Shut up.

- Hey, Moe!

- You, too. Here's another one.

Hiya, Snook, I got you a present.

Really? For me?

- Yeah, go on, open it.

- Okay.

Ow!

I'll just wait here

and listen to you when you speak

Or scream

And every day that you want to waste

That you want to waste, you can

And every day that you want to wake up...

Why you...

Now, there you go.

And every day that you want to waste...

Why you...

You see that?

You see that?

Business!

Why you...

Why you...

And every day that you want to waste...

Kickham, Harter and Indagroyne,

may I help you?

Yes, I'll connect you now.

Oh! I'm sorry, sir,

but the clown college is on the ninth floor.

Oh, no, I'm here to see Teddy Harter.

Tell him it's his old pal, Larry,

from the orphanage.

Oh, Teddo's not here.

He's out making arrangements

for his anniversary party.

All right, then can I speak to his old man?

Mr. Harter is at lunch,

but he should be back soon.

- Nice glasses.

- Thank you.

You got a little spot there.

Let me help you out.

Here you are. Good as new.

By the way, do not lick those.

I am just getting over pink eye.

Mr. Harter.

Just the guy I wanted to see.

I'll take the case. Please tell me

it was Supercuts who did this to you.

No, it's me, Larry.

Moe, Larry, Curly, remember?

From the orphanage.

Oh, my goodness.

Congratulations, you're still in remission.

So, what brings you here?

Look, I'll cut to the chase, moneybags.

We're in a jam.

The orphanage needs $830,000,

or it's going belly up.

Plus, we got a sick kid

getting fitted for angel wings.

Terrific, so who do we sue?

Oh, no, there's no one to sue.

- We need you to give us the money.

- Yeah.

But we're not looking

for a handout, mind you.

We'll work off every last penny

right here in these halls.

Yeah. Look, I'm sorry, but I'm committed

to several other charities,

and besides, I don't have

that kind of money just laying around,

but if you decide to sue the orphanage,

I'm in.

Mr. H, please...

I know what you're thinking,

that we're both lazy bums like Moe,

but we're not.

Some of us aren't afraid

to get our hands dirty.

What? No. I never thought of Moe as lazy.

It's all right.

That slug told us the whole story

about why you dropped him back off.

Well, I can assure you it had

nothing to do with his work ethic.

He was 10.

No, what happened was, he wanted us

to go back for you two,

and frankly it was just too much for us.

Wait. You mean

he wouldn't go without us?

No, he wouldn't.

He was very adamant about wanting us

to adopt all three of you

and it was just out of the question,

you understand.

Anywho, gotta skedaddle.

Late for a meeting.

But if you ever do want to sue anyone

for anything,

a slip in the tub, a bone in the fish,

I'm your guy.

Hey.

Who's this lady?

That's Teddo's wife, Lydia.

Teddy's wife?

Yup.

She's one lucky girl.

Then who's the guy on the end?

Oh! That's Teddo's best friend, Mac.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote

Will Ryder

Will Ryder (born Jeff Mullen; July 31) is an American pornographic film director, producer, screenwriter, publicist, camera operator, and composer. more…

All Will Ryder scripts | Will Ryder Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Not the Three Stooges XXX" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/not_the_three_stooges_xxx_21848>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Not the Three Stooges XXX

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Quiz

    Are you a screenwriting master?

    »
    In screenwriting, what is a "logline"?
    A A brief summary of the story
    B The first line of dialogue
    C The title of the screenplay
    D A character description