Not the Three Stooges XXX Page #7

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Then who's Mister Fancy Pants

in the top hat and scarf?

That's a snowman.

Yeah, but what's his name?

Yeah.

Now look, either you kick Moe off the show

or we're suing him!

Like, with a lawyer.

Court sounds okay to me.

You know, we could probably do

a cross-promotion with Lockup.

SNOOKl:
Great, just great.

So basically what you're saying

is this whole show is all about the ratings?

Uh... Yeah.

Unbelievable.

Just because she's wearing a genius hat

doesn't mean she is one.

Hey!

Onion-head. Porcupine!

- Oh, fellas.

Moe!

Sorry, boss, I couldn't stop them.

It's all right, Johnnie,

you're good, you're good.

Look, Moe, we owe you an apology.

No, fellas, I'm the one

who owes you the apology.

I know sometimes

I tend to fly off the handle.

- No, you don't.

- Yes, I do.

No, it's just that

you get a little upset and you...

Shut up when I'm apologizing.

We don't have time for that.

Teddy's in a jam.

You know that woman

who wanted us to take out her husband?

She's married to Teddy.

No wonder she wanted us

to smother him in his sleep.

I knew I smelled a...

A rat!

That's no rat. It's Nippy.

How you doing, buddy?

I missed you, too, Nipps.

Come on, we got work to do.

We got to get to Teddy

before his wife does.

Come on.

Come on, Romeo.

Are you kidding me?

There's three of them?

I don't get you, Lydia.

Why would you throw

a big anniversary party for Teddo?

- I thought we were trying to kill the guy.

- We are.

I just want lots of witnesses

for when that dope accidently falls

head first from the balcony.

Oh!

Well,

you two are certainly looking rather cozy.

Good Lord, Mac,

what happened to your face?

New kitty.

I'm going to go and freshen up my drink.

Okay.

Mrs. Harter, may we please go upstairs

and play in Teddo's game room?

No. You can't go upstairs.

Teddo is busy entertaining

some of my bridge club friends.

Go! Play with the balloons.

But my stupid brother popped

all the balloons. This is the last one.

We can get more balloons.

Carol, go get more balloons.

Yes, ma'am.

Madam. Madam.

Sir, madam.

No! No!

Now, we got to... Whoa! Whoa!

What's a matter with you?

You had the rudder.

Don't you know how to drive?

It just went out of control.

- What kind of poodles are those anyway?

- Standard.

There's your problem.

I can't drive a standard.

You blithering idiots.

What do you think you're doing?

Out of the way, 3PO, we gotta get Teddy.

Ow!

This is an invitation-only party.

Now, good day!

Great, now what are we going to do?

Pierre. Send those balloon men in

as soon as they get here.

Will do.

That's our cue, boys. Come on.

Balloon men coming through.

Out of our way, these things are heavy.

There you go, crusher.

I don't see him anywhere.

I smell lobster.

Okay you two,

now spread out and look for Teddy.

And remember,

a man's life is at stake here.

- Ah! Here you are, short stack.

- Thanks, mister.

Ah!

You're up, pal.

No thanks. My, that's an interesting

haircut.

Ah! Thanks, but it's not without some help.

I have a great deal of product in there.

Hey! Where are your manners?

Attaboy.

Mmm.

Ah!

- How's the dip?

- Here try it for yourself.

Mmm.

Aspen is so yesterday.

This season

we're thinking of going to Banff.

Hey, JumboTron,

you seen Teddy anywhere?

No, I haven't. How rude.

Pardon me.

- What are you grub worms doing?

- Getting seconds on lobster.

Seconds? I thought lobster

upset your stomach.

I dipped it in pesto-bismol.

Oh! You like dipping, eh? Come here.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Look, it's Santy Claws. Claws!

What did I tell you about puns?

- Ooh!

- Ah!

Excuse me, I go.

What are you, trying to

get us thrown out of here? I'll fix you.

No, Moe, no, where is your dignity?

Hold still, mister, I'll get it.

One second.

Those three idiots are here.

The Kardashian girls? Where are they?

The three bums. They crashed the party.

Oh, God! We got to get them out of here

before they ruin everything.

Madame!

May I present to you my masterpiece.

Oh, yes!

Somebody, help her!

Mommy!

Think of something, lame brains.

Hey, look. A balloon popper.

I'll get it.

What's the matter with you?

That's a kid up there.

Where's your gun safety?

That was awesome!

No!

Mon gteau!

Come on, fellas. Pardon me.

Hey, fellas, wait up!

Come on.

Teddy, Teddy, Teddy, Teddy,

what's the matter?

- Come on, boy, speak to me.

- Who are you?

- It's us, it's Moe...

- Larry.

And Curly.

Guys? What are you doing here?

All right, buddy, we got you now.

Hey, Mac. Oh, honey,

thanks so much

for inviting the boys behind my back.

That ain't the only thing

she's doing behind your back.

Yeah, she wanted us to

smother you in your sleep.

And now it looks like

she slipped you some knock-out juice.

Lydia, what are they talking about?

Honey, I am as confused as you are.

All I know

is that these men crashed our party,

and when we tried to remove them,

they start acting crazy.

Teddy, you've known us

since you were a baby.

Why, we were the ones who taught you

how to play with matches.

We treated you like a little brother.

Why would we lie to you now?

Wait, Lydia...

Why am I still in bed

if the party's going on?

I'll tell you why.

Oh, Mac...

Don't even think about it, Mac.

Real slow now, drop it to the floor.

Not a problem.

Good work, Dad.

I had a feeling something was going on.

But you, Mac?

I mean, you were my best pal!

Why would you do that?

It wasn't my idea.

She was calling the shots. I swear.

No, Mac,

I was calling the shots.

I suggest we finish this discussion

in a more secluded place

so as not to ruin the party.

Yes, after all it is my anniversary.

Ouch.

I don't get it.

Why did it have to come to this, Dad?

Well, son, I didn't get rich

simply by lawyering.

I married into it.

Unfortunately, when your mom

passed away,

she left everything to you.

So you were just using me

to do your dirty work.

Oh, you cracked the code.

What's so funny, Butterbean?

Nothing, Nippy's whiskers are tickling me.

Who's Nippy?

Him.

Take it out!

Open the door!

Shoot the window out!

No! It's wet!

Why would you let the gun get wet?

When possible, make a legal U-turn.

How long will the air last?

Maybe five minutes if we stay calm.

We gotta break a window.

It's impossible.

There's 1,000 pounds of water

pressing against that glass.

Great, great!

How could this possibly get any worse?

I'm sorry, I guess the pesto-bismol

didn't help with the lobster.

Did you eat the shells again?

I don't know.

It was on the plate and then it wasn't.

Wait a minute! Does anyone have a lighter?

No.

All I got are these stupid, easy-light,

waterproof safety matches.

Why you... Give me that!

- Everybody close your eyes!

- Maybe that's not such a...

Come on, come on,

what's it gonna take, huh?

Come on, what's it gonna take?

Let's make a deal.

Shut up!

- You shut up.

I'll sing like a canary.

You name them, I'll blame them.

I don't care.

It's ironic, isn't it?

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