Nothing But Trouble Page #5

Synopsis: A financier [Chevy Chase] meets a spurned lover [Demi Moore] and agrees to take her to a business meeting. On the way there, they run a stop sign in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. They are arrested and taken to the local court. But all is not as it seems: the courthouse and the "prison" are a maze of zany booby- traps and deadly contraptions. The antics of the captured couple as they try to escape from the mad judge and his bizarre family make up the rest of this unusual film.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Dan Aykroyd
Production: Warner Home Video
  2 wins & 6 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.9
Rotten Tomatoes:
5%
PG-13
Year:
1991
94 min
1,734 Views


GOT IT. GO ON.

JESUS. LOOK OUT.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

AHH.

I DON'T KNOW

HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS CRAP

I CAN TAKE.

WE'RE TRAPPED.

WOW. LOOK A ALL THESE IDs.

WHAT IS THIS?

THERE MUST BE:

THOUSANDS OF THEM.

PASSPORTS:

AND AUTO CLUB CARDS.

WOW. A LICENSE.

"VIRGINIA HORSE AND

TRAPPINGS, 1896"?

"STATEWIDE SEARCH

FOR OUTLAW BIKER

GANG UNDERWAY."

"BUSLOAD OF

HARE KRISHNAS...

DISAPPEARS."

"EX-NAZI ROCKE SCIENTIST VANISHES."

'49.

ALL THESE IDs

MATCH THE NEWS CLIPPINGS.

LOOK AT THIS.

"JIMMY HOFFA

STILL MISSING"?

HERE'S HIS ID.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

OH, WOW.

I THINK THEY'VE BEEN

DOING THIS AROUND HERE

SINCE THE 1890s.

I DON'T SEE ANY REASON

WHY THEY'LL STOP AT US.

I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS.

THEY'RE ALL

CRIMINALS AND CREEPS.

BANKERS.

EXACTLY.

NAH.

AAH!

WHAT HAPPENED?

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]

OH.

I WISH WE WERE:

ON THAT TRAIN.

ME, TOO.

GOOD LUCK, SLICK.

LOOK AT THIS.

IT'S A SLIDE.

YEAH, BUT THIS

IS NO PLAYGROUND.

COULD BE A BED:

OF SPIKES DOWN THERE.

LET'S GO.

GO. YOU GO.

TAKE IT SLOW.

AAH!

AH, SH*T! OHHH!

DIANE!

OHHH!

UH-OH. DIANE.

AAH!

WHERE? WHY? WHAT?

WHAT? WHEN?

OH, NO!

CHRIS.

CHRIS.

COME ON.

CHRIS!

YOU GET DOWN HERE

RIGHT NOW!

COME ON.

%% OH %%

%% HOWDY-DO %%

YEAH. HECK, I ALWAYS

WAS A GOOD-LOOKING FELLA.

[HUMMING]

[FARTS]

THE BEEMER.

[GASP]

UH-OH.

COME ON.

FANTASTIC.

Recorded message:

THIS IS CELL-NET ONE.

THE SYSTEM:

TO WHICH YOU SUBSCRIBE

HAS NO AGREEMEN WITH OUR SERVICE--

GEE, WE HAVE

TO FINISH THIS WORK

FOR GRANDPA ALVIN, OK?

WE'RE ALWAYS

WORKING FOR HIM.

HE TREATS US:

LIKE WE'RE HIS DOGS,

NOT HIS GRANDSONS.

WE GO NO HUMAN RIGHTS.

HE'S JUST MAD THA WE BOTH GOT SO FA WE COULDN' FINISH HIGH SCHOOL.

YOU'RE THE FAT ONE

BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS EA TOO MUCH CEREAL.

YOU'RE THE ONE

WHO'S FAT.

NOT AS FAT AS YOU.

YOU'RE THE FAT ONE.

JUST GET THE HAMMER.

I GOT IT.

CAN'T YOU

HOLD THAT STRAIGHT?

HEY. YOU'RE THE ONE

WHO'S FORGING.

CAN'T YOU EVEN SEE?

I CAN SEE:

YOU'RE STUPID.

OH, THAT'S IT.

I AM NEVER:

WORKING FOR YOU:

IN THIS:

FOUNDRY AGAIN.

NEVER!

GIVE ME THAT. GO GE A BALL-PEEN HAMMER.

NO!

THE ONE'S THAT ROUND

ON THE END.

I KNOW THE BALL-PEEN

HAMMER'S ROUND.

HE THINKS:

I'M HIS CHILD.

OH!

OOH! TRESPASSER!

GET HER!

GET HER!

OOH!

STOP, TRESPASSER!

STOP!

AAH!

AAH!

HI.

ELDONA'S

GOT HER.

THAT'S GOOD.

YES.

ELDONA'S GOT HER.

THAT'S NOT GOOD.

NO. THAT'S NO GOOD.

AAH!

STOP! WHAT ARE

YOU DOING?

NO, ELDONA. NO.

OH! NO! NO! NO!

WHAT ARE:

YOU DOING?

NO, NO.

DON'T THROW HER IN THE

MINEFIRE VENT, PLEASE.

WE JUST WAN TO PLAY WITH HER.

OH, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

I KNOW. I KNOW.

WE WON'T LOSE HER.

HI.

I'M BOBO.

THAT'S L'LL DEBBULL.

HI. WE'RE NOT ALLOWED

IN THE HOUSE.

AHH.

OH. OH.

IS SHE OK?

[SNORING]

[CRACKLING]

JUDGE VALKENHEISER.

JUDGE!

WAAAAA!

I GOT SOME SPEEDERS.

I'M BRINGING THEM IN.

I'LL MEET YOU

IN THE COURTROOM.

KEEP ALL YOUR FAT PARTS

IN ONE PLACE.

I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.

%% OH, BABY,

YOU HIT ME LIKE THUNDER %%

%% GET OVER, GET ONTO,

GET INTO %%

%% TO LOVE IT WAS

ALWAYS A SIN TO %%

%% GET UP OR GET OVER,

GET UNDER %%

%% OH, BABY,

YOU HIT ME LIKE THUNDER %%

%% GET OVER, GET ONTO,

GET INTO... %%

THAT'S IT, FELLAS.

RIGHT UP THE STAIRS.

HERE WE ARE,

GENTLEMEN.

COME ALONG.

JOIN THE PARTY.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

COME ON. EVERYBODY.

MAN, WOULD YOU LOOK

AT THIS PLACE?

IT'S LIKE

EXTREMELY DRACULATED.

WHITE MAN'S HEAVEN.

ONE AT A TIME.

HERE WE ARE.

WE'RE HOME. LET'S GO. 1, 2.

LICKETY-SPLIT.

SHE IS ONE UGLY,

CROSS-BURNING,

REDNECK, PECKERWOOD

POLICE B*TCH, MAN.

ALL RIGHT, MOVE.

A GOOD MAN'S WORK

IS NEVER DONE.

OH, I SAT AROUND

ALL DAY:

LISTENING TO:

ALL THOSE STORIES

WHEN I WAN TO RELAX AND JUST...

"VILLAGE REEVE HUR IN FOUNDRY BLAST."

SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED

TO THE POOR,

OLD, UGLY PUSBAG.

I THOUGHT I TOOK CARE

OF MY VERMIN PROBLEM

LAST YEAR.

I'M GLAD

I FORGOT MY PISTOL.

BAD CALL, CORN FLAKE.

I LEFT THAT LEG:

IN FRANCE.

AND NOW...

I'M GONNA STICK YOU.

I'M GONNA DIG

SO MANY NEW HOLES IN YOU,

YOU'RE GONNA LOOK

LIKE A SALT SHAKER.

GET YOUR ITALIAN LOAFERS

OUT OF MY BEDPAN.

OOH!

I'M GOING TO

MAKE YOU CRY NOW, BOY.

CHEW ON THIS,

YOU STINKING RELIC.

MY SKUNK!

[CRACK]

YOU ARE WORSE THAN A WEEK

OF YELLOW SH*T STORMS.

FIRST I FIND YOU ROOTING AROUND

IN MY PRIVATE THINGS.

NOW YOU'RE

MAKING ADVANCES:

AGAINS MY LITTLE GRANDDAUGHTER.

I WAS JUST TRYING

TO GET AWAY FROM YOU.

I RAN INTO HER, OK?

WELL, SHE'S GO YOUR TAINT ON HER NOW.

TAINT.

NO CHOICE:

BUT HOUSE POLICY.

FINE. HOUSE POLICY.

WHAT'S HOUSE POLICY?

WHATEVER MAN TOUCHES HER

IS THE ONE SHE KEEPS.

WHAT? WHAT ARE

YOU TALKING--

OH, NO. WAIT A MINUTE.

OH, NO. WAIT A MINUTE.

I JUST WENT THROUGH

A GODDAMN STOP SIGN.

I JUST WANT TO GE TO ATLANTIC CITY.

PLEASE, JUDGE.

SHE'LL KNOW

WHAT TO DO WITH HIM.

[MARCH PLAYS]

WHAT THE HELL:

IS THAT?

OK. WHAT'S GOING ON?

BOY!

12:
30, ISN'T IT?

KIND OF LATE.

I WAS DREAMING I WAS BACK

IN FRANCE ON FURLOUGH.

STEP FORWARD, CONSTABLE.

WHAT ARE THE CHARGES HERE?

SPEEDING.

75 IN A 50.

IN A HEARSE.

WELL, IF I WAS AN AMBULANCE,

YOU GOT A CHANCE.

IF IT'S IN A HEARSE,

GOT TO BE WORSE.

OK. WELL, THIS

IS A UNION CARD, HUH?

WHAT ARE YOU,

MINE WORKERS?

AW, MAN.

NO, MAN.

WE'RE MUSICIANS.

WE'RE A HIP-HOP BAND.

YOU KNOW:

WHAT I'M SAYING?

HIP-HOP? MUSICIANS?

SO YOUSE ALL:

MUSICIANS, HUH?

YEAH. DEEJAYS.

CONSTABLE,

YOU SEARCH THE VEHICLE?

YES, SIR. I DID.

IT CONTAINS:

MUSICAL ITEMS.

WELL, I, UH...

WELL...I'D

BETTER SEE THEM.

BRING THEM ALL IN,

SET THEM UP.

LET ME SEE THEM.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.

%% BIG GIRLS %%

%% DON'T CRY %%

%% BIG GIRLS %%

%% DON'T CRY %%

%% BIG GIRLS %%

%% DON'T CRY-Y-Y %%

%% THEY DON'T CRY %%

%% BIG GIRLS %%

%% DON'T CRY %%

%% WHO SAID %%

%% THEY DON'T CRY %%

%% MY GIRL %%

%% SAID GOOD-BYE-Y-Y %%

%% MY, OH, MY... %%

ELDONA, YOU KNOW HE'S

NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE YOU

ON THIS SPECIAL DAY.

SPECIAL DAY?

WHAT IS IT,

HALLOWEEN?

RIGHT THIS WAY,

MR. SNAPPY COMEBACK.

MM-HMM.

AFTER THIS,

YOU CAN SEE US:

DO OUR TAG-TEAM

WRESTLING SHOW.

OK? 3.

OK.

LET'S GO.

I GOT THAT!

I GOT THAT!

I WIN. MY DEAL.

BOBO WINS BECAUSE

BOBO'S HAND WAS ON TOP.

YEAH. MY HAND'S ON TOP.

I WIN. MY DEAL.

NO, I WON. MY DEAL.

MY HAND'S ON TOP.

MY DEAL. I WIN.

THAT'S RIGHT. BOBO WINS.

BOBO'S HAND WAS ON TOP.

MY HAND WAS ON TOP.

I WIN. I DEAL.

OK.

OK.

IF I WIN AGAIN,

I GET...

ANOTHER BOWL:

OF CEREAL.

AND IF I WIN,

I GET DIANE.

NO, LLL DEBBULL.

MY DEAL.

OK, BOBO. DEAL 'EM.

DROP THE BEAT, J.

%% BEEN ALL AROUND

THE WORLD %%

%% BEEN ALL AROUND

THE WORLD %%

%% ALL AROUND

THE WORLD %%

%% SAME SONG %%

%% A-ALL AROUND

THE WORLD %%

%% SAME SONG %%

%% I CAME FOR THE PARTY %%

%% TO GET NAUGHTY,

GET MY ROCKS ON %%

%% EAT POPCORN %%

%% WATCH YOU

MOVE YOUR BODY %%

%% TO THE POP SONG THA I'M SINGIN', DING-A-LINGIN' %%

%% FUNKY BEAT'S RINGIN' %%

%% EVERYBODY SWINGIN'

IN THE PLACE %%

%% AS I KICK

THE J-A-Z-Z-Y STYLE %%

%% R & B MIXIN' IT WITH THE

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Dan Aykroyd

Daniel Edward Aykroyd (born July 1, 1952) is a Canadian-American actor, comedian, musician, businessman and filmmaker. He was an original member of the "Not Ready for Prime Time Players" on Saturday Night Live (1975–79). A musical sketch he performed with John Belushi on SNL, The Blues Brothers, turned into an actual performing band and then the 1980 film The Blues Brothers. He conceived and starred in Ghostbusters (1984), which spawned a sequel and eventually an entire media franchise. In 1990, he was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his work in the 1989 film Driving Miss Daisy. He starred in his own sitcom, Soul Man (1997–98). Aykroyd is also a businessman, having co-founded the House of Blues chain of music venues and the Crystal Head Vodka brand. more…

All Dan Aykroyd scripts | Dan Aykroyd Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Nothing But Trouble" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/nothing_but_trouble_14982>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Quiz

    Are you a screenwriting master?

    »
    Which screenwriter created the "West Wing" TV series?
    A Shonda Rhimes
    B J.J. Abrams
    C David E. Kelley
    D Aaron Sorkin