Nothing But Trouble Page #6

HIP-HOP SWING BEAT CHAMPAGNE %%

%% IN MY HAND,

IT WON'T BE LONG %%

%% TILL I'M GONE %%

%% IT'S JUS THE SAME OLD SONG %%

%% IT'S JUS A FREE STYLE %%

%% MEANWHILE WE'LL KEEP

THE BEAT KICKIN' %%

%% SWEAT DRIPPIN' %%

%% GIRLIES IN THE LIMO

EATIN' CHICKEN %%

%% OOPS, DON'T GET THE GREASE

ON YOUR PANTY HOSE %%

%% I LOVE YOU, ROVER, MOVE OVER,

I GOTTA BLOW MY NOSE %%

%% SNEEZIN', BUT STILL

I'M PLEASIN' ALL THE SLIMMIES %%

%% PULL OUT MY JIMMY %%

%% TIME TO GET BUSY

WITH A JENNY %%

%% IF IT'S GOOD AND PLENTY,

DON'T YOU KNOW? %%

%% THERE I GO, THERE I GO,

THERE I GO %%

%% BUT I DON'T GO NOWHERE

WITHOUT MY GYM HAT %%

%% WHEN I'M RAPPIN' AS IF SHE'S

CLAPPIN', THEN I'M STRAPPIN' %%

%% 'CAUSE I'M SMARTER

THAN THAT %%

%% AND THEN, GIRLIE,

MAYBE WE CAN GET ALONG %%

%% CUTIE AFTER CUTIE %%

%% IT'S JUS THE SAME OLD SONG %%

%% ALL AROUND

THE WORLD %%

%% SAME SONG %%

%% AHH %%

%% ALL AROUND

THE WORLD %%

%% SAME SONG %%

%% ALL AROUND

THE WORLD %%

%% SAME SONG %%

%% ALL AROUND

THE WORLD %%

%% SAME SONG %%

%% ALL AROUND

THE WORLD %%

%% SAME SONG %%

%% ALL--ALL AROUND

THE WORLD %%

%% SAME SONG %%

%% ALL AROUND

THE WORLD %%

%% SAME SONG %%

YES.

YEP.

YOU SURE ARE A GAGGLE

OF MUSICIANS, SURE ENOUGH.

AND NOW...

THE DISPOSITION:

OF YOUR CASE.

UH, GATHER IN

A LITTLE CLOSER, THERE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

RIGHT THERE. YEAH.

IN LIGHT OF:

YOUR CONTRIBUTION

TO THE COMMON GOOD,

I HEREBY WAVE ALL FINES,

SUSPEND ALL SENTENCES.

YOU'RE FREE TO GO.

HEY. HOLD THE HARVEST.

THERE IS ANOTHER MATTER

BEFORE THE SHIRE COUR THIS EVENING.

AND, UH...

WELL, YOUSE ALL

MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP.

WHERE'S DIANE?

OH, SHE WENT HOME.

I GOT SOMETHING:

BETTER FOR YOU.

FIRST YOU OUGHTA

KNOW SOMETHING.

IN MANY CASES HERE,

I DO OFTEN CHOOSE

TO INVEIGH:

THE MAXIMUM LEVY.

FREQUENTLY, UNDESIRABLES

ARE PUT TO DEATH.

I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.

COME ON. BUT DEATH

FOR RUNNING A STOP SIGN?

AND FOR BEING:

A BANKER.

THAT'S

THE DOUBLE DEATH.

HOWEVER,

I'D BE WILLING

TO CAST ASIDE:

ALL FINDINGS,

BE BLIND TO:

YOUR BANKER'S BLOOD,

LET YOU LIVE OU YOUR DAYS HERE

AS HUSBAND:

TO MY GRANDDAUGHTER,

FATHER TO HER CHILD,

AND HEIR TO MY SEAT.

WHA-WHAT ARE

YOU SAYING?

IT'S DEATH OR ELDONA?

OH, COME ON, LAD.

TAKE HER HAND.

WARM MY TIRED:

OLD HEART.

I KNOW WOMEN.

SHE LOVES YOU.

EVER SINCE:

SHE SAW YOU,

SHE'S BEEN

FLOATING AROUND:

LIKE MILKWEED:

IN A SPRING BREEZE.

UH-HUH.

MAKE HER HAPPY.

TAKE CARE:

OF HER NEEDS,

AND YOU'LL INHERI A FORTUNE

ALI BABA:

WOULD CRAVE.

LISTEN, JUDGE.

UH...

YOU KNOW, I'VE--I'VE SPEN SOME TIME ALONE WITH HER,

AND SHE'S

A SPECTACULAR WOMAN.

SHE'S QUIE BUT, UH, JUST SHY.

MUTE.

AH.

BUT, JUDGE, AS FAR AS

HER NEEDS ARE CONCERNED,

I COULD NEVER PRESUME

TO BE ABLE TO FILL THEM.

OH, YOU CAN SLIP ON

A PUD COLLAR.

NOW, LET ME GET YOU

OUT OF THESE CUFFS

AND CHAINS,

AND I'LL GET YOU

ALL MARRIED UP,

AND WE'LL WELCOME

YOU TO THIS FAMILY

WITH AN:

ALL-NIGHT REEL.

NO CUFFS, HUH?

NO CUFFS.

PUD COLLAR.

WELL, I MUST SAY...

IT SOUNDS:

AWFULLY TEMPTING.

HIT IT.

YO. DROP IT, J.

THAT'S IT.

YO.

WHAT IT BE?

WHAT IT BE?

%% WELL, TIE THE KNOT %%

%% TIE, TIE THE KNOT %%

IN HER OWN WAY,

SHE'S KIND OF

SPECIAL, ISN'T SHE?

YOU'LL NEVER

HAVE CAR TROUBLE.

[BAND HUMS

HERE COMES THE BRIDE]

%% DA DA DA DA DA %%

%% DA-DA %%

%% DA DA %%

AH, YEAH.

OK.

AHEM.

THE DISTRIC AND COMMONWEALTH,

HEREBY DULY RECOGNIZING

THE WILL AND WISH

OF A MAN AND WOMAN

TO ENTER THE HOLY

AND LIFE-BINDING

STATE OF MATRIMONY,

HEREWITH CONFIRM

THAT YOU,

ELDONA MARJORIE:

VALKENHEISER,

DO TAKE TO HUSBAND

ONE...

CHRISTOPHER:

LAWRENCE THORNE.

HMM.

MMM.

AND YOU...

CHRISTOPHER:

LAWRENCE THORNE...

CONFIRM THAT YOU DO

TAKE TO WIFE...

ONE ELDONA MARJORIE

VALKENHEISER?

[MUMBLES]

PARDON?

WHAT?

[MUMBLES]

SPEAK UP!

I CAN--

I DO--I DO.

MMM.

THIS OFFICE SO RECOGNIZES

AND CERTIFIES THIS UNION

AND DECLARES THAT YOU ARE

NOW WEDDED MAN AND WIFE.

[POUNDS GAVEL]

YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE.

WELL, JUDGE, PLENTY

OF TIME FOR THA ON THE HONEYMOON.

YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE.

NO, NOT IN FRON OF ALL THESE PEOPLE,

YOUR HONOR.

NOW!

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE

BEFORE THE OLD MAN

CHANGES HIS MIND.

WAIT! WAIT!

HELP ME!

WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

HELP ME! THESE

ARE DANGEROUS PEOPLE.

NO!

IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

I WAS NERVOUS:

AT MY WEDDING, TOO.

NO! PLEASE!

NEVER MIND HIM.

HE'S JUST GO THE WEDDING NIGHT JITTERS.

JUST GO OU THE WAY YOU CAME.

I'LL OPEN THE GATE

AND FLIP THE BRIDGE FOR YOU.

YOU BE COOL, MAN.

YEAH, WELL, BYE.

YOU WEAK-LIVERED PUFFBALL!

DAMN CITY-WORKING,

YUPPITY WELL WALLET!

LOOK HOW YOU:

HURT MY GRANDDAUGHTER.

AW, YOU AIN' FAMILY MATERIAL ANYWAY.

NO, JUDGE!

AW, COME ON,

JUDGE!

NO, I WASN'T...

NO, JUDGE!

WHY? I...

JUDGE,

WHA--WHAT...

WAIT!

WHOA, NELLY!

AW, COME ON,

JUDGE!

OH, NO, AH!

SO LONG, CHARLIE!

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS NOW?

OH, NO, OH, NO!

OH, PLEASE, GOD!

GUARANTEED YOU'RE GOING

TO ENJOY THIS RIDE!

OH, GOD!

Judge:
I'M OF THE SCHOOL

THAT BELIEVES:

THE LAST 30 SECONDS

OF A PERSON'S LIFE

OUGHT TO HAVE:

A LITTLE ZIP IN THEM.

JUDGE, LISTEN,

I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.

AAH!

%% GOIN' DOWN %%

%% BONESTRIPPER... %%

OH, PLEASE,

OH, PLEASE, GOD, NO!

JUDGE, I'M SORRY, PLEASE!

I--I--I LOVE ELDONA!

I LOVE YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER!

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!

AAH!

OH, NO! MY--HEY!

PLEASE, GOD, HELP!

PLEASE, GOD, STOP!

PLEASE, GOD, OH, PLEASE!

GOD...

OH, PLEASE, DEAR LORD!

PLEASE...

PLEASE, GOD, I...

THANK YOU, LORD.

OH.

DAMN THING:

BLEW A BELT.

TELL ELDONA:

TO GO AND FIX IT.

EASY ON HER, GRANDPA.

SHE'S MIGHTY BROKE UP.

I'LL GET HIM.

DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!

BRING THAT THERE LOAD

TO THE GRADERTINE.

DIANE?

DIANE?

%% I MEAN, I MEAN, I MEAN,

I MEAN I LOVE YOU %%

%% I DREAM, I DREAM,

I DREAM, I DREAM %%

%% HOW I LOVE YOU %%

%% OH, KISS, OH, KISS,

OH, KISSITY KISS %%

COME ON!

ELDONA!

MMM.

MMM.

OK.

AAH!

YOU GO ON,

GET OUT OF HERE!

GET OUT OF HERE,

YOU BIG SLUSHBAG!

GO ON BACK TO YOUR HOLE.

EXCUSE MY GRANDKIDS.

THEY'RE ALL SPOILED

PULP ROTTEN!

THAT'S RIGHT.

TOO MUCH, TOO EASY,

TOO SOON.

KIDS TODAY, I KNOW.

THANKS.

WANT A MINT CANDY?

OH, UH...

NO, NO.

MISSY...

I SURE DO HATE:

TO CUT AND SHUFFLE

A FINE LITTLE MUFFE LIKE YOU.

ME, TOO.

BUT I WILL!

IF JOE POLO:

DON'T SHOW.

NOW, HE HUR MY FAMILY.

OK.

CHILD, YOU'LL WALK FREE.

SCOT-FREE,

RIGHT OUT OF HERE.

YOU JUST GE ON THE TWO-WAY NOW

AND TELL MR. HIGH-CLASS

TO COME ON IN.

OK, I'LL TALK TO HIM

RIGHT NOW.

ALL RIGHT.

AAH!

YOU OK, JUDGE?

SEE?

SEE THAT?

NOW SOMEBODY'S

GOT TO PAY:

FOR THE WAY:

THEY SAPPED THIS GROUND.

YOU WAN YOUR PILLS?

I'M ALL RIGHT.

HEY, HOTWORM!

LISTEN!

WE GOT YOUR PRETTY LITTLE

GIRLFRIEND DOWN HERE

READY TO GO ON THE GRADERTINE

FOR A QUARTERING,

BUT BECAUSE:

SHE'S A BRIGHT-EYED,

SMART-LOOKING TYPE,

I'M WILLING

TO MAKE A TRADE.

YOU LIE DOWN:

IN HER PLACE,

SHE GOES FREE.

WE'LL ALL BE HAPPY,

INCLUDING YOU.

HERE, HERE, YOU TELL--

WHERE THE HELL'S

THAT DOG-FOOD-EATING GRANDSON

OF MINE ANYWAY?

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