Nothing But Trouble Page #7

DENNIS!

HERE, YOU TALK.

WHAT'S GOING ON

WITH HIM, ANYWAY?

WHAT, IS SOMEBODY NO GIVING HIM HIS NAPALM?

UH, CHRIS...

HI. UM...IT'S DIANE.

UM, LISTEN...

RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

SAVE YOURSELF!

TELL THE WORLD:

ABOUT THIS PLACE!

JUST--AAH!

OH, BOY.

YOU REALLY PUT THE PIN

IN THE PARTY HOG NOW, GIRL.

YOU GOT 5 MINUTES

TO COME ON IN,

OR SHE GETS CU AND SHUFFLED.

MIND, NOW, NO GALLANTRY

AND NO SUICIDE STUNTS.

YOU JUST COME ON IN.

COME ON, NOW.

BE A REAL MAN.

SURPRISE YOURSELF.

SAVE THE WOMAN.

GIVE YOURSELF UP

FOR THE GIRL.

SHE'LL CRY OVER YOU

FOR WEEKS.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, BOY?

HEH HEH HEH!

AIN'T SHE WORTH IT?

ALL RIGHT,

YOU OLD LIVER SPOT.

SORRY ABOUT THIS, DIANE.

BUT WE HAVE TO TIE YOU DOWN

LIKE GRANDPA ALVIN SAYS.

I WISH IT WAS HIM

WE WERE TYING DOWN

INSTEAD OF YOU.

WE DON'T LIKE HIM,

BUT WE LOVE YOU.

THIS IS A CLASSIC CASE

OF A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY.

YOU SHOULD CONSIDER

SOME HELP, SOME THERAPY.

HE WON'T GO!

Judge:
OK, COWBOY.

LAST CHANCE SALOON.

I'M GOING TO COUNT DOWN

FROM 10.

IF I DON'T HEAR

YOUR VOICE:

BY THE TIME:

I GET TO ONE,

I'M GOING TO CUT HER!

AAH! OH, DON'T!

ELDONA, GET THEM BLADES UP.

MMM.

ELDONA, HEY, LISTEN...

WHY DON'T WE GO TO NEW YORK?

I'LL TAKE YOU

TO ELIZABETH ARDEN.

10!

GET ME OUT OF HERE!

COME ON NOW, BANKER!

WHAT'S WRONG

WITH THIS LITTLE GIRL?

SHE A BAD KISSER

OR SOMETHING?

CHRIS, I REALLY DIDN' MEAN TO SAVE YOURSELF.

GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE

AND SAVE ME!

CHRIS, GET DOWN HERE!

YOU AIN'T GIVING ME

MUCH CHOICE, BOY.

PLEASE, CHRIS!

ALL RIGHT, BOY.

LAST CHANCE SALOON!

DON'T!

AAH!

DIANE!

HELP ME!

OH, GOD, HURRY,

GET MY HANDS.

HOLD ON!

OH, MY GOD!

GET MY HANDS!

WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?

OK, OH, GET ME OUT.

I KNEW YOU'D SAVE ME.

I THINK I DIRTIED

MY DIAPER.

GET ME THE HELL:

OUT OF HERE, CHRIS!

HE'S FLY-DICKING

WITH ME!

ELDONA,

DROP THOSE BLADES!

GET HIM, GET HIM!

AAH!

OH, SH*T!

HEY!

WHO ARE:

THE INFANT BODIES?

BOBO AND LLL DEBBULL.

THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED

IN THE HOUSE.

GET THAT SPOTLIGHT,

OK?

OK.

WHAT DO YOU PLAY

IN ATLANTIC CITY?

BLACKJACK? CRAPS?

GOT TO FIND THEM!

I DON'T THINK

THEY SAW US.

COME ON.

EXCUSE ME,

COMING THROUGH.

SORRY.

EXCUSE ME.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]

AW, WE'LL NEVER

GET ACROSS THIS.

LET'S HEAD

TOWARDS THE TRAIN.

COME ON,

THROUGH THE WOODS.

SMELLS:

LIKE SAO PAULO.

WHO'S THAT MAN

THAT WAS WITH HER?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW, NEITHER,

BUT SHE GOT AWAY.

YOU'RE THE ONE

THAT WAS SUPPOSED

TO BE WATCHING HER.

YEAH, THAT'S THE MOS BEAUTIFUL GIRL

I'VE EVER SEEN.

BOBO, SHUT UP

AND DRIVE!

THERE THEY ARE!

ON THE HILL!

GET THEM BEFORE:

THEY GET TO THE TOP.

STOP THEM!

TRAIN.

HEY!

HEY!

HEY!

STOP!

HEY, STOP!

HEY!

NOW!

COME ON!

I'M WITH YOU.

RIGHT!

COME ON, REACH!

YOU CAN DO IT!

I CAN'T MAKE IT.

TRUST ME.

COME ON, REACH OUT!

COME ON, THAT'S IT.

DAMN IT!

[RANTING]

WE GOT TO GE SOME HELP.

AS SOON:

AS THE TRAIN STOPS,

WE'LL GET OFF

AND CALL THE POLICE.

YOU SAVED MY LIFE.

THANKS.

IT WAS WORTH IT.

BYE, DIANE!

DIANE...

BYE-BYE!

BYE, DIANE.

WE WENT AROUND IN

THAT SPINNING BED,

THE DOOR FLEW UP,

AND WE CAME--

GOT UP INTO THAT,

UH, A-ATTIC--

IN THE ATTIC--

WITH THE NEWSPAPERS

AND THE, UH...

ALL THOSE LICENSES,

AND THEN--

THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHERE

WE FOUND ALL THE LICENSES

AND THE NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS

WHICH MATCHED--

WE WERE SMOKING:

A CIGAR, RELAXING--

THERE WAS NO WAY

TO KNOW--

WHAT WAS THAT?

AN ESCAPE HATCH:

OR WHATEVER.

THIS DOOR OPENED,

AND WE WENT FLYING.

BOBO AND L'IL DEBBULL

SAVED ME.

AND WE CLIMBED:

THE CLIFF:

TILL WE GO ON THE TRAIN

RIGHT AFTER THE:

FUEL DUMP EXPLOSION.

WE THINK MAYBE:

THE BRAZILLIONAIRES

HAVE BEEN KILLED.

THAT'S--DEAD.

YOU FOLKS, OF COURSE,

WILL HAVE TO COME WITH US

FOR IDENTIFICATION

PURPOSES.

WAIT A MINUTE.

THIS MAN REMOVED

HIS NOSE AND UPPER TEETH

3 INCHES

IN FRONT OF MY FACE

AND STARTED CROONING

LIKE BING CROSBY.

I'D LIKE TO HELP OUT,

BUT I'M PRETTY SURE

I CAN PICK HIM OU IN A LINEUP,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

WE COULD DO IT.

WE?

THIS IS THE STATE

ATTORNEY GENERAL.

WE HAVE A WARRAN TO SEARCH THESE PREMISES.

WHY NOT JUS BLAST YOUR WAY IN?

FIRST WE HAVE TO SERVE

THE WARRANT.

I BET WE COULD GE THEM TO COME OUT.

US?

MISS LIGHTSON DOESN' HAVE A BAD IDEA THERE.

WELL...

I SUPPOSE:

IT'S WORTH A TRY,

IF--IF YOU TWO

ARE UP TO IT.

IT'D BE

OUR PLEASURE.

WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT.

CAN'T WAI TO SEE HIS FACE

WHEN HE GETS A LOAD

OF THIS.

OK.

[RINGS BELL]

YES?

WELL,

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

WHO ARE YOU?

WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING

AN OLD MAN?

YOU'RE THROUGH, JUDGE.

YOU KIDS BETTER:

LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU.

THERE'S A BEE'S NEST.

HI, JUDGE ALVIN!

EVENING, TROOPERS!

CAN'T GO TOO FAR

IN THIS PART OF THE WORLD

WITHOUT RUNNING ACROSS

MY FRIENDS.

ALVIN IS SOMETHING,

ISN'T HE?

OF COURSE,

WE CAN'T ADMI THAT WE APPRECIATE THE WAY

HE GETS THINGS DONE.

AND SINCE YOU KNOW

WHAT YOU KNOW,

I'M AFRAID WE'RE GOING

TO HAVE TO COME:

TO SOME KIND:

OF A-AR-ARRAN...

[RUMBLING]

IT'S THE COAL FIRE!

THE SEAMS ARE GIVING WAY!

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

COME ON, GRAB ME.

I'M NOT GOING

TO LOSE YOU NOW.

GOT YOU.

HEY, WHAT'S

ALL THAT SHAKING?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DIDN' DO ANYTHING.

AAH!

MY BEEMER! GET IN!

NO, IT WON'T START.

IT'S GOT A FUEL

CUT-OFF SWITCH.

IT'S PAR OF THE ALARM SYSTEM.

NO SEAT BELTS.

NO ROOF.

OH, MY!

FAUSTO, THAT WAS THE

MOST ADVENTUROUS WEEKEND

OF MY ENTIRE LIFE.

WHEN I THINK ABOUT WHA HAPPENED IN VALKENVANIA,

I WOULD DO IT AGAIN.

NOT ME.

I WAS LIKE JAMES BOND.

DON'T WORRY, DENNIS.

NOW THAT YOU ARE HEAD

OF OUR PERSONAL SECURITY...

AND MY LOVER...

DUDE, YOUR LIFE'S

GOING TO BE FANTASTIC.

AND DON'T YOU WORRY.

NO ONE'S GOING

TO TOUCH YOU:

OR MY LITTLE:

FLORA DE LA LUNA.

OOH. DENNIS,

LISTEN TO ME...

[WHISTLING]

[MUMBLING]

WOOF! WOOF!

NO! UNH!

HEY, CHRIS.

CHRIS,

HEY, HEY, HEY!

IT'S OK.

TAKE IT EASY.

I THINK:

YOU'RE JUST HAVING

A LITTLE NAPMARE.

OHHH.

IT'S OVER?

OH, YEAH, IT'S OVER.

YOU'RE OK,

WE'RE SAFE.

OH, GOD.

TAKE IT EASY.

OH, JEEZ,

WHAT A WEEKEND.

YEAH, NO KIDDING.

IT'S OK.

I'M GOING TO GO

TAKE A SHOWER.

OK.

JUST REST.

I'LL REST.

OK.

I'M GOING TO WATCH

A LITTLE TV.

NUMEROUS FIRE COMPANIES

FROM NEW YORK,

NEW JERSEY, OHIO,

AND ALL:

NEIGHBORING STATES

ARE BARELY ABLE:

TO HANDLE:

THE SUBTERRANEAN MINE FIRE

NEAR THE TOWN:

OF VALKENVANIA.

DIANE,

YOU SHOULD SEE THIS.

OUR SUSAN CAMPOS IS ON THE SCENE.

THIS CLOUD MAY HAVE

A SILVER LINING.

GEOLOGISTS SAY THE BRIEF

BUT INTENSE HEA FROM FISSURES

10 MILES BELOW

HAVE COOKED THE UPPER

COAL TAILINGS:

INTO A FINE,

MEDIUM-GRADE CRUDE--

OVER 50 MILLION BARRELS.

WAIT JUST--JUS ONE SECOND, ROGER.

I SEE ONE OF:

THE VILLAGE RESIDENTS

RUMMAGING THROUGH

THE REMAINS.

EXCUSE ME, SIR,

HOW DO YOU FEEL:

NOW THAT YOU:

HAVE LOST EVERYTHING?

AT LEAST WE ALL:

GOT OUT ALIVE.

'COURSE, THERE'S NOTHING

LEFT FOR US HERE NOW,

SO WE'RE PLANNING

TO MOVE IN:

WITH MY GRANDSON-IN-LAW.

HE LIVES:

IN NEW YORK CITY.

OH, COME ON, NO! WHA--

SEE YOU SOON, BANKER!

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