Notting Hill Page #5

KAREN:

Mr. Thacker?

WILLIAM:

(so weary)

Yes?

KAREN:

Have you got a moment?

INT. ANNA'S SUITE SITTING ROOM - DAY

They knock on her door.

ANNA (V.O.)

Come in.

William enters. A certain nervousness. They are alone again.

ANNA:

Ahm. That thing I was doing tonight

-- I'm not doing it any more. I told

them I had to spend the evening with

Britain's premier equestrian

journalist.

WILLIAM:

Oh well, great. Perfect. Oh no --

shittity brickitty -- it's my sister's

birthday -- sh*t -- we're meant to be

having dinner.

ANNA:

Okay -- fine.

WILLIAM:

But no, I'm sure I can get out of it.

ANNA:

No, I mean, if it's fine with you,

I'll, you know, be your date.

WILLIAM:

You'll be my date at my little sister's

birthday party?

ANNA:

If that's all right.

WILLIAM:

I'm sure it's all right. My friend

Max is cooking and he's acknowledged

to be the worst cook in the world, but

you know, you could hide the food in

your handbag or something.

ANNA:

Okay.

WILLIAM:

Okay.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Bella and Max are in the kitchen.

MAX:

He's bringing a girl?

BELLA:

Miracles do happen.

MAX:

Does the girl have a name?

BELLA:

He wouldn't say.

MAX:

Christ, what is going on in there?

The oven seems to be smoking a little. Then the bell rings.

MAX (cont'd)

Oh God.

It's bad timing. Max shoots out of the kitchen.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Max heads for the door impatiently. He opens it and turns back

without looking at William and Anna standing there.

MAX:

Come on in. Vague food crisis.

William and Anna move along the corridor to the kitchen.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Bella is there.

BELLA:

Hiya -- sorry -- the guinea fowl is

proving more complicated than

expected.

WILLIAM:

He's cooking guinea fowl?

BELLA:

Don't even ask.

ANNA:

Hi.

BELLA:

Hi. Good Lord -- you're the spitting

image of...

WILLIAM:

Bella -- this is Anna.

BELLA:

Right.

(pause)

MAX:

Okay. Crisis over.

He rises from his stove position.

WILLIAM:

Max. This is Anna.

MAX:

Hello, Anna ahm...

(He recognizes her -- the

word just falls out)

Scott -- have some wine.

ANNA:

Thank you.

Door bell goes.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Max opens the door -- it is Honey.

MAX:

Hi.

She does a little pose, having worn a real party dress.

MAX:

Yes, Happy Birthday.

They head back along the corridor.

MAX:

Look, your brother has brought this

girl, and ahm...

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

They enter the kitchen.

HONEY:

Hi guys.

(sees Anna)

Oh holy f***.

WILLIAM:

Hun -- this is Anna. Anna -- this is

Honey -- she's my baby sitter.

ANNA:

Hiya.

HONEY:

Oh God this is one of those key moments

in life, when it's possible you can be

really, genuinely cool -- and I'm going

to fail a hundred percent. I absolutely

and totally and utterly adore you and I

think you're the most beautiful woman

in the world and more importantly I

genuinely believe and have believed for

some time now that we can be best

friends. What do you think?

ANNA:

Ahm... I think that sounds -- you know

-- lucky me. Happy Birthday.

She hands her a present.

HONEY:

Oh my God. You gave me a present.

We're best friends already. Marry

Will -- he's a really nice guy and

then we can be sisters.

ANNA:

I'll think about it.

The front door bell goes.

MAX:

That'll be Bernie.

He heads out into the corridor to the front door.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Max opens the door.

MAX:

Hello, Bernie.

BERNIE:

I'm sorry I'm so late. Bollocksed up

at work again, I fear. Millions down

the drain.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

They enter the room.

MAX:

Bernie -- this is Anna.

BERNIE:

Hello, Anna. Delighted to meet you.

Doesn't recognize her -- turns to Honey.

BERNIE:

Honey Bunny -- happy birthday to you.

(hands her a present)

It's a hat. You don't have to wear

it or anything.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

A minute or two later -- they are standing, drinking wine before

dinner. Bernie with Anna on their own -- William helping Max in

the kitchen.

MAX:

You haven't slept with her, have you?

WILLIAM:

That is a cheap question and the answer

is, of course, no comment.

MAX:

'No comment' means 'yes.'

WILLIAM:

No, it doesn't.

MAX:

Do you ever masturbate?

WILLIAM:

Definitely no comment.

MAX:

You see -- it means 'yes.'

Then on to Bernie's conversation.

BERNIE:

So tell me Anna -- what do you do?

ANNA:

I'm an actress.

BERNIE:

Splendid. I'm actually in the stock-

market, so not really similar fields,

though I have done some amateur stuff

-- P.G. Wodehouse, you know -- farce,

all that. 'Ooh -- careful there,

vicar.' Always imagined it's a

pretty tough job, though, acting.

I mean the wages are a scandal,

aren't they?

ANNA:

Well, they can be.

BERNIE:

I see friends from university --

clever chaps -- been in the business

longer than you -- they're scraping

by on seven, eight thousand a year.

It's no life. What sort of acting

do you do?

ANNA:

Films mainly.

BERNIE:

Oh splendid. Well done. How's the

pay in movies? I mean, last film you

did, what did you get paid?

ANNA:

Fifteen million dollars.

BERNIE:

Right. Right. So that's... fairly

good. On the high side... have you

tried the nuts?

MAX:

Right -- I think we're ready.

They all move towards the kitchen.

ANNA:

(to Bella)

I wonder if you could tell me where

the...?

BELLA:

Oh, it's just down the corridor on

the right.

HONEY:

I'll show you.

A moment's silence as they leave -- then in a split second the

others all turn to William.

BELLA:

Quickly, quickly -- talk very quickly

what are you doing here with Anna

Scott?

BERNIE:

Anna Scott?

BELLA:

Yes.

BERNIE:

The movie star?

BELLA:

Yup.

BERNIE:

Oh God. Oh God. Oh Goddy God.

The horror of his remembered conversation slowly unfolds.

Honey re-enters.

HONEY:

I don't believe it. I walked into the

loo with her. I was still talking when

she started unbuttoning her jeans...

She had to ask me to leave.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CONSERVATORY - NIGHT

A little later. They are sat at dinner. Bella next to Anna.

BELLA:

What do you think of the guinea fowl?

ANNA:

(whispering)

I'm a vegetarian.

BELLA:

Oh God.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CONSERVATORY - NIGHT

Moving on through the evening -- they are very relaxed, as they

eat dinner. A few seconds watching the evening going well -- Anna

is taking this in -- real friends -- relaxed -- easy, teasing.

And there's a cake. Honey wears Bernie's unsuitable hat. Anna

watches William laughing at something and then putting his head

in his hands with mock shame.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CONSERVATORY - NIGHT

Coffee time.

MAX:

Having you here, Anna, firmly

establishes what I've long suspected,

that we really are the most desperate

hot of under-achievers.

BERNIE:

Shame!

MAX:

I'm not saying it's a bad thing, in

fact, I think it's something we should

take pride in. I'm going to give the

last brownie as a prize to the saddest

act here.

A little pause. Then William turns to Bernie.

Rate this script:4.4 / 5 votes